Open Sesame 09/10/16
Submitted by hecate on Sat, 09/10/2016 - 4:17am
The Science Men, who are about the climate change, they experience many frustrations. In attempting to persuade the Americans. To—please—pay, at least a little. Attention.
The first problem, it is that all of the toxic nutbars, from The Hairball to Runt Limprod, they are out there, all day, every day, and all of every night, ceaseless ululating, that the climate change, it is just shit made up.
It isn't Real, say they, the climate change, and, even if it is, the humans, they have nothing to do with it.
According to The Hairball, for instance, climate change, it is totally a hoax, invented by those people that Limprod, forever maroooned in 1951, invariably describes as "the ChiComs." These nefarious ChiCom creatures, apparently, they invented the climate change, in order to secure all the monies. It is, admittedly, kind of hard to follow the argument, expressed as it is through The Hairball's galloping brain syphilis. Which, even as we speak, is being dissected and discussed, by many learned Fristian Phrenologists, and across eleventy-five billion tubes.
Anyway. The next problem, it is that the climate change, it is at present most obviously occurring, in places where the Americans, they are not going to go on their vacations. The Arctic, say, or those little islands out in the Pacific, that are not Hawaii or Tahiti.
Then there is the immediacy problem. The Americans, they are most likely to become exercised, about something that might calamatize, before the sun goes down. Like: what if they open the door, and see a brown person? Or, if the cable doesn't come back on in the next 30 minutes, they will not be able to watch the football game! Or, if they don't get to the store by 6:00 p.m., they will miss the shoe sale!
I have been poi dog pondering, upon how the Science Men, they might better craft their climate change message, to better get through, to the Americans. And I think I may have hit on a couple ideas. That might encourage the Americans. To at least slump up, some, from the depths of the barcaloungers, and mutter: "wait—what?"
Like: the Science Men, they could tell the Americans, that the climate change, and pretty soon, it is going to melt all the chocolate, and make all the beer, taste like cat piss.