Opening Statement: Use appeals to decency, and state something along the lines of knowing that your opinion is unpopular but all you're asking for is somebody to listen. Liberals eat that shit up.

Statement of Support for Liberal Position: If you're going for the shame angle, this is a very good point to obviously insert the minority status of your sock puppet. Bonus points for multiples, but don't go overboard, otherwise it becomes far too obvious.

I am appalled how Ms Wasserman Shultz has been treated by the Democratic Party, how can someone so loyal to the Party now be pilloried for doing exactly what she was selected to do? If anyone in this campaign has borne the brunt for the failure of the Democratic Party to convince it is her, the primaries were organized to ensure that the Party program would progress as foreseen.

Let's see how long it is until someone at TOP tries to blame it on Bernie Sanders.

Yes, heavy snark, but it's almost getting that bad over there.

For months, it seemed like the day would never come. He had planned, plotted, thought through various scenarios, even considered practicing. The thought of this day's events had taken over his life.

He had to admit that he was a little fixated on the topic. But, when he first heard of it, the thought would not leave his mind. In fact, the thought did nothing but grow. He admitted that as the big day approached, it had an impact on the rest of his life.

Let's pick a serious topic and guess what would be the first thing that Teh Donald would think of in response. Put into words what his honest answer would be if asked a question. For example,

SCIENCE

Q: What is the Big Bang?
A: Have you seen my daughter Ivanka?

Q: What is Quantum Mechanics?
A: They are the jerks who screwed up the tuning on my Rolls. Gonna sue those jerks.

NPR takes a break!

I hope this does not violate the terms of use here, but I face a serious dilemma.

Yesterday, I received an email that shocked me to my core. Honestly, I cannot recall another episode in my 58 revolutions of the flat earth that has affected me so greatly. Being a rather smug, sarcastic, even arrogant person, it was and is my habit to recognize a challenge or serious issue, to rise up, to face it, and to confront it and to deal with it head on, but always on my own.

I feel it necessary to point out that a recent, highly recommended diary was very callous and insulting to the persecuted minority group that I am a member of - closed-minded, intolerant assholes.
According to a recent study, Closed-Minded, Intolerant Asshole Syndrome, or CMIAS, afflicts more than 15% of the population. Famous celebrities such Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson suffer from CMIAS (as well as alcoholism).