Nobody deserves your support for President.
In this upcoming election, Nobody is the best candidate we have.
As we know, these are trying times. We look around at the wars, at the the chaos and the destruction that our empire wreaks upon the planet. I know you're concerned. We are all concerned. And Nobody will take responsibility as president.
As President, Nobody will immediately end the wars. Nobody will hold corporations to account, and ensure that the people responsible cannot hide behind layers of laws and regulation. Nobody will ensure that Corporations do not select the next Cabinet, and nobody will protect our bill of rights by ensuring that proper balance is brought to the supreme court.
Nobody cares about Flint. Nobody cares about the pipelines. Nobody cares about the protests that the media ensures us are only isolated incidents. Nobody worries about Police militarization very much. Nobody cares that Journalists are arrested in secret trials and held in secret sites.
Nobody really cares about special interest groups. Nobody takes the time to think of them as something more than a voting block with a nice bank account to be plundered. Nobody thinks that the American elections need top to bottom reform, and that we should suspend all elections until we have a verified, open and free election system.
In closing, let me assure you that Nobody is a perfect candidate. We can safely demand purity tests because Nobody will pass them with flying colors. Nobody has taken the positions that need to be taken to save the planet, and therefore we should absolutely vote for Nobody.