A little bit of a Good Bye ... not totally, but somewhat ...

To all the good people here at C99, the music lovers and political wounded hearts, I just wanted to apologize for what I am going to say, because it has nothing to do with all of you at all. or with what any of you stand for (if I even really would understand it).

I admit to my little miserable weakness of not dealing with my life the way I would have wanted to, anticipated it before or had hoped for. There is a lot to "get over with" in there. And I am not doing well at it. There is a lot of "having failed" in there as well. So, I want to retreat.

I feel that I continue here with the same attitude that I tried to leave behind at the gos. Venting and wanting to be a participant, who likes to be nice and polite and tries at the level best to encourage or comment with what is on my mind. But it seldom feels to me it is what I wanted it to be or express. And then I feel pretty lost. And often I feel so discouraged and disappointed, sometimes even angry. I feel I should shut down and just be a reader and lurker. I just need it to get better and heal and try to have an outlook and something to live for. I need to be alone and be off.

So, my thanks to all of you for the great work you are doing and for the many warm comments you made to me. I feel shame and apologetic for being "less here" in the future and hope you don't count it against me. I can't be more than I am right now and that is just very, very little.

Good Night to all and peace for you. And yes, I hope for a revolution and a movement and for a better, more social, more equal and more just America. Those. who I see fight for it. will always have my back in spirit. In that sense, so long, my friends, heh, comrades we may be. Let's meet again. We shall.


[video:https://youtu.be/szYrXzEi0cg]


"Almost Like The Blues"

I saw some people starving
There was murder, there was rape
Their villages were burning
They were trying to escape
I couldn't meet their glances
I was staring at my shoes
It was acid, it was tragic
It was almost like the blues

I have to die a little
Between each murderous thought
And when I'm finished thinking
I have to die a lot
There's torture and there's killing
And there's all my bad reviews
The war, the children missing
Lord, it's almost like the blues

So I let my heart get frozen
To keep away the rot
My father said I'm chosen
My mother said I'm not
I listened to their story
Of the Gypsies and the Jews
It was good, it wasn't boring
It was almost like the blues

There is no G-d in Heaven
And there is no Hell below
So says the great professor
Of all there is to know
But I've had the invitation
That a sinner can't refuse
And it's almost like salvation
It's almost like the blues.

[video:https://youtu.be/lwcJQIyNZQM]


"You Got Me Singing"

You got me singing
Even tho’ the news is bad
You got me singing
The only song I ever had

You got me singing
Ever since the river died
You got me thinking
Of the places we could hide

You got me singing
Even though the world is gone
You got me thinking
I’d like to carry on

You got me singing
Even tho’ it all looks grim
You got me singing
The Hallelujah hymn

You got me singing
Like a prisoner in a jail
You got me singing
Like my pardon’s in the mail

You got me wishing
Our little love would last
You got me thinking
Like those people of the past


[video:https://youtu.be/LXvG0SMP7tw]


"Waiting For The Miracle"

Baby, I've been waiting,
I've been waiting night and day.
I didn't see the time,
I waited half my life away.
There were lots of invitations
and I know you sent me some,
but I was waiting
for the miracle, for the miracle to come.
I know you really loved me.
but, you see, my hands were tied.
I know it must have hurt you,
it must have hurt your pride
to have to stand beneath my window
with your bugle and your drum,
and me I'm up there waiting
for the miracle, for the miracle to come.

Ah I don't believe you'd like it,
You wouldn't like it here.
There ain't no entertainment
and the judgements are severe.
The Maestro says it's Mozart
but it sounds like bubble gum
when you're waiting
for the miracle, for the miracle to come.

Waiting for the miracle
There's nothing left to do.
I haven't been this happy
since the end of World War II.

Nothing left to do
when you know that you've been taken.
Nothing left to do
when you're begging for a crumb
Nothing left to do
when you've got to go on waiting
waiting for the miracle to come.

I dreamed about you, baby.
It was just the other night.
Most of you was naked
Ah but some of you was light.
The sands of time were falling
from your fingers and your thumb,
and you were waiting
for the miracle, for the miracle to come

Ah baby, let's get married,
we've been alone too long.
Let's be alone together.
Let's see if we're that strong.
Yeah let's do something crazy,
something absolutely wrong
while we're waiting
for the miracle, for the miracle to come.

Nothing left to do ...

When you've fallen on the highway
and you're lying in the rain,
and they ask you how you're doing
of course you'll say you can't complain --
If you're squeezed for information,
that's when you've got to play it dumb:
You just say you're out there waiting
for the miracle, for the miracle to come.

[video:https://youtu.be/N3HbrfV0hJM]


Nevermind
Leonard Cohen
The war was lost
The treaty signed
I was not caught
I crossed the line
I was not caught
Though many tried
I live among you
Well disguised
I had to leave
My life behind
I dug some graves
You'll never find
The story's told
With facts and lies
I have a name
But nevermind
Nevermind
Nevermind
The war was lost
The treaty signed
There's truth that lives
And truth that dies
I don't know which
So nevermind
Your victory
Was so complete
Some among you
Thought to keep
A record of
Our little lives
The clothes we wore
Our spoons, our knives
The games of luck
Our soldiers played
The stones we cut
The songs we made
Our law of peace
Which understands
A husband leads
A wife commands
And all of this
Expressions of
The sweet indifference
Some call love
The high indifference
Some call fate

[video:https://youtu.be/Ld12ZCA5HGw]
(1988 in Germany)
[video:https://youtu.be/i5TzsPioXQA]
(I think around 2012 in London)


"First We Take Manhattan"

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
For trying to change the system from within
I'm coming now, I'm coming to reward them
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin
I'm guided by a signal in the heavens
I'm guided by this birthmark on my skin
I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I'd really like to live beside you, baby
I love your body and your spirit and your clothes
But you see that line there moving through the station?
I told you, I told you, told you, I was one of those

Ah you loved me as a loser, but now you're worried that I just might win
You know the way to stop me, but you don't have the discipline
How many nights I prayed for this, to let my work begin
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I don't like your fashion business mister
And I don't like these drugs that keep you thin
I don't like what happened to my sister
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I'd really like to live beside you, baby ...

And I thank you for those items that you sent me
The monkey and the plywood violin
I practiced every night, now I'm ready
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I am guided

Ah remember me, I used to live for music
Remember me, I brought your groceries in
Well it's Father's Day and everybody's wounded
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

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Comments

my favorite commentator, I hope not for
too terribly long.

You have contributed so much to this
site, mimi. Please know that your efforts
- all of them - have been greatly
appreciated by this ever-lurking, seldom-
commenting fellow c99 member, who
missed a proper calling as a philologist
and therefore appreciated your linguistic
efforts all the more.

I do understand your need to retreat.
May it be restorative in all the ways you
need.

My best to you, always.

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Only connect. - E.M. Forster

And wish you whatever is best for you. Hopefully you'll be back soon.
dk

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"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

we'll be here when you have recharged your battery and decide to engage again. We will miss you.

I would disappear for weeks, sometimes months at a time from blogging back before I started doing the weekend edition of the Evening Blues at DKos, after that I could only disappear for a week at a time, and even that was difficult. One of the drawbacks for me after starting this site is I can't disengage like I used to, although some of you may have noticed that I've been commenting less than usual lately. I'm still ever present in the background, I just cut back a bit from participating, that's how I cope. It has nothing to do with the site, anybody or anything here, it's just me, it's how I am. I'm glad mimi has brought this up so I have an opportunity to explain in case anyone is wondering about my lack of presence. And on top of all that I'm doing a lot of gearing up in the background for the site upgrade that will happen as soon as enough of the bugs are worked out of the new Drupal software version.

Mimi, it really is a good thing to take a break for a while. See you when you get back.

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mimi's picture

think more and if I am silent that it doesn't mean I will not read here or am gone. I guess I will always read "in the background" and be here in the shadows of the hinterland. Smile

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NCTim's picture

You are among friends and we all struggle with civility.

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The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -

gulfgal98's picture

I am so sorry to see you leave and pray that it will only be temporary. We all need time off to recharge our batteries and hopefully your time away will help you find what you are looking for within yourself.

I am going to miss your comments and opinions, which were so far more insightful than I could ever write. So please take good care of yourself, my friend. And I hope we will see you back here in the near future. Give rose Nancy

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

shaharazade's picture

we all will. You can loose your essential self on the internet. It burns your time, eats your brain and is addictive. I'm glad for you that you are going to pull back and empty your cache or cookies what ever those are. Seems sane and healthy to me. So bon voyage and into the blue you go. I wish you the best. See you around the ink well if and when your ready. Your plenty polite and nice, one of the nicest around.

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lotlizard's picture

möge die Sonne von “Aloha” dein Herz immer wärmen und trösten. Und, auf dem Meer des Lebens welche Inselkette auch immer du ansteuerst, möge der Passatwind das Segel deines Geistes immer mit guten Gedanken und Gefühlen füllen.

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Unabashed Liberal's picture

here. For that matter, I note your absence if it's just for one day. And, somehow, it's a bit less interesting on the days that you don't drop in.

Wink

I'm sure that Everyone will miss your perspective on many issues. I consider this Community to be really fortunate to have you, and several other bloggers, who have international perspectives/background. IMO, it truly benefits us all.

After you get the break that you need, I hope that you decide to come back.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Correction to my previous comment:

I was a bit pushed the other day, and inadvertently picked up the wrong WordPress blog, with almost identical names. Heck, the blog that I initially linked to isn't even active. The correct OBT blog has a daily post, without fail.

Here's the link to "My OBT," Byline: My daily quest for one beautiful thing.

Some of this diarist's posts are really incredibly unique. Most are very entertaining. And, more importantly, most of her posts are very 'positive.'

Again, my apologies for incredibly sloppy commenting.

Blush

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(This part is correct.) Long story short, when the blogmaster/hostess was in counseling during a very stressful period of her life, her therapist tasked her with finding, and focusing on, 'one thing that made her smile'--everyday.

She reliably presents a very interesting mix of posts. When I have commented at her blog, she is always very gracious. I go there when I'm weary of all of the contentiousness of this Primary season, and even when that's not a factor. True to her billing--her posts often make me smile.

Best to you . . . Give rose

Mollie
elinkarlsson@WordPress


"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."--Will Rogers
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Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.

mimi's picture

for being an addict and already be back ...:-) ... at least just to post this one link.

I made once a comment here that I would be very disappointed if Sanders, in case he loses the primaries, would endorse Clinton and advise his voters to vote for the HRC democratic ticket. Apparently that is so died in the wool for Democrats to vote always for a Democrat no matter what, even if it's as bad as anything else.

I ran into this interview of Robert Scheer with Ralph Nader, and I think Ralph Nader spoke sense. He thinks the answer Sanders gave to a question:

So, what’s going on, Ralph? I know you probably favor Bernie Sanders, but he’s also agreed to support whoever the candidate is of the party; is this a dead end? Is this meaningful? What’s the answer?

Ralph Nader: Well, that was a mistake he made, when he was asked, you know, about the middle of 2015, or maybe in the spring, ‘Will you support the Democratic nominee?’ And he said ‘I always do.’ Well, he should have said it depends who it is.

I would even go further than that. Sanders should not endorse the Democratic candidate, if it's Clinton. He should go back to being an independent and rally the movement, he started to build outside of the two party system. As you all know much more about the history of "Third Party spoilers" and Ralph Nader I wanted to post this link here.

Thank you, Molly, I don't understand exactly what you meant with your "apology for incredibly sloppy commenting" I didn't see any of that. So my apologies for not being able to follow you on that apology... Smile I learn from all your comments.

I am sitting in my snowed in home and feel lucky and happy to have electricity and enjoy the silence the snow covers us with. So, I slept very, very long hours and doing nothing but reading. I feel good. I think its around 18 inches here, but nowhere a dangerous blizzard storm. The snow came down slowly and there were no thunderous lightning and storm. I am amused how the media have a hard time to convince everybody that "we are in a state of emergency" here in DC. May be somewhere else, but not here. I would say it's a beautiful snowy day. But as Ralph Nader said as well in above interview.

Washington is corporate occupied territory.

That's why we have state of emergencies whenever the corporate media overlords say so.

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joe shikspack's picture

i hope that you are able to quickly come to terms with whatever you are wrestling with. if you find that wrestling alone is less appealing than you thought, we'll be here. as far as i can tell, all of us are thrashing it out with something and the company here is excellent.

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mimi's picture

and I have a hard time to not log in and at least thumb up everybody and at times say how much I like the writers here. Thank you for the welcome here.

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Shahryar's picture

come back whenever you want to. If you change your mind and return tonight, so much the better!

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enhydra lutris's picture

You will be missed when absent, but don't eel pressured by that. Do what you have to.

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

smiley7's picture

love you. For years now, we've been friends searching in space for similar truths;
often finding them,
beyond the ordinarily.

The meaning of value seeping
through,

gliding us on the snow of bursting impulses.

Let it be so and relax.

Love, j

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