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I'm afraid I don't have much to offer today, because yesterday I got the news that Bitty Kitty, my remaining cat, has a mass in her chest which is basically suppressing the function of one lung. The mass has also essentially bent the bottom of her trachea, and put it out of alignment. This makes it hard for her to breathe under certain circumstances, and makes eating difficult. Since she is also in stage 3 of renal disease, and is 17 years old, that basically means that this is her time of dying.

I was hoping that it was something like allergies. Although she declined quickly from where she was a couple weeks ago, she did not seem like she was ready to go. Unlike many animals who are ready to die, she was not listless, nor withdrawn; she even wanted to eat, though it was difficult.

But here we are.

Today, we will have our hospice vet come and give a compassionate ending for Bitty in our own home, like we did for Luci. Hopefully, we will make the end as free from both pain and fear as possible. That's what I'd like for my own end.

Anyway. It's nice to have y'all around at a time like this.

Thank you for being here.

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QMS's picture

It is hard to let go of our friends.
Your hospice vet approach is
very compassionate.

Wishing you emotional strength.

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17 users have voted.
Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@QMS

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7 users have voted.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

17 years old, listless, hair falling ut. Still eating but screaming after eating (ulcer?). One day I saw a mouse in her cage eating from her bowl. She was watching it with dull eyes. This was a dog happily chasing a rabbit two years ago. She was only in the cage the last two years, after she started losing control of her urine while sleeping. The door was always open and, true to what I had read, she came to accept it as her den (putting the food bowl in there helped). We brought her to the vet who said, "You are not doing her any favors keeping her alive". He gave her a massive shot of Quaaludes. I have her ashes in small box in the closet next to my parents' ashes. Someday I'll scatter them together.

The hospice vet coming to your house was a nice touch. None of the trauma of going to the vet.

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12 users have voted.

I've seen lots of changes. What doesn't change is people. Same old hairless apes.

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@The Voice In the Wilderness

I feel really lucky to have a vet locally who specializes in what she calls "compassionate care." All based around what's easiest for the animal, and minimizes pain and distress.

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10 users have voted.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

enhydra lutris's picture

it is a consequence of having pets. We've had two pair of cats, all of whom lived to ripe old ages but finally went down. I do wish that we had had hospice vets like you to save them the trauma of that final trip to the vets office, which is much better avoided, I suspect.

buddha1

Be well and have the best day you can

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10 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@enhydra lutris

As Kate put it, it's the cost of loving.

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7 users have voted.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

@enhydra lutris
Passed in the night when I was on a business trip (young adult). It's how I want to go. Just go to sleep and not wake up. Although the big high is not too bad, either.
My mother was in "hospice" for six months waiting to die. At least they gave her plenty of morphine. It would have been better to lie to her and say she was going to get well, here's a little pain relief, then slip her the killing dose.

like the vet said to me when doing my dog above. "It's a shame we can't do this with people." That was when the Oregon "Death with dignity" was current.

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8 users have voted.

I've seen lots of changes. What doesn't change is people. Same old hairless apes.

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@The Voice In the Wilderness

Did the Feds finally manage to bully them out of that position?

That would be too bad, b/c we've been eyeing them hopefully for later life.
We are strong RTD supporters.

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4 users have voted.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal
by "current" I mean5t in the news.

Is Bob in Portland still here?

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1 user has voted.

I've seen lots of changes. What doesn't change is people. Same old hairless apes.

Granma's picture

You are doing her the final loving thing you can do. The vet sounds wonderful.

Be very kind to yourselves today. Give yourselves whatever indulgences make you feel happy.

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9 users have voted.
Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Granma

I passed that on to my partners. We all appreciate your kind words, and we will take your advice!

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7 users have voted.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

Lookout's picture

with our 15 YO. Hard to lose those you love.
https://caucus99percent.com/content/weekly-watch-219

Condolences!

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7 users have voted.

“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Lookout

I'm sorry for your loss, too.

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1 user has voted.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

to tell Bitty Kitty good bye, and that you will always love her.
Find ways to laugh tonight. You have lots to look forward to, friend.

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5 users have voted.
Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@on the cusp I've been going back and forth between feeling OK and feeling torn up. Seems to be the way I respond to grief. It'll be OK, eventually. Mostly OK.

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3 users have voted.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

Pluto's Republic's picture

...Bitty Kitty was a very lucky cat. All that love and caring — and the ultimate gift, letting her go when best for her. We do make a covenant with our beloved pets. We stand with them because we are their entire world, and show them we are okay and our love is with them.

Then, be good to yourselves.

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8 users have voted.
Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Pluto's Republic

It actually helps to hear that. (And you're right; it is a sacred covenant. Those who don't recognize it are generally not good pet owners).

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3 users have voted.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

Dawn's Meta's picture

cemetery had its fair share. But we have loved them all. Now this winter we were just beginning to think, 'well if a feral cat came along to help us with the numerous rodents, that would be good'.

Then in a cold rainstorm two brother kittens were in our ditch. Maybe six weeks old. Miniature Puma, Ira, stood on his back legs, spread his arms wide and hissed at me. His fluffy grey brother, George, was in hypothermia. First time ever having kittens. They are now closing in on six months: up-to-date on surgeries, shots and collars. Super healthy and exploring around the outside of the house. They met their cow/calf neighbors this week: that kept them on the extension roof. Also killed their first (that we know of) mole, mouse or whatever. We think the dog ate it.

Bitty Kitty has been so lucky to be a part of your family and your decision is right and humane. Pictures will bring tears and laughter.

May you have the peace of knowing you have been a good family to Bitty Kitty. It's the best thing for her and you. Crying is good. And as we have done many times, a glass of champagne for a life will lived.

Blessings on you both.

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4 users have voted.

A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they know they shall never sit. Allegedly Greek, but more possibly fairly modern quote.

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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Dawn's Meta

It's always inspiring when somebody makes a difference like that.

As for Bitty, I think she's gonna leave a bigger hole than I thought. She wasn't originally *my* cat; she just decided that she was when we moved back to Florida. When we got the dogs and they started sleeping with Kate on occasion, That Was the Final Straw for Miss Bitty Kitty, who still loved her original Mom, but wasn't about to Consort With Dogs.

Bitty was not friendly with everyone, but the people she liked, she liked very much, and she was always happy to see me when I came back in my room. Some nights, if I didn't show up on time, she'd wander through the house looking for me. She was a little healing spirit; the kind of cat who sits on your head when you're feeling anxious (sitting on people is, apparently, the ultimate healing method).

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6 users have voted.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver