The Russians hacked your brain
According to extremely reputable un-named sources, during the spring of 2010, Russian hackers successfully implanted several long dormant mind viruses via the internet. These viruses are completely undetectable, but can be activated with a proper code phrase and visual symbol.
Fortunately, for the United States, communist red caps were not a current fashion trends. They left that to their long time operative, Donald Trump, who deliberately chose the item as a way of thumbing his nose at the foolish capitalists who had made him rich. In Addition, he deliberately chose the Hebrew word for Conflict, hoping that this would cause further conflict by associating his group with the Israel conflict. As you can see this has worked wonders.
The worst part of all is the virus. It will cause the sufferer to have thoughts that they confuse for their own, which will directly contradict the government's story on financial and military issues, as well as identity and sexuality issues. They will actually believe that they see things that didn't happen, and remember events that everyone else knows did not occur. We of course know that these events did not occur, but like any wild rumor, people spread the disease through ignorance. As a result, they will lose faith in the media, the thin grey line between freedom and tyranny, and the ONLY group with the resources able to warn everyone.
If you have been struck with this mind virus, look out for the following symptoms.
1: Belief that The US Military is involved in any wars at all.
-Remember, the US is only involved in UN sanctioned Police Actions! The Russians want you to believe we are in the wrong so they can destroy our way of life!
2. Belief that Americans could have interfered with the election in any way.
- Russians are masters of accusing others of what they themselves are doing. The very fact that they are claiming that physical access somehow makes Americans the more likely culprit means that they did it without every setting foot inside of our elections! Quite brilliant if you think about it.
3. Viewing Homeless on the streets.
- The urban camping trend is quite popular, and embraced along with the tiny house phenomenon. This is a good thing, and the sanitation issues are to be expected in any busy venue. I mean, have you ever BEEN to a rock concert clean up? The vast majority of course, CHOOSE to be on the street, and those that claim differently are trying to hurt America.
4. Having any problems at all with rising crime.
- This isn't happening. Just look at the statistics. They're lower. I don't care if you think the local area has gone to hell and you hear gunshots every night, clearly you're racist. That, unfortunately, you can't blame on the Russians, because we know you are.
5. Thinking that any American official could ever commit a crime.
- Recently the Russian hackers released an updated virus which may cause you to suspect conspiracy. This is a simple paranoia upgrade. The simple truth is that only one American official has committed a crime, and the Russians hacked your brain to think everybody else did it.
The worst part of all is the transmission vector. It has been proven that the virus is encapsulated in a series of words, which when read in order, causes the person reading them to question what they are told. This of course, is manipulation of the basest kind, as they actually use words and phrases that are technically true in order to get you to suspect nefarious intent. This of course causes an lack of in group identification, causing you to feel that those who are looking out for you are in fact NOT on your side! A person so "Convinced" as we term the infected, is highly resistant to cure and often will accuse a person attempting to help them as delusional.
Sadly, there's little we can do for the terminal cases, which is why we must immediately make certain that such questioning of the official story be no longer tolerated in open society, lest some poor fool be subjected to the Russians Nefarious plot.