A View From My Window

Working at home for the past few weeks and being here 24/7 has made me realize something. My dog is incredibly lazy. He spends most of his day napping! He’s also really ineffective at the jobs he does try to do.

Like guarding the house, for example. Man, he takes this job *very* seriously (when he’s awake). He raises the roof if he spots anything out of line. Like, you know, other people walking to the corner to collect their mail. Especially if they bring along a DOG. This is clearly an outrage that cannot be tolerated. Same with hot air balloons floating overhead. That cannot happen. My dog runs in circles and barks as loud as he can about these issues. Eventually, the neighbors return to their homes and the hot air balloon leaves our sky. He is content with his job well done! It’s time for a treat, and then another nap. Nothing really gets accomplished.

See what I mean? He does nothing about the important things. Nothing! There are dishes that need to be washed. Right now. There is laundry that needs washing and folding. There are weeds to be pulled. The bathroom could use cleaning. I’m just saying. I can’t do those things! I’m working! Duh. But what is he doing? Napping! Waking up only to run about making a fuss, then wanting to be rewarded, then back to napping again. He’s a real Do-Nothing Dog.

Now I’ve been thinking, if my dog would start doing his share around here, life would be a lot better. Here’s what he should be doing! First, each day he should make his own breakfast, and no cheating like putting extra gravy on it or anything like that. Just the regular breakfast. Then he should log onto my work computer and clock me in for the day, then check and respond to any emails that need to be acknowledged. This way, I could sleep in even longer. He should wake me *only* if there’s something that must be taken care of.

While I’m sleeping in, he should be getting the kitchen cleaned up. First thing would be wash the dishes and clean the kitchen so the sink and counters are all nice when I get up for my cup of tea. Which he should, of course, have waiting for me. Some fresh cut flowers would be a nice touch. Then he can get to doing the yard work and household chores. He should definitely learn to scoop his own poop and put it into the trash! This is just common sense.

Oh well. My husband reminds me that our dog lacks the requisite opposable thumbs, and has a lemon brain. He’s very good at what he does though. He’s a great guard dog if you hate people getting their mail or floating around in large balloons right over your house. And who doesn’t hate that? He’s also fun to pet. That’s actually in his job description: Pet. He’s very good at cuddling, even if he does try to take over the entire pillow section on the bed as his personal domain. He’s far from perfect, but he’s still my best buddy. I cannot imagine getting through these days without him. And I sincerely want to be here for him, by his side and taking care for him. Together, we will face down the hot air balloons and other nonsensical things that life throws at us.

If and when I return to “normal” and go back to fighting traffic every morning and spending my days in front of a computer somewhere else, instead of here in my kitchen, I am going to really miss this.

Share
up
33 users have voted.

Comments

CS in AZ's picture

With no advance notice to wash my hair. Unbelievable!

I’ll check back when I can! Thanks for letting me play a bit. These days are weird.

up
23 users have voted.
enhydra lutris's picture

@CS in AZ

be well and have a good one.

up
7 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

enhydra lutris's picture

decide to sleep or even just nap our n the yard, don't blame the dog a bit. Fun piece, thanks.

up
9 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

The dog, I mean.

up
12 users have voted.

We are so screwed.

gulfgal98's picture

I have three dogs, including our newest dog who came to us as an owner surrender one year ago. He is a pomeranian on the larger side (15lbs). He is also our third pom so I know what to expect from them.

Pomeranians are the little Napoleons of the dog world. They are fearless. They have very acute hearing too. No sound escapes his ears which causes him to bark at the slightest noise outside. We now believe that is the reason his previous owner had to get rid of him. She lived in a condo. Need I say more? Anyway, they say if you want a good guard dog, get a dog that barks. We have a fabulous guard dog now.

up
16 users have voted.

"I don't want to run the empire, I want to bring it down!" ~Dr. Cornel West

Lily O Lady's picture

lick all your dishes clean. And he does floors too. I mean when he smells a particularly yummy smell he just can help but lick the floor, especially over by the stove. And he’d love to join in with your dog to bay at whatever annoyance happens by. He has the most incredible baying vocalizations. Arooooooooo!

He’s not the dog who is my avitar. That’s our primary dog given us by our daughter. Our secondary dog is actually our daughter’s dog who came to stay with us when she and her husband moved to Japan. They’re back now, but with them and our granddaughter crammed into a small condo he’d just be too much, especially when he has to hoooooowlllllll.

up
13 users have voted.

"The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?" ~Orwell, "1984"

mhagle's picture

I have 5 dogs so I get it.

Thank you!

up
11 users have voted.

Marilyn

"Make dirt, not war." eyo

Raggedy Ann's picture

meeting recently. The other person told me they couldn’t see me. Oh well ~ at least we had audio.

I had another Zoom meeting today. I took the bandaid off the camera this time and everyone could see me.

Operator error! Pleasantry

up
16 users have voted.

"The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." Socrates (469-399 BC)

Pricknick's picture

over anybody's god any day.
I will also scratch their ears and bellies and praise them religiously.
They are my rock.
100_2662.JPG

up
15 users have voted.

Regardless of the path in life I chose, I realize it's always forward, never straight.

Bollox Ref's picture

But Fred is proving to be a good timekeeper here at Casa Bollox.

We're all on our toes. Especially the mice.

Img_0521.jpg

(Edited)

up
20 users have voted.

Gëzuar!!
from a reasonably stable genius.

Lookout's picture

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

up
21 users have voted.

“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

Pricknick's picture

@Lookout
your dog and her cat are plotting the day they lay together and asking each other: "What do humans taste like?"
I'm sure they laugh about it.

up
13 users have voted.

Regardless of the path in life I chose, I realize it's always forward, never straight.

gulfgal98's picture

@Lookout Dogs have masters and cats have staff!

up
10 users have voted.

"I don't want to run the empire, I want to bring it down!" ~Dr. Cornel West

snoopydawg's picture

IMG_4187.JPG

What do you call this?

IMG_4186.JPG

Pure Bread

up
14 users have voted.

"I will be the best, the best, you know, you know the thing!”
- Joe Biden

Grope and Hope

janis b's picture

even with your unwashed hair.

I really enjoyed the delight expressed.

up
8 users have voted.
janis b's picture

up
11 users have voted.
CS in AZ's picture

@janis b

who have commented and shared your pics, jokes, and thoughts!

It’s late and I’m out of energy to respond to everyone, but please know you are all appreciated very much.

Stay safe and be well everyone.

up
12 users have voted.