"I wish I could go in"

I knew I'd lost my chance. It was 7:44 am and I knew that the venue where Bernie Sanders was holding a town hall event today in my city had opened at seven to allow people to enter. I had meant to get up at 5:00 am, but I'd had a rough night. Pain in my shoulder, pain in my left hip, pain in my neck. The kind of pain that keeps you awake, that doesn't give you a moment's peace. Pain that was worse than usual for me, and a sure sign that my autoimmune symptoms had flared up. I eased myself out of bed, and saw that my abdomen was distended, and I felt chills. More signs that a my illness had taken a wrong turn overnight. So, what did I do?

I went downstairs, took 50 mg of Prednisone ( corticosteroid) to alleviate the onset of my illness, got in my car and started of to make the twelve mile drive to the place where Bernie Sanders was going to speak in my city this morning. I know, a pretty a quixotic stunt on my part (or a stupid one, to be perfectly blunt). Though the day was cold and raw, I brought with me no hat, no gloves, no windbreaker - real smart there, Steven. The local NPR radio station reported traffic was backed up all along the roads that led to Sanders' venue. Thousands of people were already there, the news reader said. I turned the radio off and kept driving anyway. It was a fool's errand, a fool's hope, but I went anyway.

Just off the highway, at the exit that led to the campus of the local community college, I could see crowds of people lined up to get into the building where, even as I type this now, Bernie's town hall event has started. I should have turned around and driven back home right then and there. I reminded myself that the doors had opened at 7:00 am, and those people in line probably weren't going to get in either. But, I thought to myself, maybe Bernie would speak to the people outside on this raw, April morning, before the main event. Maybe I still had a chance to see him.

So, I didn't turn around. I got in the line of cars that, moving at a snail's pace, led to the the entrance to the campus, and then to campus parking lots made available for everyone who was coming to see Bernie. After another twenty minutes, I finally got in and found a place to park, though it was at least a half mile away from where I need to be, if not more. More fool I, I got out of my car and took off toward where I still hoped to see Bernie. I walked as fast as my 59 year old legs allowed. With every step I took on the wet, muddy lawn that lay between me and my goal, A sharp pain shot through my hip. Yeah, I'm an idiot, remember?

All around me were groups of strangers, people like me, and not so much like me, all of us hoping against hope for a miracle. Hoping that we weren't too late, but knowing we probably were. A father with two young daughters, ages nine and ten. A group of young men and women, talking and laughing together, perhaps students. Old people (older than me, in any case). Couples, and single individuals alone by themselves, all marching into a bright morning sun, the glare of which burst straight into my retinas, half-blinding me. People in front of me and people behind me. I wasn't the only idiot, fool, dreamer, what have you.

My face became numb from the cold breeze in my face. I pulled my hands inside the sleeves of my fleece to warm them up. But I didn't stop. Not until I reached the entrance to the parking lot of the venue, a "2,500-seat, 170,000-square-foot non-profit indoor athletics facility" located in the far southeast corner of the Monroe Community College campus. And there she was, a young female police officer. I could tell by the look on her face she had bad news to tell us.

"They're not letting anyone else in," she said. "See that line?" She pointed at the hundreds, maybe a thousand or more, people standing in the parking lot of the complex. "It's been like that since 7:30 this morning."

I asked her if we couldn't go in anyway, and she pointed down the road to where some bleachers stood along the west side of the building. A group of Bernie supporters were mingling around there, also stopped in front of another police officer. No one was sitting in the bleachers.

"I don't think so," she said. "No one else is getting in."And then she smiled at me, a sweet, wistful smile that you rarely see on a police officer, but one I see all the time on my own twenty year old daughter and her twenty-something friends. A very human gesture.

"I wish I could go in," she said.

I smiled at her when she said that, and thanked her. And then I began the long trudge back to my car. Funny thing is, I didn't feel the least bit sad that I missed my chance to see Bernie Sanders in the flesh, even as I climbed back into my car, pulled out of the parking lot, and drove home. And even though I didn't get what came for, what I'd hoped to receive, the sight of Bernie speaking to an enthusiastic crowd of thousands of like-minded people, many of whom believe in the movement he helped ignite, and to which he has given a voice, I realized I had no regrets.

I still don't.

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boriscleto's picture

He would have had a bigger crowd than Luke Bryan did the other day...

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" In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry, and is generally considered to have been a bad move. -- Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy "

Steven D's picture

is in Syracuse, not where I live.

And he will appear there later today.

I also expect the carrier dome and the cost of security for an event there would have been extremely high.

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

boriscleto's picture

But it is centrally located. And Bernie could have drawn crowds from all over CNY and WNY. If there are thousands of people from Syracuse who will drive to Buffalo 8 times a year to watch a crappy team like the Bills...

The Oncenter can hold 5000 people. The Dome could hold 10 times that. The line in Buffalo yesterday was said to be several miles long...

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" In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry, and is generally considered to have been a bad move. -- Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy "

Steven D's picture

it makes a difference.

And as I said, the Carrier Dome likely comes at a very high price.

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

boriscleto's picture

It's a nightmare location downtown. If it had been at SRC Arena out at OCC I might have gone. SRC holds 1500 more people too.

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" In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry, and is generally considered to have been a bad move. -- Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy "

Steven D's picture

But who knows?

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

MsGrin's picture

or at least that's how it happened in Austin.

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'What we are left with is an agency mandated to ensure transparency and disclosure that is actually working to keep the public in the dark' - Ann M. Ravel, former FEC member

What a sweet and worthy story, and with a perfect twist at the end. Maybe its because I can completely relate to how this one man has taken over my own life too? That we are collectively forgoing the aches and pains of our daily lives because his vision, our vision, is more important than our individual struggle? Boy, do I like that kind of medicine, and good morning from Northern California!

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Steven D's picture

it just didn't go acceding to my plan. Wink

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

Bisbonian's picture

You just made my whole morning.

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"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X

Lookout's picture

Not quite as good as being there, but a nice substitute.

I'm hoping we all get more opportunities to see and hear Bernie. Wouldn't it be great to go to the inauguration of President Sanders?

Take care of yourself and heal!

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

elenacarlena's picture

do something drastic and find a way to go. What a historic moment that would be.

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Please check out Pet Vet Help, consider joining us to help pets, and follow me @ElenaCarlena on Twitter! Thank you.

Damnit Janet's picture

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"Love One Another" ~ George Harrison

Steven D's picture

Ditto!

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

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Euterpe2

Christine.MI's picture

Appreciate your diaries so much!

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WoodsDweller's picture

in two years there will be dozens of grassroots-powered small-donation-funded Democratic Socialist candidates up and down the ticket holding rallies. In four years there will be hundreds. In the spring, the ice on the lakes seems like it will be there forever, yet overnight it is gone. So it will be with the old political order. Nothing will stop the spring.

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"The greatest shortcoming of the human race is our inability to understand the exponential function." -- Albert Bartlett
"A species that is hurtling toward extinction has no business promoting slow incremental change." -- Caitlin Johnstone

hester's picture

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Don't believe everything you think.

orlbucfan's picture


Burn••Bernster**Burn!!

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Inner and Outer Space: the Final Frontiers.

a great story! but now lie down and take care of yourself, you've done so much for the cause!

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Gandalf and Saruman unite, demand to bring back Greywolfe359!

and thought you were talking to Hillary Clinton. Biggrin

Agree though -- Steven, you need to be healthy to vote for Bernie in the primary and in November! Take care of your health please!

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Steven D's picture

But hopefully that inspired one person to do a lot more than I do.

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

Granma's picture

Steven so you can feel much better.

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Kurt from CMH's picture

trying to see Sen. Sanders at Value City Arena here in Columbus. I waited 3 hours in line that seemed to move ever so slowly. Finally, I was able to get in to see the last 30 minutes of him speaking. I was glad to be there. Bernie has motivated his supporters to turn out for him. 7,000 people eventually got in to see him speak. Probably a few thousand others, including some friends of mine, did not get in. One friend had foot problems and couldn't stand in line. At the door where we all entered, there were a grand total of 2 lines staffed by Secret Service agents. We had to empty our pockets and send all change and cell phones outside of metal detectors. This is why it takes so long to get in-- the Secret Service doesn't staff up for campaign rallies.

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For at least another hundred years we must pretend to ourselves and to everyone that fair is foul and foul is fair; for foul is useful and fair is not. Avarice and usury and precaution must be our gods for a little longer still.
John Maynard Keynes, 1930

mjsmeme's picture

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You could have stuck around, as Bernie always gives a short speech to the overflow crowd before he goes in to the main event. But then you would have been way too cold. Wishing you better luck next time!

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Steven D's picture

I got what I came for.

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

Bisbonian's picture

Well told.

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"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X

MsGrin's picture

in and of itself.

Sorry it did not happen that you got in.
Hoping you feel better as the day progresses.

It was a bit surreal for me to see him in February. We had nearly no notice (16 hours). The venue was about 10 miles outside of town in a new facility which is pretty much on unmarked and un-lit roads. My GPS is over a decade old, so getting out there after work the night ahead to be part of the volunteer training was challenging for me.

I was allowed to volunteer, and I helped get other folks with physical challenges get to chairs - satisfying and very taxing for me, ultimately. The sun was intense, which made it more stressful for my body. I was tired by the time he got on stage. But his talk had changed a bit, so it was very satisfying to be there to hear it in the flesh. That day was the first time I heard "Love trumps hate!" If we have the two of them in the fall, I want the t-shirt.

I'm sorry you weren't in the doors, Steven. And I'm so sorry you were hurting. May an unexpected blessing arise to brighten your day...

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'What we are left with is an agency mandated to ensure transparency and disclosure that is actually working to keep the public in the dark' - Ann M. Ravel, former FEC member

riverlover's picture

and trying to get to the Oncenter in Syracuse with parking problems, meh. But we were within miles of him, you closer. It feels different to just have a national candidate show up in NY except the City. Like we matter.

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

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"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." - Groucho

Bob Phillips's picture

Beautiful thoughts. Take care of yourself.

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Danger_Will Robinson_Danger's picture

Had a (somewhat) similar experience myself. I am a (rather) "mature student" at Temple University in Philadelphia, and I'd heard that Bernie was coming to speak on campus. I was positively aquiver with anticipation until I learned that bags would be allowed in the auditorium. Being that I would be coming straight from class, I would have to find somewhere to stash my book bag. Although that was a challenging prospect, my hopes were not yet completely flat-lined. But it was when I learned that chairs wouldn't be allowed that I understood it was impossible. My body is riddled with osteoarthritis. Neck. Spine. Knees. Feet... I am simply not capable of waiting in line to get inside - perhaps for hours - while standing. The pain would just be too much. I had to let this opportunity pass me by.

So I missed out on the rally. And that's a disappointment. But I did not miss the frisson of excitement that made its way across campus, both before and after Bernie was there. Echoing snippets of conversations ending in "Feel the Bern!" bounced around me all day. A number of faculty were seen slipping out of their offices early so they could be a part of the event. Buttons and tshirts blossomed on bodies and/or book bags all over campus. Most of them pro Bernie, a few pro Hillary. I was inside a hive of about 30,000 millennials who were engaged. I could almost smell the hope wafting off of them.

So, although I didn't get inside to see Bernie either, I too came away with a smile on my face. It was a good day. A very good day.

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"...the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse." Walt Whitman