Alligator University Medical School discovers cause of Trump Derangement syndrome

Please pardon my extended absence from the c99 swamp. I promise to make amends for my absence (to which some of you may be replying: "extend your absence further"). I came down with an acute case of writer's block. One of my two twin daughters, Allison or Ellison--I can never tell them apart--summoned help for me, without which this scientific exposition could never have been written.

One of the twins' helpfulness:

Fortunately it was a left hand because as everyone knows, alligators are sinister. Once I got used to the pale scrawny thing which was attached by the hand surgery team at AU, I was allowed to tour the Medical School Campus. There it was: the etiology of the dreaded, and as far as I know, incurable Trump Derangement Syndrome.

The pathophysiology generally runs in three phases:

In December 2016, Justin Raimondo divided the "syndrome" into three stages; in the first, those who "lose all sense of proportion," next, they experience "a profound effect on ... vocabulary" and begin to "speak a distinctive language consisting solely of hyperbole," and, in the final stage, the afflicted "lose the ability to distinguish fantasy from reality."

Thus, deprived of capacity for reason or any semblance of coherent thought, the afflicted, primarily Dimocrats, foam at the mouth, often fearfully shaking, spluttering, incontinent of reason. The symptoms seem clear cut enough, but what is the cause? Painstaking microbiological research done by my former colleagues at AUMS have revealed the cause:

Q Fever

And here is the culprit. As is explained by a leading medical source, Q Fever

is a disease caused by infection with Coxiella burnetii,[1][2] a bacterium that affects humans and other animals. This organism is uncommon, but may be found in cattle, sheep, goats, and other domestic mammals, including cats and dogs. The infection results from inhalation of a spore-like small-cell variant, and from contact with the milk, urine, feces, vaginal mucus, or semen of infected animals. Rarely, the disease is tick-borne.[3] The incubation period is 9–40 days. Humans are vulnerable to Q fever, and infection can result from even a few organisms.[3] The bacterium is an obligate intracellular pathogenic parasite.

Clinical course:

The most common manifestation is flu-like symptoms with abrupt onset of fever, malaise, profuse perspiration, severe headache, muscle pain, joint pain, loss of appetite, upper respiratory problems, dry cough, pleuritic pain, chills, confusion, and gastrointestinal symptoms, such as nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. About half of infected individuals exhibit no symptoms*.

* Those unaffected tend to be progressives or Independents or Repugnants. Strangely, this disease is unheard of in Russia. Previously, however, Russia had a plague of Putin Derangement Syndrome, which was quickly quelled using a lead-based inoculation by the GRU to all sufferers.

Cattle, goats, and sheep are most commonly infected, and can serve as a reservoir for the bacteria.

Strangely, despite having more sheep than people, this malady is unknown in New Zealand! Five Eyes Medical Services Ltd. has been commissioned to determine what, if any natural deterrent, exists in Kiwiland to prevent such infection.

Back in the US, however, this disease is rampant. We don't have to harken back to the days of Typhoid Mary to discover the recent outbreak's roots (ca. 2015 and continuing).

The primer spreader of this pandemic is a wayward shepHERdess, whose likeness is captured in the below illustration:

Q fever has afflicted many in the Department of Injustice and the subordinate agency Famously Botched Investigation.

An unusually severe outbreak has occurred on Capitol Hill, not far from the D.C. Swamp. Despite several tours of duty cleaning swamps there, I was unaffected.

This pandemic has the society crushing potential of the Black Plague. Note, this plague was spread by fleas shed from Rattus rattus hordes fleeing the steppes of central Russia. Perhaps this is why the DemonRATs are so angry at Russian RATs for not staying within their borders. Of course, War Hawks (Neoconni Americansis) both red and blue, are unable to discern such imaginary things like borders (or freedom or even breathing).

The degree of depopulation, although admittedly small in number, may be having a profound effect on the internal dynamics of our national society. A trusted scholar has rendered a picture of the New American Order. In this somewhat complex representation of our evolving society, we may clearly see the central prominence of Q Fever as it affects the political classes.

How to Eradicate Trump Derangement Syndrome

There are two generally accepted ways to eradicate an otherwise incurable disease:
1. Eliminate the Cause
2. Eliminate susceptible populations.

Part 1. The good news: the illness will cease to exist in January 2024, from constitutional causes.
The bad news: the illness will continue until January 2024.

Part 2. The population susceptible to TDS will cease to exist between 2018 and 2024.

No animals (other than the one-handed man) was harmed in the production of this report. Unfortunately, TDS is currently untreatable, so afflicted individuals will have to use their health insurance in order to afford care. Insurance company representatives have informed me that coverage Will be denied on the basis of stupidity, which is a pre-existing condition.

Please donate to our bird sanctuary.

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Citizen Of Earth's picture

Oh wait. You are fuckin serious! Hahaha.
Trump is a cancer on the country. Bent on tearing it in two. Fuck Trump.

The Washington Post Fact Checker found last week that Trump has now made 4,229 false or misleading claims so far in his presidency — an average of nearly 7.6 such claims per day, and an increase of 978 in just two months.
Trump at a precarious moment in his presidency: Privately brooding and publicly roaring
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-at-a-precarious-moment-in-...

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Donnie The #ShitHole Douchebag. Fake Friend to the Working Class. Real Asshole.

Alligator Ed's picture

@Citizen Of Earth I leave this to the discernment of our readers. In any situation with two protagonists, there are three factors: your side, his/her side, and the the truth. I come not to praise Trump but to bury Demonrats, Repugnants. Politicians who tell the truth, you say! Where does one find them and how much do they cost?

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while the pickpockets work the crowd.

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@Snode @Snode I don’t think Trump is especially smart but he understands the con game. It’s all about distraction and giving the peanut gallery a villain to boo.

Edit to add, I really don’t think he’s all that good at the con Game. I think he’s way more impulsive than strategic. But the media will breathlessly report on every dumb tweet he makes so he really doesn’t have to work too hard. But I do think he understands media manipulation well enough to be aware of something is going to wind people up.

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Idolizing a politician is like believing the stripper really likes you.

Alligator Ed's picture

@Dr. John Carpenter You, sir, are perspicacious enough to correctly observe the symptomatology of the long con. The Demonrats, Repugnants, and especially the MSM are incapable of recognizing such.

As Napoleon said: "Never interrupt an enemy who is making a mistake".

The correct treatment for this malady infecting the body politick is to "let's you and him fight".

Remember a good blood-letting was the standard of care in the 18th century.

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Lookout's picture

...we can always do with a little help from our friends.

Isn't it interesting how the dims have become the McCarthyites of today? Insane then, insane now.

Jimmy does a pretty good job debunking it in this 5 min clip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6slLzba3UE

Jimmy and the crew skewer Dan Coats russiagate bs in this 14 min clip this week
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odDAqODiN8c

Hope all is well in the swamp!

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

Alligator Ed's picture

@Lookout Yes, those nefarious Rookies are going to "message" us. Ooooh! For my part, a massage would be more appreciated. Of course, "we" have the black holes of information at our beck and call: Fakebook, Twatter, YooToob, and the New York Slimes.

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Lookout's picture

@Alligator Ed

youtube, twitter, and facebook were merging. Gonna call it -

you twit face

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

gulfgal98's picture

being either deranged over Trump or defending Trump, both the Dems and Republicans continue to rob us blind. The Resisters are certainly not resisting when it comes to helping their big donors.

With the help of 139 Democrats, the House of Representatives on Thursday easily rammed through the 2019 National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), which—if it passes the Senate—will hand President Donald Trump $717 billion in military spending.

It is all a dog and pony show while the pick pockets run wild through the audience.

Who was it that promoted Trump via the pied piper strategy? And who was it that gave Trump millions of dollars of free advertising as part of the pied piper strategy? And who was it that cheated Bernie voters out of a fair election? These very people are who created Trump and made his road to election easier. None of them has any right to complain.

Trump is not the problem. He simply a symptom of the huge problem in our political system.

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

@gulfgal98 maybe I did!...nope, you wrote it. Two thumbs up!

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gulfgal98's picture

@Snode You did write that. Sorry for plagiarizing (subconsciously apparently). Blush

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy