The Cults of the Late American Empire.
(A lecture given at the Cascadian National University, 2517)
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMVmW0k9jZI]
Morning, Class. Hope everybody had a decent BBQ Day. I didn't do much, just had a few ciders and the block splurged on a deer. Which got me thinking about the old cults and how they used to worship BBQ day. So, you'll have to forgive me if my notes are a little fuzzy this morning.
Anyway... the old cults of the American Empire. (Points to slate blackboard) I know there's a lot of different ones here, and this is mostly just background material for those who want to delve a bit deeper. The main point is that Americans had a wide variety of cults and new movements, all of which eventually solidified their dogma into one overarching cult that existed solely for the preservation of the empire. The political rulers of the time had to curry favor with the cult, but it was mostly for show. The real power of the Empire lay with its military, as it always had.
Take one of the big ones. The Democrat cult. While its official dogma claimed a peaceful, contemplative outlook, the actual practices of the cult proved it to be one of the more insidious influences on American politics. It had lots and lots of subdivisons, sects and local chapters, all of which payed homage to the one currency which kept the empire together. Distraction.
At a time when the cult leaders were living a life full of the greatest opulence in history, the vast majority of the people of the world were forced to tithe in order to support this lifestyle. I know, you're thinking, how was it possible that someone living little better than a slave could think that they're in the greatest empire in the world? Because they saw the lifestyle, promoted to them, constantly. Mass media and distraction were the only thing that America truly excelled at, and its cults power was directly proportionate to how many people they could bamboozle into giving up their time, effort and morale. Every person was subjected, cradle to grave, with relentless messages that all of their woes and ills were the fault of not trying hard enough.
Now, I know that you're thinking, "Hey, they were trying to make a difference and they were just opposed by evil folks." Well, if you're thinking that you read too much of the cult's propaganda. Yeah, it's still popular, and heck I admit to having a fondness for some of the cult's stories about the mighty Avengers who sacrificed all for the American way. It's a great story, and it appeals to a sense of individuality.
I mean, the Republicans are EASY to understand. A cult that Promises Temporal power for being ruthless and strong is common in human history. But it is precisely the same values that the Democrats actually worshiped, while claiming to support collective action and the nebulous idea of the "Will of the people"
How much more devastating to the morale, to do what you think is the right thing, to try hard, to have a wisp of hope, and then to have that hope dashed without even the acknowledgement of your struggle? The idea that your actions, your hard work, and your enthusiasm was worthless because you did not support the right cult leader? In the end, while the leaders claimed to be working for all, they were indeed working only for themselves, and to maintain that tenuous grasp on power and luxury.
For when a person fell from the ranks of the elite, it was fast indeed. Laws, justice, and everything else could be quickly bypassed if the cult leaders decided that you were guilty. They had armies of lawyers, and for those targets that they wanted to destroy who had their own lawyers, the cults had the media...
Ok, sorry, I know you're confused. The American Law system was so complex and contradictory that there was an entire profession of people who were extremely well paid to do nothing but explain the law. Buying a piece of property wouldn't result in you having a discussion about profit sharing and how you intended to use the land, although lip service was occasionally paid to that in better times, but rather, how you would pay for the land. People would be expected to pay forever for the privilege of continuity of housing. The lawyers would ensure that all was done properly and that the proper rites of appeasement would be kept. Most of the time this involved gathering the signatures and seals of a variety of cult members, culminating in the documents being stored in a traditional Manila Folder. Why they called it that has been lost to time, sadly. I'm sure that story is interesting.
(To a student's question, inaudible) I'm sure I could whip up a lecture on the American Law system. It's not part of this course, and complicated as hell, but I'll talk to the Dean about a special lecture on Saturday if there's enough interest.
So, the main American cult was really just the worship of the cult leaders. To this day we still find emblems and tokens of their worship. People were expected to purchase or be given these symbols, which they would hold in massive rallies as signs of their devotion. It was believed that if enough people held onto the "Right" idol, then amazingly all of the problems of the Empire would be solved. They ranged from posters, to coins, to even hats with various slogans written on them.
Of course, eventually, it stopped working, because the people had nothing left to take. When your only option to speak is to hand over money...
Oh, forgot... you're going to love this. The law system actually paid fealty to the cults as well. No kidding. They actually decided that a legal construct of the cults had more rights than a citizen. And the people just... went along with it. That should show you exactly how much power this cult had.
So, yes, the faces being worshiped changed constantly, and the main rule of the cult was that you must not get caught making the cult look bad. That was the fastest way for expulsion. Of course, ex-cult members for the most part still retained their power and influence, but had to live a life of effective exile, surrounded only by their most loyal retainers.
Phew. Ok, I absolutely have a lot of time for questions here, because while this is a simple concept, the American layers of bureaucracy and propaganda can be pretty hard to understand if you haven't studied it or been immersed in it. What seems like simple and blatant manipulation to us was a high art in America, and the ability to shift with the cults winds was considered a strength of character in the cult.
Comments
The Cult of the Free Market is also worshipped here
Capitalism cannot fail.
Only we can fail capitalism.
Excellent point.
The cult of capitalism was deeply intertwined with the main cults, and I was remiss in not mentioning their influence.
Of course, all of the cults worked together under the overarching goal of maintaining the Empire and keeping the cult leaders in luxury.
After all, if the hunger is endless, there must always be more tribute to feed it. Which results in more people toiling to maintain the cult with the expectation of eventually being fed.
Of course, the cult ended before most of the participants ever saw a dime.
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaHaKbCh184]
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Your header says this was a lecture given at the University.
When? Is 2517 a date? I would think the Cascadians would have lost interest, by then. 2027, maybe?
"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X
Sorry, should have specified this is fictional.
Just was imagining a lecture at a society that was stable at some point in the future, and how the assumptions of American Society would be presented in a future history class.
And I don't think they will lose interest in five hundred years. Hell we still have historical records of the Roman equivalent of football riots...
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Thanks,
. Thanks...I was beginning to catch on as I read further. Not enough sleep the last couple days.
"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X
Sorry to hear that.
I had some troubles last night with a few fireworks, but got VERY high and this idea percolated a bit. I'm still fond of my "Nemo" concept, and hope that I can salvage a few of its better ideas. Some of them didn't work as well, so this Lecture was how I saw a "Simple" society trying to explain a ridiculously complex one.
And then I listened to a little Poledouris... and things just started working this morning.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Have you ever read "Earth Abides",
? Similar sort of idea, in the future, also in the Northwest, but the main character, survivor from the old days, tries to teach the new kids how things were done, and they don't have the slightest interest in it.
"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X
Interesting. Will have to look that up.
I am totally taking a different tactic with this, but it's always fun to read new takes.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
football riots
nika, nika, nika!
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
Just last week,
archeologists uncovered what appear to be the ruins of the fabled Basilica of the Great Orange Satan.
Am I right in thinking that this was a leading center of worship for these 'Democrats'?
Gëzuar!!
from a reasonably stable genius.
Oh, the Florida find!
Yes, that was quite interesting. Apparently the site of Mara's Lagoon was a standard pilgrimage for one of the last major cults of the Empire, which was known as the "Maggot" cult.
From what we can gather, they were nearly universally hated by the rest of the American Cults due to their refusal to obey the standard dogma of the time. While they pretty much acted in exactly the same manner as the others, their dogma drew from the popular diversions of the time, and fully embraced the "Survival of the Fittest" mentality that was a mark of late American Empire.
Of course, most of them didn't actually fight. They hired retainers to do that for them, and claimed credit under the great banner of the Bald Eagle, which you may know as the Common Chickenhawk.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
What a scene.
I was there. Seriously.
Good times.
For some reason, Every time I see a politician
Complaining about how the lower classes have harmed him, I see this scene in my head...
(The writing and music were superb in the film and James Earl Jones presents the banality of evil with such panache...)
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgN1sLcAQnw]
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Actually, I think this is very commercial.
It is reminiscent of the early satirists like Moliere and Jonathon Swift. Your set-up mirrors ancient Greek political satire, which was performed by comic poets at the theaters. Public opinion in the Athenian democracy was remarkably influenced by political satire, and it led directly to an increased doubt towards religion by the general population. All of this eventually evolved into The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
Satire never gets old. Sometimes it is the only way to truly understand a culture. Satire becomes increasingly popular when political speech and dissent are forbidden or as certain topics are suppressed by a propaganda regime. Hence, the overall commercial appeal.
So, what if a small notebook were found that briefly excerpted from a lecture series by a popular professor at the Cascadian National University, during the Fall semester of 2517? What if the notebook became entangled in an experimental Chinese quantum array and was somehow transported back to 2020? I imagine this could be one of the lecture/excerpt/chapters. The excerpt from the lecture on the legal theory and practice of a dying Empire sounds especially entertaining. I'd buy that book, especially if it was short, succinct, and pocket size, with a ribbon to mark my place.
[many edits]
That's a major compliment, thank you.
I admit I have been rereading "The Frogs" recently.
I'm now trying to imagine this professor, who is going to require a heck of a lot more background...
I've got a few good ideas here. Pretty much the Equivalent of a Byzantine studies professor these days.
(Lecture series Ideas)
Cults of America (Current essay)
A Delicately Balanced Inverted Pyramid (Discussion on the US Military)
Work or Starve (Slavery in the American Empire)
The American Celebration of Pandering (The art of technically not lying)
This is who they were (American Atrocities)
This is who they wished they were (American myths)
If anybody has any more, this would be a heck of a lot of fun to write.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
It would be fun to design.
A glance at Wikipedia tells us that:
I think the constructiveness would naturally flow from the idea that it is describing the past philosophy and mental map of the last dying empire, in the 21st century. All chapters should be short like this. They are each part of a cultural autopsy. (You never want to break character or theme.) But overall, the little book begs the question, perhaps introduced by the person who discovered the artifact: "Can the future be changed?"
Sounds awesome actually...
And writing it here, I'd probably want to stay (From this point on) in character in the comment sections. I think it'd be really interesting commentary on how the professor conducts his lessons and thinks of his students if he responded to EVERY single question, and included them in his lecture notes for the students who weren't in class... (Edited of course, to seem less like message board comments and more like actual questions from students..)
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Weaponry fixation,
, (especially since we know that flesh is stronger than steel.)
"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X
Ah yes, the ENRAN Cult...
They were extremely nasty. You know that they even Killed American Legionnaires and were one of the major reasons of the flooding the world with war weapons?
Heck, because of their influence many American boys started training for war as early as five years old? It may seem barbaric, but this relentless push for more soldiers bodies was deeply ingrained into the culture.
But, Great question, and I'll happily spend a little more time on that particular subject a little later in the course.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Ah.
To maintain the fiction, the professor is not the satirist. He's more the teacher of political anthropology, enjoying his student's reactions to a very quaint culture being studied that semester. The gap in time between our time and theirs is what turns it into satire. From their point of view, we are proto-humans and likely smelly. We still have the behaviors of unevolved savages without respect for human beings. We were alive during the final violent attempt at global Empire on this planet. We helped make the idea absurd for the remainder of human history. We put the final nail in that coffin. And yet, all that is just a footnote. Essentially, we will be known as the first humans to have the telephone. That will probably end up being our most significant historical claim to fame. Students of the future will ask each other, "What's a telephone?"
Thus, keep the chapter titles banal and focused on the unsustainability of the last empire; focused on the folly of the delusion. The lectures are describing artifacts and archetypes in a setting where it is much easier to discuss violence and inhumanity among a people long dead. It's easier to see and understand illogical thinking and superstition. They would react with humor more than empathy.
As I see it, the only contemporary character in the book is the person who finds this future artifact. Does he write the introduction? Does he narrate the chapters? Is he confused? Does he misread the intent of the book, like a Gilda Radner character? Is he an intelligence agent with an agenda who thinks this is a Russian plot? Is it being published by Wikileaks? Is it a hoax? Did the Chinese lie when they said it came through its quantum transporter? Are they trying to trick us into giving up our global war for Empire? Are there clues in the artifact itself? Did carbon dating prove it to be impossibly old, meaning that it could only come from a distant future where it would be old? Cui bono? I don't know.
Rgr. good points.
I think that I got a little away from the core of the idea in my brainstoms. (I can get a little flowery and preachy at times, a habit I need to reign in for this piece in particular)
Actually the titles in paragraphs work even better as title for the lectures. Just basic and factual information, with the distance of centuries... as you said.
Only one I really need to rethink is The art of Not lying... OOOH, got it!
American Etiquette
Ok, and for the modern finder... I'm half tempted to joke that this was found in a blue police box hidden in Elon Musk's secret vault. But that's a bit too much of a Whovian joke.
I'm thinking that the Modern finder, to do this RIGHT, has to be completely ignorant about what the lectures are actually about. The finder skimmed through it, found numerous references to the American "President" and assumed that the document was a lecture about the glorious five hundred year reign of the American Empire... (Of course the American President is a title similar to "Caesar" at this point...)
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.