Question: Dying - Alone or With Your Loved Ones Holding You?
When looking back at my life and looking at myself right now, I try to figure out what hurts me more and will stuck with me probably for the rest of my life:
A. if I couldn't be at the side of my son, if he were in danger to die due to the virus infection or vice versa for him, if he could not be with me, if I were going to die or
B. keeping distance as requested by the authorities.
Here why I think about that:
1. I wasn't at my mother's bedside when she took her last breath. I was 4000 miles away.
2. My sister was in the bedroom of my mother with her back to my mother's bed, looking out of the window and smoking. My mother was weak, but not sick, just old, but mentally fir. My siser did not foresee and did not realize that my mother was taking her last breath. Somehow she couldn't understand it.
3. I was not at my father's bedside, when he took his last breath. My mother was at his side in the marital bed. My father must have died during his sleep at night, but my mother was not sure if her husband was dead or not.(That was 1998). My sister is still haunted by the voice of my mothers telephone call, begging her to come over (both being neighors of each other), because she wasn't sure, if my father - her husband - was dead or not.
4. I regretted my whole life that I wasn't at my mothers side, when she died. I mourned more about that than the actual death. I always felt I was betrayed to not have been able to say good bye to her.
5. My sister was at the side of her husband, when he unexpectedly died prematurely after surgery of a non-lethal complication in the hospital. I remember vividly how she talked to us about that.
6. My sister closed the eyes of her daughter, who died after her daughter's life-long struggle with Hodgkin's disease and brain cancer, and was present when she took her last breath. We all spent a week with her daughter and her before she died. All of us knew her daughter was going to die within the next couple of days to weeks. My sister, her mother, was the only one, who didn't see that coming. That's what she admitted to us later on. And we were all struck by the fact that she didn't realize at what stage her daughter was at in relation to her upcoming death. I haven't understood why my sister was unable to let that reality sink into her mind. Similarly she doesn't understand the virus pandemy and what it could entail for many people.
7. My son and me, we are 7,285 plus some miles apart.
8. There are travel restrictions from HI to Germany and from Germany to HI. There is no chance to overcome these restrictions logistically and no way to undermine the regulations financially, as it can be expected that under cover extortion of money will happen - by those, who could help some persons to get an airplane flying away from the Hawaiian islands or to get place on a freighter ship from HI over to Germany or the US or Canada.
9. My son is in close contact with people, who could carry the virus. He had symptoms, his girlfriedn had symptoms. There were no tests available for residents of the islands. Tests meanwhile are available for passengers on incoming flights, for returning US cititzens, who are permanent residents on HI, For other incoming passengers, I am not sure what the regulations are. I think the get tested and perhaps also quarantained by default, but I am not sure.
10. Rules over travel restrictions are not clear and can be changed by the day, both in the US and in Europe. It is hard to keep up what the regulation changes are. I posted somewhere else the latest Duran video that is long, but makes it clear for EU conditions.
11. What I see is that the greatest concerns people have, is to not be able to be at the side of their loved ones, when they fear they might die through the virus infection or other sickness.
12. The travel restrictions and lack of testing kits for all persons everywhere, applied to no matter who they are, makes me the most angry/sad/demoralized. And handling this is difficult on each person individually, I feel..
Can and would you travel to a loved one, who has the symptoms or has a high probablity to carry the virus, if you had the chance and it were allowed and legal? Or would you keep a 'social' distance?
PS. Oh, yeah, folks in Europe won't forget what happens in the US, though they have no clue how bad the situation can get for the Americans. But then, who knows for sure anything these days?
I hope I didn't get too close to your feelings of hurt. If I did, I apologize and am sorry.
Take care of yourself and your loved ones.