Snark

I'm Laughing [sort of] This Evening: The Ostrich Effect

Whatever you do don't mention the Wars you know what.
The NYT criticizing Trump for no plan seriously? WTFH?
The Washington Post, well it's what Hillary probably would have done.
The Democratic Party blogs, pardon did someone say something, speak up, I cant hear you!

Yes let's not talk about you know what,ssshhhhhhh.

What are you talking about? War? Never heard of it.

Lets be Realistic.

One of the things I've been told, time and time again, is that in politics, one must be Realistic.

After all, there are millions of people who all want different things, and getting them to agree on anything is absolutely crazy. Therefore, we have to understand that politics is the science of the possible, and refusal to accept what is in front of our faces is tantamount to childish screaming.

So, let's be Realistic.

Police refuse to return Democratic Party Property.

In another blatant case of the Media's Hatred for Clinton, Debbie Wasserman Schultz was arrested with an unlicensed, fully automatic, Russian Made Assault rifle, opening fire on Left Wing Protestors on 5th Avenue, in what official reports describe as a case of "Justified Self-Defense".

According to top brass at NATO, latest Russian Sukhoi Su-35R is a complete failure

After viewing its performance at the MAKS 2017 Moscow Air Show the generals took note that the latest Russian fighter jet appears to be incapable of straight forward flight unlike the Lockheed Martin F-35. One general stated, "At 1/3rd the cost of the F-35, I suppose you get what you pay for. The Russians are obviously now so far behind they will never catch up to our advanced technological expertise."

Just What We Need - More Billionaires F*cking With Us

The Corporatocracy have perceived a need, the Democratic Party needs to be more centrist and billionaire friendly, apparently they are jealous of Republican billionaires having all the fun in Washington DC these days. Hillary Clinton would be their ideal candidate and like Trump only super wealthy people would be allowed in the administration, poor folks are such losers.

Trump Hammers Wall St!

It is truly brutal, as he promised he is going after Wall St

If there's anyone who's against Wall Street, it's Donald Trump, not Hillary Clinton, who basically lives off of the funding from Wall Street. Paul Manafort

Paul Manafort if you remember well was Chairman of Donald Trump's 2016 United States Presidential campaign.

My Theory - wherein I present no fact based evidence at all.

As the smell of burning hair wafts off the Atlantic on the westerly breeze.

Why so much panic?

Why has fake news suddenly become important now when it has been so prevalent for decades?

Well the Trump Precedent:-

Anyone with a big enough ego coupled with a similarly sized wallet [even though he didn't use it] can become president of the good old US of A, the duopoly be damned.

FDA to be culled due to Sch1 marijuana?

For immediate release: Presidential candidate Clinton to fire FDA head "first day on the job".

Ms Clinton has suggested that the days of big pharma/big alcohol and private prison profiteers controlling the half-century long war on marijuana (and perhaps other medicinal plants like kratom) are finally over.

Donald Rumsfeld endorses Hillary!

In case you didn't get it. This is SATIRE.

Donald Rumsfeld endorsed Hillary Clinton earlier today, saying “I believe Secretary Clinton is the steady hand we need in the various wars we are fighting”. This was greeted by the DNC as yet another sign that moderate, mainstream, responsible Republicans are deserting their toxic nominee.

Rumsfeld, who served as defense secretary under George W. Bush, is remembered for his commitment to sharing enduring freedoms with unfortunate countries requiring an assist to vault into the age of democracy. “I believe Hillary Clinton understands American exceptionalism and how much the world needs us” Rumsfeld is quoted as saying.

Though an unlikely endorsement, this is not the first time Hillary Clinton and Donald Rumsfeld have found themselves on the same side of a political issue. In 2002, Hillary Clinton crossed the aisle in a courageous vote to deliver the benefits of liberty to the people of Iraq, via the agency of the US armed forces. Donald Rumsfeld was the defense minister at the time. This is a “known known”.

Spokespersons for the Clinton campaign and Mr. Rumsfeld said the two had developed mutual respect and a close rapport over the years. “They both call Chicago home and share a certain mid-western simplicity. Also a common work ethic. They work very hard. Mr. Rumsfeld has a standing desk.” said the Clinton spokesperson. “This is what you might call an unknown unknown”, a spokesperson replied when asked why Mr. Rumsfled had switched his support.

With Mr. Rumsfeld’s endorsement, the Clinton campaign has been reluctantly endorsed by dozens of senior Republicans. Staffers speculated as to whether former vice-president Dick Cheney would join them. “If Cheney were to come on board, that would soften up a lot of formerly unreachable Republicans. We will always have our differences with them, but on some things, such as keeping America safe, we can agree that Secretary Clinton will be the better choice” a senior DNC official who requested anonymity said.

The biggest possible prize remains elusive, the Clinton campaign continues to pursue the highly coveted Kissinger endorsement. The pursuit continues despite recent revelations that the Carter administration was incensed at Mr. Kissinger’s 1978 trip to Argentina. On that occasion, Mr. Kissing publicly praised the military junta responsible for thousands of “disappearances”.

Troll Diary Outline and Format (DO NOT DISTRIBUTE)

Opening Statement: Use appeals to decency, and state something along the lines of knowing that your opinion is unpopular but all you're asking for is somebody to listen. Liberals eat that shit up.

Statement of Support for Liberal Position: If you're going for the shame angle, this is a very good point to obviously insert the minority status of your sock puppet. Bonus points for multiples, but don't go overboard, otherwise it becomes far too obvious.

The Scapegoating of Debbie Wasserman Shultz -WIP

I am appalled how Ms Wasserman Shultz has been treated by the Democratic Party, how can someone so loyal to the Party now be pilloried for doing exactly what she was selected to do? If anyone in this campaign has borne the brunt for the failure of the Democratic Party to convince it is her, the primaries were organized to ensure that the Party program would progress as foreseen.

Bernie Should Beg For Forgiveness!!!

He should prostate himself before the almighty Democratic Party and plead to be pardoned for daring to fight for the weakest!

He should grovel before the anointed one for daring to take on the DNC!

He should donate a pound of his flesh to the Party grandees and pray to be absolved of all his sins!

He should abandon all hope like the rest of you oiks!

We won, so fuck you!

Oh and by the way

You should get on the bus in the name of #partyunity!

Finally, the big day arrived.

For months, it seemed like the day would never come. He had planned, plotted, thought through various scenarios, even considered practicing. The thought of this day's events had taken over his life.

He had to admit that he was a little fixated on the topic. But, when he first heard of it, the thought would not leave his mind. In fact, the thought did nothing but grow. He admitted that as the big day approached, it had an impact on the rest of his life.

Let us analyze Donald Trump

Let's pick a serious topic and guess what would be the first thing that Teh Donald would think of in response. Put into words what his honest answer would be if asked a question. For example,

SCIENCE

Q: What is the Big Bang?
A: Have you seen my daughter Ivanka?

Q: What is Quantum Mechanics?
A: They are the jerks who screwed up the tuning on my Rolls. Gonna sue those jerks.

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