Donald Rumsfeld endorses Hillary!

In case you didn't get it. This is SATIRE.

Donald Rumsfeld endorsed Hillary Clinton earlier today, saying “I believe Secretary Clinton is the steady hand we need in the various wars we are fighting”. This was greeted by the DNC as yet another sign that moderate, mainstream, responsible Republicans are deserting their toxic nominee.

Rumsfeld, who served as defense secretary under George W. Bush, is remembered for his commitment to sharing enduring freedoms with unfortunate countries requiring an assist to vault into the age of democracy. “I believe Hillary Clinton understands American exceptionalism and how much the world needs us” Rumsfeld is quoted as saying.

Though an unlikely endorsement, this is not the first time Hillary Clinton and Donald Rumsfeld have found themselves on the same side of a political issue. In 2002, Hillary Clinton crossed the aisle in a courageous vote to deliver the benefits of liberty to the people of Iraq, via the agency of the US armed forces. Donald Rumsfeld was the defense minister at the time. This is a “known known”.

Spokespersons for the Clinton campaign and Mr. Rumsfeld said the two had developed mutual respect and a close rapport over the years. “They both call Chicago home and share a certain mid-western simplicity. Also a common work ethic. They work very hard. Mr. Rumsfeld has a standing desk.” said the Clinton spokesperson. “This is what you might call an unknown unknown”, a spokesperson replied when asked why Mr. Rumsfled had switched his support.

With Mr. Rumsfeld’s endorsement, the Clinton campaign has been reluctantly endorsed by dozens of senior Republicans. Staffers speculated as to whether former vice-president Dick Cheney would join them. “If Cheney were to come on board, that would soften up a lot of formerly unreachable Republicans. We will always have our differences with them, but on some things, such as keeping America safe, we can agree that Secretary Clinton will be the better choice” a senior DNC official who requested anonymity said.

The biggest possible prize remains elusive, the Clinton campaign continues to pursue the highly coveted Kissinger endorsement. The pursuit continues despite recent revelations that the Carter administration was incensed at Mr. Kissinger’s 1978 trip to Argentina. On that occasion, Mr. Kissing publicly praised the military junta responsible for thousands of “disappearances”.

This is snark.

The last paragraph is true.

Share
up
0 users have voted.

Comments

MsGrin's picture

are they beside themselves at TOP?
(Second thought, don't tell me - I don't care).

up
0 users have voted.

'What we are left with is an agency mandated to ensure transparency and disclosure that is actually working to keep the public in the dark' - Ann M. Ravel, former FEC member

reflectionsv37's picture

I'm curious as hell to know how they are interpreting this, but too damn terrified to look for myself!

We have crossed the Rubicon here. We are now on the other side of some place extremely frightening. Please tell me they aren't seriously looking for Dick Cheney endorsement? I just really don't know what to say. I feel like I've entered another dimension. And I don't like it at all!

up
0 users have voted.

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
George W. Bush

reflectionsv37's picture

the guts to post that over there. I couldn't help myself! I had to look! Out of 77 comments bashing you, only 3 of them included the name Rumsfeld! And one of those actually referred to Rumsfeld as a "moderate". No I'm not making this up. Those commenters that bothered to address the substance of your post seemed to think this was a good thing because now even republicans will vote for Hillary. And one of the people there made the obligatory derogatory remark about C99 claiming that it's a ghost town here and people like subir are finally coming back to that place. Frankly, I think I'm going to be sick!

And lastly... Boo!!! You're all a bunch of ghosts and I can't see you!! It is however nice to see they stop by here to get some factual information. One can only live in lala land for so long without something real to grab a hold of.

up
0 users have voted.

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
George W. Bush

After reading your comment, I went into my bookmarks to find "big top" (fitting no?) to check it out. I did scan the right hand column, and I did look at the number of recs/comments in subir's diary. I didn't click. It has indeed turned into the big top. Clowns, paper tigers, and lots of acrobats twisting figures into pretzels.

up
0 users have voted.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

up
0 users have voted.

@subirgrewal

lunachickie's picture

with snark that could actually be true.

up
0 users have voted.

How many Republican Neocons have to endorse Hillary before her fans start to get the hint that she's neither liberal nor progressive? Doesn't matter if she puts on the Bernie mask for a speech once a month or so.

People over there who support her Neocon associations don't get to call themselves progressives or liberals, as far as I'm concerned. If they do, the labels have lost whatever shreds of meaning remained to them.

up
0 users have voted.

Please help support caucus99percent!

lunachickie's picture

Not snark. Prescience.

I was considering the source, too...

up
0 users have voted.

That Rumsfeld?
auughhhh......

up
0 users have voted.

is that Hillary-ites at Kos and elsewhere will focus on how bad the Republican endorsements show Trump to be, rather than what they say about Hillary.

up
0 users have voted.

"You argue that you don't want to throw away your vote. That's right. Don't vote for freedom - you might not get it. Vote for slavery - you have a cinch on that." Eugene Debs

Any candidate that would be the preference of Donald Rumsfeld, Henry Kissinger, Robert Kagan, Richard Armitage, Max Boot, and Hank (Henry) Paulson is not fit to have the power of dog catcher.....much less ever be The President of the U.S.

It is time to stand up and push back!

See: http://caucus99percent.com/content/dr-jill-stein-green-party-presidentia...

up
0 users have voted.

power and to use that power to wage illegal wars on behalf of the corporate overlords.

up
0 users have voted.

"The justness of individual land right is not justifiable to those to whom the land by right of first claim collectively belonged"

Raggedy Ann's picture

I believe it will be truth in due time. The neocon attracts the other neocons - again - it's just a matter of time. Hide and watch - the other moths will soon find the hrc light and buzz around it like the cult devotees they are.

up
0 users have voted.

"The “jumpers” reminded us that one day we will all face only one choice and that is how we will die, not how we will live." Chris Hedges on 9/11

lunachickie's picture

too funny for me to bear. Because seriously:

it will be truth in due time.

NO ONE would be surprised.

True statements.

up
0 users have voted.

The regular Tea-GOP voters hate the Bush administration. This is why Trump is the nominee. Does Hillary really think that running away from progressives and into the arms of neocons is a way to get more votes?

OK so Rumsfeld isn't supporting Hillary. But Henry the K is a very close friend, PNAC co-founder Robert Kagan is an enthusiastic supporter, and the Hillary campaign is actively seeking endorsements from Condi Rice, James Baker, and George Shultz.

up
0 users have voted.

"We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty."

Raggedy Ann's picture

Oh, that wasn't a rhetorical question was it? Unknw

up
0 users have voted.

"The “jumpers” reminded us that one day we will all face only one choice and that is how we will die, not how we will live." Chris Hedges on 9/11

Is, of course, Hillary's BFF and longtime lieutenant. There have even been rumors she's an SOS candidate in a Hillary Reign Administration.

up
0 users have voted.

Please help support caucus99percent!

I have zero interest in hearing anything Rumsfeld has to say.

This is about as much use to Never Hillary as an endorsement from Kim Kardashian given Rumsfeld is widely recognized as being one of the worst defense secretaries in US history.

up
0 users have voted.
Thumb's picture

Political Elites Unite - Vote Hillary!

up
0 users have voted.

"Polls don't tell us how well a candidate is doing; Polls tell us how well the media is doing." ~ Me

will be giving each other high-fives over this valued endorsement?

up
0 users have voted.
Bollox Ref's picture

I almost had a seizure!

up
0 users have voted.

Gëzuar!!
from a reasonably stable genius.

I think this is half way around the internet.

up
0 users have voted.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

Hawkfish's picture

The fact that Rumsfeld wasn't on it slipped my mind and the whole thing seemed plausible!

up
0 users have voted.

We can’t save the world by playing by the rules, because the rules have to be changed.
- Greta Thunberg

mimi's picture

but I found it and I can't believe that so many people here, commented in there. The original diary was a request to Bob Johnson to frigging stop calling out the "Good Germans". It was the first time that expression became clear to me and I was already enough "enchanted" with dailykos email paloozaas and other snark and tired of bowing to master snarkist Bob Johnson. I admit that most of the snarky comments and things he (and ek hornbeck) said, I didn't understand anyway.

So, I was wondering, if I might write another one of that sort to those "snarkatistas" who get their "snarkasmen" out of their "snarkadoodles".

Ok, I call you all now the "Good C99p Snarkatistas". I hope that makes you happy. I drink to both of you and me. Prost.
Drinks

Sigh.

Have fun. I am tired of it.
Markos, Ban Snark

up
0 users have voted.
mimi's picture

...with the little people, who don't understand snark? What's so funny about it?

Motivated by hecate's OT today, I grabbed a book that happened to be out of my boxes and at my nightstand. I started to read its prologue. Operation Paperclip: The Secret Intelligence Program that Brought Nazi Scientists to America
Of course immediately I had to stumble over those words:

Six of the twenty one (non nominal) Nazis (who were brought from Germany to the US under the "Operation Paperclip", a secret military contract, starting May 1945) stood trial in Nuremberg, a seventh released without trial under mysterious circumstances, and an eights stood trial in Dachau for regional war crimes. One was a convicted of mass murder and slavery, served some time in prison, was granted clemency, and then hired back by the US Department of Energy. They came to America at the behest of the Joint Chief of Staff.

Some officials believed that by endorsing the Paperclip program they were accepting the lesser of two evils - that if America didn't recruit these scientists, the Soviet Union surely would. Other generals and colonels respected and admired these men and said so.

Hmm, the lesser of two evils, rings a bell, no? I have difficulties to get snarky about it. I guess my snarkometer humor buttons are somewhat stuck. Sorry for that. May be after the election I get me some WD40 lubricant and get them unstuck again.

Sorry for being a snarky-party-pooper.

up
0 users have voted.

The list of neocons and billionaires, from both parties, who haven't endorsed Hillary gets shorter and shorter. How many of them are POC? Hillary is of white privilege, for white privilege, and by the white privileged. dailykos is a total lie.

up
0 users have voted.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

kharma's picture

I noticed that the shit birds at LOF don't find any humor in it...I guess it hits too close to home. If Rumsfeld had endorsed her, we would be hearing how he isn't that bad.

up
0 users have voted.

There is nothing which I dread so much as a division of the republic into two great parties.. This...is to be dreaded as the greatest political evil under our Constitution.--John Adams

lunachickie's picture

of the Party-or-Drop-Dead cyberbullies on blogs like the Daily Kos beating up others over "white privilege" is such a pot/kettle moment, I'm not sure if I can ever go back there. OMG, what a bunch of con-artists.

up
0 users have voted.

there are no artists there IMHO.

up
0 users have voted.

God the Neocons are filling both sides of the aisle

up
0 users have voted.
lunachickie's picture

about that is "it's easier to see"...

the Neocons are filling both sides of the aisle

Pathetic, the bloodthirst with these people...

up
0 users have voted.
gulfgal98's picture

I just went over there to read Subir's post and his tip jar was Hidden. Huh? No sense of humor over at LOF. Nevertheless, I tipped him and recommended his diary. Then I read some of the comments. Yikes! For being on the winning team, those are the most miserable people I have ever seen. They are so full of anger and hostility.

BTW, we were characterized as being dead over here. WTF??? Then another said that he does not hang around here much because we are too serious. Hey, I take that as a compliment. It is like stepping into some sort of twilight zone over there. The cognitive dissonance is just too thick in the air.

I think I might need brain bleach. But I decided to take one for the team here. Wink

up
0 users have voted.

Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

sojourns's picture

She's in everyone's stable!

up
0 users have voted.

"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones."
John Cage