Inspired by Bernie today... so I decided that it would be fun to think about the political parties and their various characteristics. I finally realized that they all have effects and general ways they make people react. Yes, they affect some people differently than others, but in the end, they all aim to alter your behavior and outlook.

The Political Parties and Persons are DRUGS. And it's pretty obvious which ones they are when you think about it.

The Republicans are, of course, ALCOHOL. They've been around a long time, society says they're one of the only drugs we can enjoy as adults with corporate blessing, and they claim membership in sacred spaces. On the other hand, the also tend to make you angry or sad. Republicans also make you think you're better than you are, in fact, you're a potential MILLIONAIRE! They encourage stupid risks, like taking on that little punk Iraq! You can kick his ash... But itsh Cool, I uh... hic... Am BETTER when Im... Campaigning. In fact, hic... burp... scuse me... Nobody can even tell when I'm enjoying my party at work! Heck, everybody I know is Republican... And if they don't have a problem... And their theme is of course:

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPCjC543llU]

Trump is COCAINE. Really only became a thing last couple Centuries, and has been derided for a LONG time as the kind of thing that nobody should ever indulge in, while Corporate Slime can't resist lapping you up. Course they'll deny it if ever caught in public, but the effects are everywhere, and you know it. For some reason, when you start Trump you can't just be into him a LITTLE. However good you think you look on Trump it's gonna catch up to you sooner or later, but that's not really an issue for you NOW, even though we've seen the wreckage that your candidacy will bring. And your theme song isn't what you think it is. You think it's Eric Clapton's Cocaine. It's not. It's this one:

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L53gjP-TtGE]

The Democrats are, of course, TOBACCO. They've also been around a long time, society used to say they're one of the only drugs that you can enjoy as an adult with corporate blessing, and they wouldn't dare intrude on sacred spaces. They tend to kill your appetite for things you wanted to do before, and are something you feel more like is an obligation. Course, it's turning out they weren't as good as you kept telling yourself for years. However, you had consoled yourself with the idea that it wasn't as bad as Republican. Heck, to get off of Republican you often chain vote Democrat. Sometimes with a little bit of Bernie, but not too much because if you spend too much time with Bernie, you feel the urge to get the urge to do stuff. And Lord knows if you do stuff you're gonna feel the urge to go out and spend time with the Republicans again. It's not your fault nobody seems to like you anymore, just because you weren't as good as you said you were a while back... You'll console yourself with your theme song:

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpzbMLDliyI]

Bernie Is CAFFEINE. A bit more Recent than the other two, but Society is surprisingly cool with people voting for you until EVERYBODY does it, mainly because Corporate Slime can't seem to bring themselves to bless you. They'll resist you as long as they can, even suggesting large doses of Bernie is detrimental. Often not part of Sacred Spaces, but always a significant part of the social gathering afterwords. You are energizing folks seriously, making them much more aware of the things going on the world and what we can do to fix it. Often you get things done faster and more focused. Lots of "Adults" seem to think you're just for kids, but they're ignoring the break room at their office. The real problem is sometimes your thoughts are coming so fast that those who aren't also enjoying Bernie just don't understand what's going on. And they think you are just freaking WEIRD when you are just making sense.

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKKyb1RqZK4]

Greens are CANNABIS. Been around forever, but not really unified in philosophy and direction till recently. Most of Society is still biased against you, but you're making inroads. Admittedly, you're a little less energetic than these fly by night recent mass movements, but you're not about that. You're about having a good time and making things better. Often looked back as the worst of all things by the main political parties, but that's only because they know that if your ideas got out there the big two would just lose a lot of their power, that's all. You're really popular on college campuses and music festivals. Almost everybody has tried you at some time in their lives, just not stuck with you because of societal pressure. And that's cool, man... Just keep in mind that people are dying because of the other folks but you never killed anybody... like ever, man...

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8AuMOGx_KY]

Libertarians are PEYOTE. Consider Themselves sacred and part of an old tradition, when they really didn't show any interest in Native American style till they found out Peyote was part of it. And anyway you don't call yourself that now, you picked a BETTER name which is Mescaline now, thank you very much! You often see things that other people don't with regards to economics, and are convinced that if everybody just tried Mescaline once the world would be much more enlightened and we could get to REALLY know ourselves as a species. First things first though, we need to take off all these burdening regulations we've been wearing all this time. They're infested with BUGS! AAHHH! And hey, what's the worst can happen if everybody does whatever they WANT TO!

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1tj2zJ2Wvg]

Pirates are LSD. YAAAAAR!!!! Give me the Intellectual Property and nobody gets hurt! DOWN with the controlled flow of information and their puppet legislaters! Shiver me TIMBERS!

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbRHTmVr9bQ]