If All Ads Were Like Politics
Submitted by NinoTheMindBender on Sat, 06/04/2016 - 3:06pm
Buy our car. It doesn't break down nearly as often as the other models.
Eat at our restaurant. People don't get food poisoning nearly as often here as that other place.
Our airplanes don't crash nearly as often as the other guy's.
Our bottled water is less contaminated than our competitors.
Sure you get salmonella with our soup, but the other company give you botulism.
Care to add some more?
Comments
Here's one:
Our life boats don't have nearly as many holes as the other guys', jump on board!
More to the point, our
More to the point, our lifeboats are self bailing. Those holes are only for drainage and part of our superior design.
What? you want plugs for the "drain" holes? What kind of purist pony wanter are you? And besides, if the holes are plugged, how will the water drain out?
They say that there's a broken light for every heart on Broadway
They say that life's a game and then they take the board away
They give you masks and costumes and an outline of the story
And leave you all to improvise their vicious cabaret-- A. Moore
Not an ad, but ...
While interviewing for a prestigious job, one could say "Hire me because that other guy is worse." Oh, wait a minute. That's Hillary's entire campaign strategy.
Love it!
"Just call me Hillbilly Dem(exit)."
-H/T to Wavey Davey
Yeah
that was kind of the point.
Our pills...
only give you erections lasting more than three hours.
The current working assumption appears to be that our Shroedinger's Cat system is still alive. But what if we all suspect it's not, and the real problem is we just can't bring ourselves to open the box?
But wait!
If you are one of thee first 100 callers, we will also throw in a case of STD's (s&h extra)!
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.--Aristotle
If there is no struggle there is no progress.--Frederick Douglass
And our STD's...
(sorry, don't want to go there).
The current working assumption appears to be that our Shroedinger's Cat system is still alive. But what if we all suspect it's not, and the real problem is we just can't bring ourselves to open the box?
A whole bunch of different thoughts got jumbled.
My mind was still on politics, so word association with your comment was dysfunction. My mind kept relating to STD's as super delegates, cabinet members or congress people. i could not sort it all out, so I just hit Send.
Meanwhile, someone in government seems to think STD's are something good as they infected a ton of black servicemen with it back when and left it untreated, and those in charge refuse to teach today's teens how to avoid infections much less how to get treatment.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.--Aristotle
If there is no struggle there is no progress.--Frederick Douglass
...are Curable n/t
We are selling manure. All
We are selling manure. All they have to offer is shit.
They say that there's a broken light for every heart on Broadway
They say that life's a game and then they take the board away
They give you masks and costumes and an outline of the story
And leave you all to improvise their vicious cabaret-- A. Moore
This is a real one.
I don't remember the name of the drug but during the fast-talking disclaimers at the end of one of it's commercials the voice over actually said, "Now causes less severe-bleeding".
The people, united, will never be defeated.