The Book of Snark, Chapter VI, Verses 1-13

1. Take heed that thou don't let it be known that thou art for a candidate, to be recognized as a supporter: Otherwise thou shall garner no attention from the almighty Media which controleth the conversation.

2. Therefore, when thou doest thine campaigning, do not obvious in thy intentions, as the Hillarites do in the speaking tours and the streets, that they may have fundraisers. Verily I say unto you, they have their fees.

I want to ask you a question. Deep down, don't you really want Money to win this election?

Because if Money wins this election, there's a chance that Money might come your way. Money might change your life! Think about all of those problems in your life. Money can make them go away. People say that there are things that are impossible, but with Money, anything is possible. And if they aren't possible, Money can find the people who will make them possible.

In this upcoming election, Nobody is the best candidate we have.

As we know, these are trying times. We look around at the wars, at the the chaos and the destruction that our empire wreaks upon the planet. I know you're concerned. We are all concerned. And Nobody will take responsibility as president.

In the time of Magic, there was a marvelous land far across the great sea. Some say this land had survived many previous cycles of magic, and had remained untouched as the great empires of the world waxed, shone and waned.

Cascadia National University Lecture Hall, February 2518

Good morning. Please use the handrails installed on the side of the stairs, use every step on your way to your seats and ensure that you do not encroach on the space of your neighbor. I want to warn you that this lecture may contain information you are not comfortable hearing, and therefore if you have any special concerns please address them now.

Cascadian National University, Lecture Hall, January 2518

Hey folks, can somebody grab the boxes at the back and bring them up? Much as this old professor would like to handle the heavy lifting, there are certain things that youth is better suited for.

Cascadia National University, Lecture Hall, January 2518

So, today we're going to delve a little more into the Fall of the American Empire, because when one talks about how an empire falls, it can be easy to ignore the forest for the trees. Even that phrase had less connotations to an American than it does to us, for example.

Cascadia Lecture Hall, January, 2518

Morning folks. Sorry about the temporary hiatus. Unfortunately Family issues became extremely important, and as everybody knows, if your own house isn't in order, you really can't do anything out and about in the world. Now that things have calmed down a bit, we can get back to the subject which everybody's been waiting for quite patiently.

So, today we'll discuss Trump The Mad.

(A Small Sketch)

Carl: Hi Mary, Great to see you! How are you Doing today!

Mary: Actually Carl, I've decided that I'm not going to be talking to you for a while.

Carl: Ok, I don't think it's a good idea for you to quit therapy at this time, but would you mind explaining?

Mary: I don't see why I should listen to somebody who's been lying to me.

Carl: What do you mean?