You know, sometimes even the hardest working alligator can't catch a break. For instance, although I am President of Alligator University (AU), I should be allowed to say whatever I want to. You know like D. John Drumpf, graduate of Python University. Or, like HRC (Hillary Rotten Clinton), who says whatever the F she feels like lying--you know, like Salvador Dali on acid. But no, I have received an admonition from AU's department of rhetoric.

Official Seal of AU.

In view of umbrage taken by certain members of the swamp, I have been reminded of better choices of diction. By the way, I have searched my pantry and find no signs of umbrage. I can't remember what it tastes like, so it must be pretty good because so many people take it when they have a chance.

Eleanor Alligator, chairperson of the rhetoric department at AU is a noted scholar. See picture below

Eleanor is of course the gator lecturing her class on proper diction and forceful presentation. She claims my rhetoric is sometimes too forceful. Imagine that! But diction is another thing.

It appears some members of the AU swamp have taken offense at some of the terminology ejected from my mouth. She gave me some examples on a more polite, shall we say, of declaiming names of certain people or groups. Being the thorough pedant which she is, Eleanor has given me a list of selected terminology, to avoid inflaming the sensibilities of our more sensitive members.

For instance, the newly appropriate term for those with sensitive sensibilities is "crystalized water vapor".

The inherent nastiness of the many aliases of Her Majesty are to discarded in favor of the derivative term "HerM". So from now on, this awful august personage shall be referred to as "Herm". For the complete etymology please look up the greek origins of the word Herm.
In a word, this calls to mind transgender shape changing by EQ the nonce. I am prohibited by my new admonition from explaining what EQ means, but for those interested, samples can be found in my prior writings.

Next comes the truly delicate matter of denominating political parties. Oh, "Green" is mild enough. Democratic Socialists are just rosy. But the main parties of our unrepresentative sensitive, responsive government must not be further referred to as has been my wont for, oh say, the past year, when I became "woke". My brother Alphonse is responsible for my wokeness due to his vigorous massaging of my cranium with a log.

Now to explain the recommended new terminology, a little background on nomenclature is warranted. Now the PTB (Parties That Be) can facilely be denoted as "Ds" or "Rs". Please keep that underlying basis clear for what follows.

The picture is worth a thousand words, yes? So, from the Archives, I have culled the following classic photos of Partisan symbols.

First, representing the R party is this mascot:

Representing the D party is another valuable portrait:

My attorney, who is coincidentally is my brother Alphonse, has urged I insert the following verbiage to avoid any type of legal embroilments or vaporizing water crystals.

The initials D and R should not be inferred to represent, imply, condemn, complain views of any actual political parties. Any such inference is not the author's intent, even though, readers may have different opinion. The servants, agents, serfs, and other members of D or R are specifically not to be compared to any political party. The host of this website does not endorse or acquiesce to such unwarranted attribution of identity or association.

After much pondering, (pun: pond-ering, you know like in swamp), plus discussion with Dean Eleanor, we have arrived at a suitable combined terminology which shall apply to either or both D and/or R parties:

Forthwith, Ds' and Rs' names will be conflated to DR. This is a compound word derivation. I am required for the sake of full disclosure to relate the full meaning of the origins of DR nomenclature:

Diabolical Rodents.

So please accept my humble apologia and pledge to uphold the new linguistic model now presented. Should any violations of this new rhetoric be observed in my writings, please refer such complaints to the Board of Trustees of AU. Although, this rhetorical suggestion should not be construed as in any way binding upon other users, lurkers, trolls to this site, the Board of Trustees urges that such personages, collectively or individually, refrain from such pejorative writings.

Now, I must retire to my swamp, as my supply of polysyllabic diction is exhausted. And I have a headache.

Yours truly,

Alligator Ed