Fellow swampers and others who do not like to get wet (and/or slimy), I have the distinct privilege, no, honor, to introduce to you and anyone else a new course curriculum which may be of use to you if you want to get people in trouble just on your say so. We did invite Hellery Klinton to be our first matriculation speaker, but she respectfully declined when it was made known to Her that AU has no five star accommodations as befitting her Snakeness.

Please pardon my extended absence from the c99 swamp. I promise to make amends for my absence (to which some of you may be replying: "extend your absence further"). I came down with an acute case of writer's block. One of my two twin daughters, Allison or Ellison--I can never tell them apart--summoned help for me, without which this scientific exposition could never have been written.

One of the twins' helpfulness:

Yes, folks, we are taking orders for this new calendar right now. We expect 2018 to be a big year for Hill and Bill. Sorry folks, but the University will not be issuing a Bill Clinton calendar (ask Harvey Weinstein why).

Mandatory display of AU logo:

You know, sometimes even the hardest working alligator can't catch a break. For instance, although I am President of Alligator University (AU), I should be allowed to say whatever I want to. You know like D. John Drumpf, graduate of Python University. Or, like HRC (Hillary Rotten Clinton), who says whatever the F she feels like lying--you know, like Salvador Dali on acid. But no, I have received an admonition from AU's department of rhetoric.

Official Seal of AU.