Working at home for the past few weeks and being here 24/7 has made me realize something. My dog is incredibly lazy. He spends most of his day napping! He’s also really ineffective at the jobs he does try to do.

Like guarding the house, for example. Man, he takes this job *very* seriously (when he’s awake). He raises the roof if he spots anything out of line. Like, you know, other people walking to the corner to collect their mail. Especially if they bring along a DOG. This is clearly an outrage that cannot be tolerated. Same with hot air balloons floating overhead. That cannot happen. My dog runs in circles and barks as loud as he can about these issues. Eventually, the neighbors return to their homes and the hot air balloon leaves our sky. He is content with his job well done! It’s time for a treat, and then another nap. Nothing really gets accomplished.

See what I mean? He does nothing about the important things. Nothing! There are dishes that need to be washed. Right now. There is laundry that needs washing and folding. There are weeds to be pulled. The bathroom could use cleaning. I’m just saying. I can’t do those things! I’m working! Duh. But what is he doing? Napping! Waking up only to run about making a fuss, then wanting to be rewarded, then back to napping again. He’s a real Do-Nothing Dog.

Now I’ve been thinking, if my dog would start doing his share around here, life would be a lot better. Here’s what he should be doing! First, each day he should make his own breakfast, and no cheating like putting extra gravy on it or anything like that. Just the regular breakfast. Then he should log onto my work computer and clock me in for the day, then check and respond to any emails that need to be acknowledged. This way, I could sleep in even longer. He should wake me *only* if there’s something that must be taken care of.

While I’m sleeping in, he should be getting the kitchen cleaned up. First thing would be wash the dishes and clean the kitchen so the sink and counters are all nice when I get up for my cup of tea. Which he should, of course, have waiting for me. Some fresh cut flowers would be a nice touch. Then he can get to doing the yard work and household chores. He should definitely learn to scoop his own poop and put it into the trash! This is just common sense.

Oh well. My husband reminds me that our dog lacks the requisite opposable thumbs, and has a lemon brain. He’s very good at what he does though. He’s a great guard dog if you hate people getting their mail or floating around in large balloons right over your house. And who doesn’t hate that? He’s also fun to pet. That’s actually in his job description: Pet. He’s very good at cuddling, even if he does try to take over the entire pillow section on the bed as his personal domain. He’s far from perfect, but he’s still my best buddy. I cannot imagine getting through these days without him. And I sincerely want to be here for him, by his side and taking care for him. Together, we will face down the hot air balloons and other nonsensical things that life throws at us.

If and when I return to “normal” and go back to fighting traffic every morning and spending my days in front of a computer somewhere else, instead of here in my kitchen, I am going to really miss this.