HILLARY
(aside) They speak.
O, speak again, bright voter! For thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head, way over my head,
As is a wingèd messenger of my PAC
Unto the white, racist, upturnèd, wondering eyes
Of Republicans that fall back to gaze on them
When they bestride the lazy-puffing clouds
And sail upon the bosom of neoliberalism.

CONSERVATIVE VOTER
O Hillary, Hillary! Wherefore art thou Hillary?
Deny thy husband and refuse thy name.
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be a Republican.

HILLARY
(aside) Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this? My two sides wonder...

CONSERVATIVE VOTER
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy.
Thou art thyself, though not a Republican.
What’s Republican? It is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a principled man. O, be some other name!
What’s in a name? That which we call shit
By any other word would smell as foul.
So Hillary would, were she not Hillary called,
Retain that dear perfection which she owes
Without that title. Hillary, doff thy name,
And for that name, which is no part of thee
Take all myself.

HILLARY
I take thee at thy word.
Call me a Republican, and I’ll be new baptized.
Henceforth I never will be a Democrat.

CONSERVATIVE VOTER
What woman art thou that, thus bescreened in night,
So flip-flops on my counsel?

HILLARY
I am Hillary Clinton, and I approved this message.