It's Over Gandalf. We Need to Unite Behind Saruman To Save Middle Earth From Sauron!

I’ve been on Team Gandalf ever since he first visited the Shire. It was so nice to see a wizard who was truly a wizard of the people. The kind of wizard who wouldn’t even throw you in a dungeon for smoking a little Longbottom Leaf or Old Toby. Here was a wizard who didn’t have a big fancy tower. His staff and cloak were rather plain and grey. And he had quite a dream, didn’t he?

Gandalf had the crazy idea that some little hobbits could stand up to and defy the power of the billionaire class Dark Lord Sauron. But I guess that was a pipe dream after all.

Gandalf failed. He got his ass locked up atop Saruman’s tower when he foolishly defied the head of the Democratic Party council of wizards. And now that he’s locked up it’s not like some eagle is going to magically appear and rescue him. It’s over. And now Saruman is our only hope against Sauron.

We need to stop saying nasty things about Saruman or it will be difficult to rally the people of Middle Earth to his side. Here are some things we should no longer mention, or if we do, we should put a positive spin on them so people will still see Saruman is our only hope.

Saruman’s Environmental Record: While it is true that Saruman has supported clear cutting huge ancient forests, and while an old hippie tree hugger like Treebeard might tell you lots of those trees were his friends, we ARE talking about trees here. And sure, Gandalf has a much better record on the environment but he’s done now. It’s time to focus on how much worse Sauron’s environmental record is. I mean, have you seen Mordor? 

Saruman’s Being in League With the Dark Lord: Okay, okay. It’s true. Saruman did go to Sauron’s wedding. But that was a LONG time ago when Sauron still had both eyes. And fake hair. It’s also true that Saruman may have promised to do the dark lord’s bidding and to find the ring of power and give it to Sauron. But c’mon! You know Saruman was just doing that because he plans to ultimately betray Sauron after he’s done betraying us!

Saruman Actively Seeks Out the Ring of Power, and the Ring of Power Has Only One Master and Is Evil. Gandalf says that is evidence you have to refuse to have anything at all to do with the Super PrACious at all. His biggest criticism of Saruman is that Saruman plans to try and use the ring. But that’s just an artful smear on Gandalf’s part, implying that Saruman doesn’t have the integrity to be totally uninfluenced by the speaking fees one ring once he accepts it!

Saruman Has Instigated Pre-Emptive War That Has Killed Thousands: Look, he only did that to prove his loyalty and toughness to Sauron so he could get some of that sweet, sweet ring of power. You know, the power we can totally trust him to use AGAINST Sauron later. Sometimes you have to burn a few villages in Rohan to save the world. Besides, it was all a misunderstanding. Saruman glimpsed in the palantir and thought he saw a spear of mass destruction being constructed at Helm’s Deep. Cause you can totally trust what Sauron chooses to show you in the palantir.

So now you all have your talking points. Let’s get out there and whip up support for Saruman! Saruman is the wisest and most powerful of the wizards and has the most experience! Saruman will not be influenced at all by the Super PrACious ring of power and will instead use its might to betray the one who made it. He totally is going to betray Sauron and not us.

So forget about Gandalf and his ridiculous plan involving little hobbits and actually giving up Wall Street money the ring of power. Only a fool would take on the power of Wall Street Mordor without it.

So it’s time to say #I’mWithSar because Saruman isn’t after the ring for himself, he’s always been fighting for us. Thank you, Saruman, for bearing the heavy burden of all that Wall Street money the ring of power to save us from a fate even worse than you:

Thanks for the rec list a Daily Kos! Sadly, as of around noon I can no longer comment or write new diaries over there. Not sure if it's a glitch or what. I guess we'll see.

Remember, you might not like having to support Saruman but we live in a TWO TOWER system!

And I don’t hate Saruman. Saruman makes me sad and a little angry. You know why? Because I’m with Tree Beard: “A wizard should know better.”

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greywolfe359's picture

At least not for now. I would hope that some people could respect satire and to be fair, a decent number of Clinton supporters DID. Several others did not.

Funny when you consider the diary does not even mention she who cannot be named criticized even once.

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Lisa Lockwood's picture

and it's showing the bony skull thingy.
Their loss. F'em if they have no sense of humor, not to mention decency.
((hug))

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"When the powerless are shut out of the media, we will make the media irrelevant" ~Anonymous~

gulfgal98's picture

That is downright ugly. I thought this was a terrific and very creative diary and so did a lot of others as it hit the top of the Rec list.

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

greywolfe359's picture

Top of the Rec List. Already among the most shared. Lots of Clinton people took the joke well. Apparently satire is no longer welcome. But I will fight them on that and create five new accounts a day if I have to.

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will be seen as a badge of honor by those who got it during the current election season.

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gulfgal98's picture

for one of the more creative diaries to appear over there in some time. Even a number of Clinton supporters said they enjoyed it.

I was thinking earlier about how entitled those people feel they are. The bubble that they are living in right now is going to burst sooner or later and it will not be pretty. They cannot protect themselves and their candidate forever. That baggage is way too heavy.

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

prfb's picture

does not help matters.

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poligirl's picture

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Wink's picture

indeed. I expect to find one soon.

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the little things you can do are more valuable than the giant things you can't! - @thanatokephaloides. On Twitter @wink1radio. (-2.1) All about building progressive media.

Greywolfe Banned.png

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greywolfe359's picture

Soon as I figure out my profile options.

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Martha Pearce-Smith's picture

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What a great avatar...

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"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

ChemBob's picture

Let it be DK's loss and post everything here instead. I'd be happy for their traffic to fall towards zero.

This was a GREAT diary, btw. I read it there, but couldn't rec it, LOL.

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Cassiodorus's picture

Seconded.

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"The war on Gaza, backed by the West, is a demonstration that the West is willing to cross all lines. That it will discard any nuance of humanity. That it is willing to commit genocide" -- Moon of Alabama

elenacarlena's picture

You have one of those badges of honor too, from what I understand? Glad to see you here!

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stevej's picture

to the day when only pro Clinton diaries are posted at TOP. That will signify that the site is no longer relevant even in a tiny way.

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“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.” -Voltaire

Muddy Boots's picture

A most excellent presentation, one I am completely on board with.

Plus it exposes my few friends to the coolest political blog I just joined.

Thank you for posting it here. I was not about to plug the GOSauron.

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"If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back" - Regina Brett

I do not want to promote TOP.

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"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

Yohannon's picture

Eh, a worthy idea, but creating sock puppets and stealth accounts gets to be too much like work after awhile.

But yeah, your banning was That Final Straw™ I was waiting for without realizing it. You were so freaking reasonable in that comments section, even uprating the Hill Trolls that were getting flagged for being, to be blunt, humorless dicks about it.

I mean, if George Bush (Sr.) could stand next to Dana Carvey as he did his uncanny impression of him, if Tina Fey and Sarah Palin can stand on the same page, and even HRC herself can stand next to her own satirical representation without rancor, wtf is wrong with people seeing the humor in the post?

Sad is the man who can not laugh at himself. Blum 3

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Just another refugee from the Daily Chaos. Wink

greywolfe359's picture

I've never been afraid to take it as well as dish it out. Someone down thread was asking "what if I compared Bernie Sanders to Elmer Fudd??" and I couldn't comment anymore but I wanted to say I would just be like....okay. Have fun with that. I think Grandpa Simpson might work better. Satire is funny.

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detroitmechworks's picture

Jeez, those are really bottom of the barrel literary criticisms.

The obvious One is of course, Don Quixote!

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfHnzYEHAow]

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I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

elenacarlena's picture

Yes, Bernie does have a Quixote-ish quality to him, tilting at windmills, as do/are we all.

We will follow that star, no matter how hopeless.

Maybe I'll start putting DQ lines in my comments at GOS. If I make more comments at GOS.

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greywolfe359's picture

I once wrote a diary on the great orange beast called "Til the Windmills Fall Or I Do" about my commitment to fight for progressive ideals even when there is little to no hope, because we progressives fight on a larger time scale. Things people fight for in the early 1800s in some cases weren't realized til the mid 20th century. I might not live to see victory but if we fight the good fight and reach for the unreachable star, it might be reachable for someone else down the road.

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That reminds me, is Bill the "Smithers" or is Hillary? It's gotta be Bill right? Or then who is her "Smithers".

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FTS

Bluesee's picture

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Bernie is a win-win.

pfiore8's picture

i went back to see if there was any more whacked out things. . . your comment was great and then i went to your profile and you had me laughing with your triple x essays. great and i noticed you listed this as your home page.

and bingo... here you are. hello.

in fact, let me add the link to your comment so your fellow C99Pers can rec the hell out of it.

I want to thank Kos for getting me off my butt . . .

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“There are moments which are not calculable, and cannot be assessed in words; they live on in the solution of memory… ”
― Lawrence Durrell, "Justine"

elenacarlena's picture

Really, Kos can dish it out but he can't take it. I thought he'd be fair about his ban hammer.

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lunachickie's picture

So did I. I think.

I thought he'd be fair about his ban hammer.

To be sure, I'd decided I better start sucking up any time I was over there, since the 15th, just so I could stick around and comment to those who I felt could be "turned" to the Light Side surreptitiously--or at least, that's what I told myself, lol! I can't lie my way out of a paper bag, even virtually, so you know I'm gonna step in it before too long doing that. But last night was epic for me--I saw that the banhammer fell on greywolfe late last night, not long after I had actually ingratiated myself enough to try to talk some sense into a serious long-term troll.

Mind you, I wondered more than once what the hell was wrong with me while I was in it--I did finally decide some sleep might help. Unfortunately, my wayward insanity continued this morning. I'm so ashamed now. I actually said I'd vote for Hillary if I had to.

TBH, I'm starting to have a really hard time with this shit. I am beside myself with anger at the notion that I might have to vote for that woman because of Donald Trump--but it is scary seeing all the support he's got, at least in my neck of the woods, so I hope you can forgive me....

It's been a long month already. I wonder if I just need to get hold of myself and stay far, far away from there for awhile? It's clearly messing with me on some level...

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smiley7's picture

posting here. A hearty welcome to you!

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lunachickie's picture

for not posting here sooner, and it is damned good to be among friends. Thanks for the welcome Smile

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smiley7's picture

plus many more friends. JtC is working hard in the background to accommodate all the new members and make site improvements.
So glad you are here. Smile

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added my rec's to comments

Has anyone noticed there are more than 1,000 members here now!
Fantastic.

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pfiore8's picture

or something? and from whom? what did it say? can't help but be curious.

really incredible.

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“There are moments which are not calculable, and cannot be assessed in words; they live on in the solution of memory… ”
― Lawrence Durrell, "Justine"

greywolfe359's picture

Just pointed me to the comment Kos made on my thread. I asked for the chance to respond to his poor understanding of satire, Lord of the Rings and other things but was not given one.

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gulfgal98's picture

I also made an inquiry on your behalf at the help desk and got the same response.

I am just wondering why this diarist was banned. This diary hit the top of the rec list with over 460 recommendations and was shared with nearly 13 K Facebook users. It was a great example of satire and yet the diarist was banned without notice.

IMO, it is sad when people must have to self censor. Every person here now is walking on eggshells unless they are a full throated supporter of Hillary Clinton. It is sad that anyone should feel that way. It is the worst type of censorship. I would hope that dkos is a better place than that.

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

Thumb's picture

I got a two week time out to start the month for "using humor that made some people uncomfortable." Some people didn't like my "- Vote Hillary" slogans even if they weren't being flagged. After reading your comments section I have a good idea who the Humor Police are.

I don't even believe it's Kos himself doing the banning on this one, just someone who feels entitled to keep the site a Hillar(it)y Safe Zone.

Oh, and shared your piece on my fb feed with the headline This Satire Got This Person BANNED from a "progressive" site. You're over 10,000 shares.

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"Polls don't tell us how well a candidate is doing; Polls tell us how well the media is doing." ~ Me

They must be pretty funny to have struck a nerve like that!

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Thumb's picture

Each one was customized to mock the specific arguments of anyone trolling or thread-jacking in a Bernie diary - which is also why I thought I'd be safe. Got tons of recs and someone said I should have made a gathered collection of them, but a lot of them needed the context of the comment they were in reply to for them to really be funny.

Always the same bold format closing with - Vote Hillary. A couple examples might be:

I... Did Not... Have Financial Relations... With Those Special Interests - Vote Hillary!

Gimmie An X... - Vote Hillary!

Wall Street Can't Trust Me, But You Can - Vote Hillary!

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"Polls don't tell us how well a candidate is doing; Polls tell us how well the media is doing." ~ Me

PastorAgnostic's picture

and laughed myself silly.

Congrats on your boner. Viagra moment? Banning? That's the one.

That was some of the finest satire and humor I have read over there. Thanks for reposting it here.

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gulfgal98's picture

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

Steven D's picture

If it was someone else, they did so with his blessing because he delegated the grunt work to them. Grunt work does seem aporia the for orcs after all.

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

tapu dali's picture

Formerly Silly Rabbit.

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There are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't know.

elenacarlena's picture

S/he's one of the worst Hillary partisans.

How do you know that? If I can prove it, I may take that to the help desk over there.

Trix should have been banned for bullcrap, not put in charge of who stays and who goes.

No wonder no humor is allowed.

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gulfgal98's picture

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

tapu dali's picture

Formerly Silly Rabbit.

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There are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't know.

Very happy to see you here. I admit, I had no idea who your were (a distinguished bard of cia guys place). Then I saw people welcoming your return to cia guys place AND then I kept finding these small concise jewels of posts that were the direct cause of merriment for me. And they all had your name on them. I liked your list too. Though Schrodinger's Hillary is still my favorite meme so far this year. I look forward to seeing more of you now that you're here :).

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With their hearts they turned to each others heart for refuge
In troubled years that came before the deluge
*Jackson Browne, 1974, Before the Deluge https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SX-HFcSIoU

elenacarlena's picture

it's not doing its job! Were your comments racist? Sexist? I didn't think so. Then WTF?

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lunachickie's picture

Thumb, I hope you compiled those in a Word file on your hard drive, so you can re-share (if you haven't already--if you have, please share a link with me!!). Some of them had me absolutely screaming with laughter, but I forget what they were, exactly. I just remember that they were awesome, particularly in context to whatever thread they were in Smile

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Humor Police - fabulous.

Now we have to be concerned with how a person reacts to humor. Dog help us.

Imagine what they're gonna do at President Tump's inauguration. How can anyone not play with that humorously.

Starting with John Boehner being VP. The Orange Boys. GOS would love that. Think it was named after them Lol

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shaharazade's picture

they brought out the hammer. If it had not been terrific,creative and recommended by a lot of people it would have gone unnoticed. My CT theory is that the admins at dkos are weeding out the best writers, effective voices, who advocate for a 'political revolution'. They are culling the herd. Really sick.

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Cassiodorus's picture

that we get those voices!

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"The war on Gaza, backed by the West, is a demonstration that the West is willing to cross all lines. That it will discard any nuance of humanity. That it is willing to commit genocide" -- Moon of Alabama

pfiore8's picture

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“There are moments which are not calculable, and cannot be assessed in words; they live on in the solution of memory… ”
― Lawrence Durrell, "Justine"

movie buff's picture

that has to resort to shunning and shaming and strong-arming its own supporters in order to get votes is not a healthy party. Remember that movie 'The Village?' Kind of a shitty movie, IMO, but a pretty good metaphor. That's Daily Kos and the Democratic Party right now. We do not ask what is outside The Village because we do not ask what is outside The Village. Except Bernie Sanders: he is the One of Whom We Do Not Speak. His ideas? Not suitable for The Village. Now do not speak of such things and you will be much happier.

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"The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum." --Noam Chomsky

gulfgal98's picture

I cannot remember when any party has treated such a large number of its voters (both Democrats and Independents) so shabbily. I am guessing they think they can because the alternative is so bad. I think Clinton and her supporters are going to be in for a rude awakening, if she even makes it to the general. There are too many people who simply will not vote for her because they rightly believe she is not to be trusted. This investigation is not going away and with the Blumenthal aspect now public, this is not good for Clinton. The Clintons' hubris is simply unbelievable.

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

There's hundreds of new sock puppets with names like "gohomebernie" and the like, all sanctioned and acceptable. They're gonna get what they deserve. A laughingstock reputation.

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Miep's picture

The best predictor for getting banned there, outside of being a general pain in the ass, is being a popular and talented independent thinker who doesn't pull punches. They oughtta put that in their FAQ's.

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Stay on track. Stay in lane. Don't throw rocks.

greywolfe359's picture

This is just ridiculous. Even satire will not be tolerated, huh?

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detroitmechworks's picture

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I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

gulfgal98's picture

You wrote a critically acclaimed piece of art that was complimented by a number of people on the other side and they banned you?

Well done! You did not flame out. You went out on top. Dirol

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

Martha Pearce-Smith's picture

When I left it had been shared over 7000 times on Face Book...it is ALL OVER the Internet by now. Talk about going viral!

And when it gets around that kos BANNED such a talented writer...he is going to look like a bigger dick than he already does.

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Thumb's picture

Over 10,000 already.

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"Polls don't tell us how well a candidate is doing; Polls tell us how well the media is doing." ~ Me

Yohannon's picture

Egads, that's INSANE. Has ANYONE had that many shares for any D'Kos diary??

(I'm glad someone's reporting it. I'm going cold turkey and staying away... that site was such a "goto" for me that I find myself going pavlovian on every break. "Let's see, acquire fresh caffeinated beverage, check Slashdot, MacSurfer, Daily... uh, no. Damn it.")

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Just another refugee from the Daily Chaos. Wink

Tommymac's picture

This work of art is going to have real impact on a lot of people in the days ahead.

Bravo greywolfe359! You have gone out on top.

Kos is a bitter man - sucks to be him.

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FEEL THE BERN: "But such is the irresistible nature of truth, that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing." - Thomas Paine
"Here I Stand, I can do no other." - Attributed to Martin Luther, 1521

greywolfe359's picture

Think we should start sharing it again from here and get THIS site some traffic. To hell with Kos.

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Muddy Boots's picture

22953 as I post.

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"If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back" - Regina Brett

Muddy Boots's picture

Definitely bad for DicKwad.

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"If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back" - Regina Brett

the one thing markos & his hall-monitor minions want more than anything, is for you to grovel & beg for another chance.

fuck that!

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PastorAgnostic's picture

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Yohannon's picture

What is this, a republican debate?

Seriously, I think we can find enough substantive crap on Markos without resorting to denigrating genitalia. 'Kay? 'Kay.

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Just another refugee from the Daily Chaos. Wink

elenacarlena's picture

If you can't get there, I would be happy to put in a word for you that you'd like to be unbanned, if you want.

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greywolfe359's picture

Would like to be unbanned. I could write a conciliatory piece explaining why Saruman really isn't that bad and Hillary shouldn't be afraid to be compared to him.

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Why be unbanned - yu can see the truth of what DKos has become.
Seriously = you are SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT PLACE
and no body is gonna change it while Kos is in charge.
You've already given so much of yourself, and it has literally been tossed away.

Why ask for more punishment????

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lunachickie's picture

well-put, Caerus. You are so much better than that, greywolfe! To me, it's like a badge of honor as it stands now. And if you try to get reinstated there, doesn't he win the optics? If that's true, it'll pump his wretched little ego up another notch.

Fuck him and his twisted thought experiment of a "blog"...

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Martha Pearce-Smith's picture

What you wrote is a masterpiece, as show by how viral it has gone. And it shows kos as the petty, self-serving tyrant he truly is.

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First Nations News

Don't protest on GOS, make it PUBLIC. FB, Twitter, where ever you post - post the truth, and MOCK IT!
Nothing puts it in a better perspective than good mocking - just make sure it's the truth. Let people know what's happened to DKos,
might also add the people supporting Bernie Sanders are NOT supporting Clinton/DNC/DLC/super delegates.
Will stay home and BLAME DWS & her cronies.

Short term pain - LONG TERM GAIN. We get to take back the Democratic party - OR form new party - there are millions of us now.

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'Well, I've wrestled with reality for thirty five years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it." Elwood P. Dowd "

Cassiodorus's picture

Now it's time to strip Markos bare, and leave him with his small circle of toadies.

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"The war on Gaza, backed by the West, is a demonstration that the West is willing to cross all lines. That it will discard any nuance of humanity. That it is willing to commit genocide" -- Moon of Alabama

Martha Pearce-Smith's picture

thumb_Proudly Banned.jpg

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weren't funny. I politely disagreed.

Humorless "voice of reason," the poster known as Laurence Lewis. More likely that he's trying to strongarm you out of there. He's among the less fiery of the HRC folks--the David Brooks of the Clinton camp, the one who, on the surface, seems reasonable and moderate in tone.

He made sure to mention Hillary, just in case ANYONE reading had missed the analogy. That way he could attempt to suggest that you had crossed that line into banned territory. Vomitrocious.

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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." --Jiddu Krishnamurti

pfiore8's picture

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“There are moments which are not calculable, and cannot be assessed in words; they live on in the solution of memory… ”
― Lawrence Durrell, "Justine"

lunachickie's picture

That smarmy little enforcer-prick. I wonder what he thinks is in it for him?

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PastorAgnostic's picture

No, you are there. I am here, and you aren't here, I hear, but there you are. Here, here. Or hear, hear.

Damned glad to meet you.

Again.

Hillarians are good at some things, especially empty promises. I am sure that they scoured the intertubes to find potential nests of what they considered to be hornets, wasps, and other stinging critters. Like the nasty pro-Bernie nest of liberals and progressives that made the mistake of making Kos rich, while we naively expected him to do the right thing.

I suspect that his dreams of riches and power went down the (inter) tubes with his latest moves. He is too shallow, greedy, myopic, and ineffably stupid to see what he did to himself, even if he thinks that, his Shyte don't smell.

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musicsleuth's picture

Really sad you got the banhammer. Glad you reposted it over here Smile

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triv33's picture

because I don't share things from the tangerine dream~

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I shave my legs with Occam's Razor~

PastorAgnostic's picture

Did you do that?

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When I read your diary today I experienced some needed joy for an otherwise busy end of the week. But as I combed through the comments that joy turned into gut spilling laughter! Thanks so much. Just now I read over at Reddit you were tossed for that diary. WOW!

If someone has a list of diaries that has earned the skull recently I would love to link it and try to get it trending on the Twitter! Although any publicity is good publicity might backfire on my attempt to crush the book burners over there. But thanks again cause it turned around my shitty day.

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FTS

Steven D's picture

A little man trying to become a bigger one with a blog. As if the elites would ever give him a real sat at their table.

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

detroitmechworks's picture

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I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

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