Open Tummler 07/05/16

Not so long after I moved up here, they hung the Indian in the jail. Sheriff's deputies. They hung him. Three of them. As inevitably occurs, sooner or later, with everyone who works in law-enforcement, these men, they had decided, that the law, it was them. Not the statutes. Not the courts. Not the system. Not the process. Them. And, according to their law, as they conceived and decreed it, sometimes, someone who came into their jail, that person, needed to be dead.

The first two men they killed, they were locked up on serious charges. However, due to the bungling Barney Fifes and hapless Hamilton Bugers, in the cop shop and in the district attorney's office, it was not at all certain, that they would be convicted. There was also, of course, the possibility they were actually innocent. But these three law jockeys, they paid that no mind. They went ahead and killed them. First the one. Then, a couple years later, the other. "Suicide." Duly pronounced so, by the county coroner. A "doctor," allowed only to examine dead people. Because any live person, upon whom he might "practice" medicine, that person, surely, and soon, would be quite dead.

The Indian, he was not in on any serious charge. He'd been picked up but for public drunkenness. Generally, such a person, he would just be held overnight, and then be released. But, for some reason, the three deputies, they decided to hang him. It's not certain, to this day, why. Maybe, posits one theory, he gave them some lip. The Indian, he was known to have a mouth on him. And, all law-enforcement officers, they believe that they possess, a natural-born right, to harass, intimidate, arrest, beat, and sometimes even kill, anyone who gives them any grief, whatsoever. Who, thereby, refuse to acknowledge, their innate and essential godhood. Bestowed by the badge and the gun. For sure, these deputies, they figured that no one would care. That the Indian had "suicided." For, why would they? After all: he was, just, an Indian.

However, since the last time these men, they had suicided someone in the jail, M had come into the county. I previously wrote a little about M here. M, he was running Legal Services, a hideous communist conspiracy designed to ensure that poor people receive "equal justice under the law." And, all and everywhere, he was busy making a stink. Now, he proceeded to make a stink, about the Indian.

The Indian, it had been Officially said, he had hung himself, and with his own belt. However, M discovered that, during booking, the Indian had surrendered his belt to the property law-jockey. There was an official record, denoting such. How, M wondered aloud—and then in a newspaper—could the Indian hang himself, with a belt that was stashed away in a sheriff's property locker? The thin blue line, then, of course, it held—as it almost always does—and the deputy who had recorded, in writing, the surrendering of the belt, he hangdoggedly confessed that he had "miswrote"; that, actually, the Indian, he went back into the cell, fully armed, with his belt.

M, he next wanted to know—and he wanted to know this in a newspaper—why the Indian, as well as the other two hangers, they had all hung themselves, in the very same cell. A dingy, remote, eyeless little tomb, tucked away in the very, back of beyond, dripping bowels, of the county dungeon. There was, for sure, no reason for the Indian to be back there, M pointed out. He should have been in the loud and crowded drunk tank, with all the rest of the overnight inebriates. How did he get back there? And why? Was the sheriff's department, M wanted to know, maintaining—and employing—some sort of "hangin' cell"?

That was too much for the old boys, who ran the county. "Hangin' cell"—that just sounded too much like something that could get loose in a newspaper. Not just the local papers—those could be handled, or at least borne—but a newspaper in some place like San Francisco.

The old boys, then as now, they lived in mortal fear, of some sniggering scribe, journeying northeast, 170 miles or so out of San Francisco, to roam around their county a bit, and then going back to write something that portrayed them all as goofs and geeks and pinheads and buffoons. Wildly frailing away. On their Deliverance banjos.

They were still reeling, the old boys, from Herb Caen's blithe three-dot observation, in his San Francisco Chronicle column, that the county's supposed seat of taste and sophistication, it was actually the sort of rube-burg that proudly placed Velveeta in the gourmet section of the supermarkets. If they had conference.jpgbeen medieval Japanese samurai, the old boys, they would all have had to slit their bellies: so great, at this, was their shame.

Then there was the time the physics professor at the university, he ran utterly wild, and foisted upon his students a final exam that required them to answer problems involving the delivery of napalm upon Southeast Asian human beings. The school moved to fire him—tenure or no—but then he got into the national newsmagazines, one of which had the bad taste to note that the same school had fired from its faculty, as unacceptable mutants, Raymond Carver and John Gardner; both men then had the gall to go on to become respected, rewarded writers. So the physics nutwad, he had to be allowed, to continue to wander the halls, in his dirty bare feet, and his scraggly moss-beard, and his brazen, unapologetic, communism.

The old boys, they knew M had been in San Francisco. Where he had attended San Francisco State. From which he was swept into the pokey, by Mad Sam Hayakawa & Co. Together with some 700 of his fellows. That M, he then taught himself the law, and eventually represented himself, successfully. That he then went to the law school, and got himself the Degree, and the License. And now, for reasons passeth understanding, he had come to their county. Where he was ruining all of their lives: running off at the mouth, and in the newspapers, about the Indian. And, probably, they reasoned fearfully, he knew some snotty reporter, back there in San Francisco. Who might soon be Writing the Articles, about "the hangin' cell." And that, it would surely be worse, even, than the Velveeta, or the nutty napalm professor.

And so, the old boys, they pulled the plug, on the sheriff.

He had been in office for more than 25 years, this fellow. Elected, and then elected again, and then etc., etc., etc., because he had first been some sort of hometown baseball hero, and then, in WWII, some sort of overseas war hero. He was not much interested in sheriffing, this guy, and he really didn't know anything about it. What he was interested in, was pancakes. Pancakes: these he knew a lot about. He had a pancake wagon—"Cap'n Bob's—which he lugged all over the county, serving up pancakes, for the betterment of this white-people cause, and that. He meanwhile let his lieutenants run the department. Which is why the department was recurrently the happy playland of stone incompetents. And, now: stone killers.

The old boys, they told the sheriff, that he was going to be put out to grass. The sheriff, his primary worry, upon hearing this news, was that he would lose the pancake wagon. The old boys, they then reassured the sheriff, that he could still be the pancake man. Relieved, he agreed to no longer be the sheriff.

Then the old boys, they told him that the three killer deputies, they were going to have to leave the department. The old boys, they knew 1398366039000-Screen-Shot-2014-04-24-at-14703-PM.jpgthat deputies were killing people, there in the hangin' cell, and they also knew who the deputies were. They would have preferred such a thing not occur, but the sheriff's department, it was doing what all good law-enforcement agencies in the United States are designed and intended to do—protect the important white people, and their property—so why make waves?

But now the three killers, they had made their own waves. By getting sloppy—as all serial killers, of whatever persuasion, are usually, eventually, apt to do. And so. They had to go.

The sheriff, he was stunned. He was about the only person in the county, who did not know, that men in his employ, were killing people, out in his jail. He was a nice fellow, this sheriff, but quite dim: he rendered Chauncey Gardiner, the functional equivalent of Albert Einstein. Probably, he was scrambled in the war. Best guess.

So the sheriff, he declined to run, come the next election. And the three deputies, they were plucked out of the jail, and set before desks. Where they doodled and dawdled. Until, one by one, over a period of a couple years or so, so as not to make it too obvious, they all left the department.

And the old boys, they never had to read, about any "hangin' cell," in any San Francisco newspaper.

Meanwhile, another lawyer, P, he started sniffing around the jail, and eventually he signed up a passel of inmates, in a class-action suit, that argued the place, it was more or less worse than the Bastille.

P, he was a great guy. My neighbor for a number of years; so even-tempered, he never once lost his shit, when my pig, she would get loose, and go over there, and knock his house off its foundation.

He needed that sort of patience. Did P. Because it took forever, for his suit, to wind its way through the courts. But, in the end, he secured an Official judgement that, yes, the county jail, it was indeed worse than the Bastille. The jail was then put under civilian oversight. Of a board of which P was the head. He had permanent access to all records, personnel, inmates, at any and all times. He received no remuneration for this. He just did it because it was right. And, as a result, no more Indians, or anyone else, hangs in that jail.

P, he died a number of years ago—for no reason, for he lived right; but, this life, while it can be good, is not fair at all. And then his jail-oversight position, it passed on to one of his proteges. And so, she, today: she does the right thing, too.

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtkSmczvWac]

M, he regrets ever going into the law. "I was deep in the Owsley network," he moans. "I was doing more good for people there, than I could ever do in the law."

He sees, now, that he got snookered into the law, through getting arrested. "That's how the State gets you," he says. "At the university, we had all these amazing community programs. We were really out there making a difference. With the people. But, as soon as they arrested all of us, our focus immediately shifted to the outrage of our own arrests. All those programs eventually dried up. We were all swallowed up in the law."

Before I ever met M, I experienced the same. A bunch of us occupied the administration building, protesting the arming of the campus police. The new campus police chief, he had come up here after serving 25 years with the Los Angeles Police Department. And so of course he believed his new men should be armed at all times, because there would for sure be some Negroes about, who would need to be shot.

We thought this absurd. The place was a freaking cowtown. It didn't need no guns on its campus. Absurd, then, especially, when, in the first week that the chief's men received their firearms, one of his Barney Fifes, he shot his desk.

This desk-shooting nimrod, he lived down the road from the commune in which I was then immersed in the three essential food groups: wine, women, song. And, whenever, heading into town, we passed his place, my friend K and I, we would express disgust.

Unfortunately, these disgust-expressions, they had a felonious effect, on both my brother, and K2, the latter the math whiz they removed from out of the school and marrooned onto Mare Island, at the tender age of 15 . . . until he realized they were working him on nuke-rain projects, and so he abruptly quit. Now, he sat up all night, smoking Viceroys, and drinking 40-ouncers, and laughing quietly, and pretty much half-mad, as he read Dosteyevsky, in the original Russian.

Anyway. One night, K2 and my brother, they journeyed down the 5.radical-police.gifroad—in K's car—and put some sort of firecrackers in the desk-shooter's mailbox, and blew it up.

The next day, K and I, driving by, observed a shattered stump, where the mailbox and its post used to be. We wondered what had happened. Eventually, we were clued in. K, he was not happy, that his car, it had been employed in various felonies, and without his knowledge.

But—shit—if I were to here list this man's felonies—witting or no—I would be here all night. But I think that not hardly fair. Especially since, these days, K, he is the chief lawyer, for a mammoth state organization, and one involving children.

He was a serious and devoted consumer of LSD, back in the day, was K, and the Grateful Dead, in his world, they played at all times. Once he and I went to a gig by Reconstruction, a Garcia spin-off band, before which we ate psilocybin mushrooms grown by a chemistry student at UC Davis, which completely kicked our minds right out of our bodies: K spent three hours standing three feet from Garcia, just Staring, while I rewound to the primordial sea, became the spark of life, and then lived all life, leisurely, through all its terran permutations, to Now. And then there was the day, before a Dead show, we snorted cocaine, in her absolute absence, off his wife's bible . . . .

Anyway. After five or six months or so, they got sick of us there, in their administration building, and so they called in the cops, and they had us all arrested. (I'd actually already been arrested there once. For softly blowing a kazoo. Which I consider, and without doubt, one of my finest hours.)

It had always been a ludicrous enterprise: halfway through our occupation, the administration moved from one building, to another; so, then, did we. They had an open house; so, too, did we. The night of the arrests, a couple people from a local anarchist art collective, the Batwingers, who had never been involved in the occupation, showed up specifically to get arrested. And thus, in the newspapers, it was soberly noted, that one of the miscreants taken into custody, her name was Connie Lingus.

I wasn't an out Batwinger, then, despite the instinctive kazoo-blowing; I thought, then, that Politics, it actually Mattered. That veil, it was lifted about a year or so after the occupation, when I moved to the mountain. And then, I looked over. By the time I came down, I knew—for sure—there are no Politics. And, like the aging Michael Corleone, I enter fit, whenever I am dragged, back, into all that, goddam, nonsense.

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPw-3e_pzqU]

Anyway. M was right. As soon as we all got popped, there in the occupation, all we could think about, was fighting the Outrage, of our arrests. We could very easily have just returned to the administration bulding, and occupied it anew. But no. No one even thought of it. It was like a switch had been pulled, in our brains. It became all about us. Our arrests.

"Watch," M said, during Occupy. "The State will let them have at it, for a while. But then the State will start the arrests. It can be any bullshit little misdemeanor. It will have the same effect, as some serious felony. Then, it won't be about the one-percent anymore. It will be about them. Watch."

And so, he was right. As soon as the arrests started, the one percent, the ninety-nine percent—that all went by the wayside. The big Outrage, now, was the injustice of the arrests.

And so, Occupy, it dried up. And it blew away.

"I wish there was a way to tell them," M had said. "But there isn't. There were old lefties, who tried to tell us, there at SF State, but rectangle.jpgwe couldn't hear them. Everybody has to learn it for themselves."

Owsley Stanley, he had moved to Australia, where he hoped to ride out what he expected to be an imminent planetary pole-shift. But, instead, he died in a mundane car accident. However, his elemental nature, it remains. As the Dead's Mickey Hart has said: "He left an ample legacy. LSD is very delicate. It doesn't like heat or light. It has to be well kept. It's all how it's stored. But I can't tell you where it is. I'd have to kill you."

M, also, truth be told, did never fully leave, his Owsley connection. He, too, has, secreted away, some Stores.

"So your legacy, it is there," I try to reassure M, when he goes on about how he should never have shifted from Owsley, to the law. "Ready for release. When the time is right."

"The time is always right," he moans, "for acid. Never right, for the law."

"And there," I tell him, "you're wrong. For you couldn't save that one Indian. But you made sure there were no more such Indians. You did that. You and P."

"Yeah," he replies. "But why did it have to be me?"

"Because," I say, "it's just like that sergeant-major says, there in Zulu. When the doomed youth asks him, 'Why is it us? Why us?' And the sergeant-major, he replies, 'Because we're here, lad. And nobody else. Just us.'"

(This is only the first half, of what was intended to be here; all but a mere introduction, to a planned prolonged simmering screed about the sort of Indian cases I work in the criminal law today. But the piece got completely away from me. And it is already so much longerer than anyone in today's twitverse would want to read. And so, the rest, it will have to wait. Until the Open Sesame, of this coming Saturday. Selah.)

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29f4hQkM7nY]

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riverlover's picture

I was no subversive then, other to become allied with the nascent LBG community (T in Indiana would have been pushing it, I hope one of my friends eventually did that T move). I was straight. But I had sympathy and they had good parties. My female roommate and I would go together, for cover.

I had another friend who was a homeless student of Chemistry and slept in the Chem Building every night. In the early 70's. I never quite understood his situation, he was a mild druggie and homelessness did not happen to students at Indiana University. Lost track, I graduated a year earlier.

Lying in bed yesterday pre-dawn I checked the old memory banks. I asked myself. what is the measurement of an angstrom? I looked it up later, that memory has been retained: 0.1 nanometers. 10e-10. Teeny. Bigger than a picometer.

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hecate's picture

stopped going to the college. Because, out in the world, we were Learning.

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riverlover's picture

My younger sister the Spare, who was allowed to be an Artist. I was not, so I had to go all the way through 5 more years of grad school and then spent to rest of my work life as an advanced post-doctoral researcher. I picked up Life along the way. I am much wiser now. Somehow upper-middle class charity did not take with me. I Learned that much. I have both sympathy and empathy now.

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hecate's picture

have gone all the way into the college thing. So to be speaking, now, fluently, Gaelic, Greek, Goddess, and Schrodinger's Cat.

I think it would have been a lot easier. Then this blundering blindly, alone, along the Whatever path.

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riverlover's picture

all done by feel. Whatever.

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hecate's picture

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martianexpatriate's picture

animation. What I do is normally done by an entire team of people who went to college.
Generally you would have a modeler or two, a rigger to set up the bones, someone else might be working on texturing and mapping to color the models. An animator would set up animations.

I learned to do all of those jobs in about six years, and I did it while being thrown out of one place after another.

I think it may have taken too long.

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hecate's picture

you're doing it right, it always takes too long. And then, it becomes, magic.

See, for instance, Douglas Trumbull.

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeaVwcypiSs]

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martianexpatriate's picture

that you don't have time to finish doing anything with the knowledge before you die, it was too long.

That's what too long is.

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martianexpatriate's picture

When I started down this course, I did so with a plan. And I knew that it would be very hard.

But I didn't know just how hard. I didn't know how bad things can really get. I thought somewhere along the way somebody would try to treat my PTSD. I didn't know the whole safety net was going to crash around me and I was going to watch each of my friends die.

I had no idea just how bad things were. Sometimes I wonder how this country can live with itself.

But I can go a little further.

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hecate's picture

designed helicopters four centuries before they were built.

Bruno burned at the stake because he explained 400 years too soon what the universe Is.

Robert Stone, in A Flag For Sunrise, he saw this:

"When I was preparing to be whatever it is I've become I was sent to work in a hospital. Comfort the dying. I remember the mortuary there—it was very Victorian. Neo-Renaissance. In the foyer there was an inscription in Latin. 'Let smiles cease,' it said, 'let laughter flee. This is the place where the dead help the living.'"

The older man in the group got to his feet muttering.

"Bummer!" he shouted at Egan. His heavy face grew red with anger; he raised cupped hands to amplify his voice, and screamed. "Bummer!"

"I'll describe a picture to you," Egan told his congregation. "I'm sure you’re familiar with it. A group of men are standing over a pile of corpses. They're smiling and they have guns. Some of them have tied handkerchiefs across their faces but not to give themselves the raffish air of banditti—because of the smell."

The priest wiped his mouth with his sleeve and took a cautious step forward. "That's the big picture, children. That's how it is now. That's why you see that picture every week in all the magazines. You know—there are variations, the people, and the uniforms come in different colors, but it's always the same picture."

Around them the silences and the darkness deepened. Ramon nuts pattered to the ground through a web of leafy branches, making a sound like soft rain.

"Now why," Egan asked, "are we made to see this picture week after week until it's imprinted on the backs of our eyes and we have it before us dreaming and waking?"

No one answered him.

"Will these dead help the living?" he asked. "Are we to seek the living among the dead? What does it mean?

"And yet," he said, "and yet—where?" He opened his eyes and peered at them across the firelight. "Because you can stare into the faces of the dead—I've been doing it for years, I ought to know—and you won't see anything. Anything more than plain death, I mean. You can look as sharp as you like, you can pray for a sign, for something, for the slightest hint of something . . . more. Not forthcoming.

"You can look into the dead face of the world, try to catch it unawares—no good. You keep looking, you tell yourself you've seen something, some little imitation, you know, of something . . . living. The Living. But it's no good. You won't. It won't reveal itself that way."

He had been standing, swaying, dangerously close to the fire. The heat warned him away.

"I mean—you look outward. To the stars, to the farthest nebulae. Not a sign. Or you look in. Close your eyes and look down from the outside in and what have you got? Blisters. Skin, eh? Flesh, parasites, sour guts and a little concupiscence. Then we're down among our several intoxications and delusions and we find our minds, the little devils, the devious protean things. Anything more? A glimmer?"

Some of them sat with their eyes closed looking in. Others stared at Egan or into the fire.

"Maybe yes," Egan said. "Maybe, eh? Who knows down in that mess? But maybe there is something. A little shard of light. What is it?

"It's the why and wherefore," the priest said, "that little radiant thing. I've never seen it, you know, but it has to be there. It's the life. The Life. There's all this death and this dying and it's the only difference. It's the only difference things make," he told them.

"There aren't angels,” Egan said. "There's none of that. Thrones. Dominions. All that business—it's rubbish. But there's life. There’s the Living among the dead. I mean, you can't ever quite see it, can you? You'd hardly know it was there but it has to be, doesn't it? It's only mislaid.”

He was dizzy, his chest felt hollow. He steadied himself against the stone again.

"Because it's there—everything's all right."

He tried to see each of them among the shadows and flickering light.

"You have to try and find it, see?" Egan said. "If you can’t find it you have to believe in it. If you can't believe in it you have to hope you will. If you can't hope then all you can do is love the idea of it. Love it at a distance if that's the best you can do, children. Love it like a secret lover."

He seemed perplexed by their silence. He walked around the fire into the semicircle they had formed.

"It’s the only meaning in all of things," he said. "There aren't any others."

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Simply thank you.

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Only connect. - E.M. Forster

jwa13's picture

decided that it was time to go back to the college (albeit, a different one) to comprehend the words and framework for what I had been seeing, but not always understanding, out there.

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When Cicero had finished speaking, the people said “How well he spoke”.
When Demosthenes had finished speaking, the people said “Let us march”.

Alison Wunderland's picture

I hope you're both well this misty morning. I'm actually really "out" now. I'd been dreading facing the neighbors. Turns out they already knew or strongly suspected. WTF? I'm the last one to know.

The weekend was lotsa fun, 2 BBQs. Shot my diet to hell and gone - 4 fucking pounds! Jeebus! I'll have to put myself on tofu and water for a week. Bad

Glad the Fourth is over. Had no idea we still had so many rednecks here. It sounded like we were having our own personal war right outside the Chateau.

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hecate's picture

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riverlover's picture

but cut back on salt. I am doing that (no more Goldfish!). Might work for bp too! Could you be "tasteful" for the 'hood to inform them gently?

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Alison Wunderland's picture

I was kidding about the tofu, and ramen is supposed to be loaded with ldl, or hdl, or sumfin - the bad one. I always get them confused. Instead I make hummus with lotza garlic and alfalfa sprouts, and sprouted flax seed. Some people say phytoestrogens are bullshit, but whatever, until I start HRT in the Fall. Tastes good though.

The 'hood took it all in stride. In fact they were relieved and wondered what took me so long to realize what they've know for some time. (I really am a ditz, it turns out.)

SWPUWM is looking forward to a "compassionate conservative crossover-er." You know, kinder, gentler? I'm in a better mood than I've been since [insert long time span here].

Keep the Faith, Babes! and Up the Revolution!

Alison

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jwa13's picture

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When Cicero had finished speaking, the people said “How well he spoke”.
When Demosthenes had finished speaking, the people said “Let us march”.

riverlover's picture

Facilities Notice:

This notice is to inform you that starting on Tuesday, July 5, 2016 a small team of Building Care folks will be changing out light bulbs in Schurman Hall, VRT, VEC and CPC. This effort is part of the LED lighting upgrade project for Cornell University. We apologize for the short notice.

The purpose of this effort is to cost effectively reduce the energy use in multiple Contract Colleges facilities as well as reduce routine maintenance and operating expenses and provide consistent light levels and colors over time. The project will eliminate fluorescent lamp recycle fees as well as hazardous waste cleanup fees resulting from fluorescent lamp breakage. In addition, the project will reduce the University’s greenhouse gas impacts as prescribed in the Trustee-approved Climate Action Plan. This project also meets the intent of the facilities initiatives of the Administrative Streamlining Program (ASP), in which energy conservation was specifically targeted as an opportunity for long term savings. The project will reduce billed electric cost and electric use

Project Impact: All 48” fluorescent light bulbs will be replaced in the corridors, stairwells, rest rooms, offices and laboratories with LED bulbs. Please allow access to your areas when required. Work will begin in the public areas and continue through other areas. It’s anticipated that this effort will take approximately two weeks to complete.

-------I am looking for LED replacements of 21" under-cabinet fluorescents, and they don't make LED equivalents. I have a very annoying ballst hum, but am no electrician. Project in project planning mode.

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hecate's picture

is on the left side of your head.

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47ocjcFwkXI]

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Lookout's picture

Took me 8 years to finish my under-grad. I dropped out about every other year. Those dropped out years are when I learned the most. Guess I mastered the school game and finished 2 other degrees in 5 more years.

I feel lucky to have experienced the sixties (and can remember some of it). The times encouraged a social conscience. I like to think I've carried that with me along the way.

I enjoyed your memories hecate.

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

martianexpatriate's picture

The sixties did encourage a lot of people to develop a social conscience. I'm not sure how many people appreciate that the time we live in encourage people not to have a social conscience.

The funny thing about this 'free speech' we have is that we've developed what I think of as a kind of passive censorship. In theory you can print or say what you like, but all the money is in a few hands, so there are certain kind of films that just never get made, and a very consistent develops in the media. Its a big part of how things got this way.

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mimi's picture

that happened back then for just understanding the facts you touch in your essays ... there is so much in it I would love to read about, but it's not easy for me to find them. I went over the image searches in google to get back to sites that talk about those stories, but it's still not easy to connect the dots of those to your writing. Or it would take some days to do so. I like your essays just because I can sense that what is "in there" are clues for me to understand that culture and era of the sixties and seventies anti-war movement. One day I will take the time to "research" it. Wink

Good Morning and have a good day, all.

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hecate's picture

aren't any "facts"; there are only "stories." My view, anyway.

For instance: I touched upon quite a number of people, once or future personally known to me, in this piece.

But, I have no doubt, that, if I were to ring them up, and have them relate to me, their remembrances of these same events, their recountings, they would be, in some substantial ways, quite a bit different.

Because, that's just the way it are.

"Reality," it is what we make of it. And we are making it, and remaking it, all the time. With every breath. We take.

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZICJ2ZPh63Y]

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enhydra lutris's picture

shared histories (not at all the same thing) can lead to reawakenings of long dormant neural paths, summoning up images, sights, sounds and even more regarding long forgotten histories. Earlier this year a friend from "those days" contacted me to verify certain things; "did we not do a, b, c, and d, and didnt I do x, and y, and did you not do k, l, m, and n?" Suddenly it all came back, in detail with images and other forgotten peripheral things, events and ideas. I decided to record it, for future reference and in the process recollected other things and events only vaguely related, some of which I had so forgotten that I certainly would never have otherwise recovered them.

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

riverlover's picture

even if painful, has some satisfaction. Hell we lived through them. My sister and I do that in many conversations, comparing memories. We do not always recall the same details, given we are not twins or something.

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

hecate's picture

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Damnit Janet's picture

I closed last night. Several of my co-workers are combat veterans. I covered one's shift because, although they've never had PTSD from fireworks before, they started having issues a few days ago due to people here shooting stuff off several nights in advance.

And then.

There were three of us last night at work. Let me tell you, it's kinda eerie closing a medical marijuana dispensary to begin with. There are certain closing procedures we go through because it's a vulnerable point in our day. So the young kid had to leave a few minutes early as his ride was there and normally we all leave together. So it was just me and my lead - who is a combat vet. As we set the alarms and we are opening the security door to exit, I'm in the front - two loud rifle sounding blasts are just right at us. I ducked while turning and started back inside. Guys, it sounded just like two shots in a row. My lead stepped over me to shut the door. It was all very scary. The young kid hadn't left yet and thought we had been shot.

The vet said, "Damn girl, you tucked and tailed." It's just instinct I guess from all the infiltrating and protesting...

He said that the police, when they do raids on dispensaries, they shoot twice like that just to freak people out. He said he thought we were being raided.

Then the drive home was .... really scary due to all the bangs and smoke. What a night.

But we weren't raided and I know my body knows what to do in case. Man, I was headed to the safe room.

I thought I was okay when I got home up until those damn gun sounding explosives.

It sounded like a war zone.

I've never been shaken up due to fireworks... but damn there were flash grenade types. Happy fucking violence.

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"Love One Another" ~ George Harrison

enhydra lutris's picture

also sounded like a war zone. They've got some new stuff that is far more powerful than anything I remember from any previous celebration.

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

enhydra lutris's picture

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

shaharazade's picture

Mink de Ville. I like your story hecate. The part of California I don't know at all. I have driven and hitch hiked through the regions above San Francisco and fantasied, romanticized about living there. The oak trees inland and the redwoods coastal. As a kid my parents read us stories about this land from an old book called California Fairy Tales .

www.pinterest.com Best CE Millar.jpg

I lived as a back to the land hippie for 7 years in a small rural beach town in Oregon. There were no people of color there just hippies, loggers, fishermen and townies. There was a handsome Mexican from LA named Frankie Lee but he was a hippie. We had one sheriff named Harry. He looked like a redneck but he liked the hippies who had moved to Bandon. He hung out with the fishermen who were philosophical and also liked the hippies. I had no phone so when my Mom wanted to get in touch she would call the sheriff and say my daughter lives on the jetty in a stone house could you please tell her to call her mother. He would come in person and say 'Call your mom'.

He once picked me up as I had shop lifted cold medicine from the only 'super market' in the town. He took me to breakfast as I looked really sick and said don't do that again. He then asked me for advise about his arthritic wrists. Did I think wearing a copper bracelet would help? Did I know of any herbal remedies? Which vitamins would help?

He hung out in the fisherman's favorite Bar, Lloyds. He watched out for me in a good way. Having taken some acid one night I walked to Lloyds to look at it. There were trees carved by chainsaw artworks on the walls. They freaked me right out. I decided to have a Margarita it seemed like it would go nicely with the LSD.

Harry was down the bar from me and he pointed his finger at me and said 'Don't 'but I did. I left as the tree carvings were alive and I could not handle them in there altered form. I decided to walk home and fell in a ditch by the side of the back road I lived on. He had followed me in his cop car and got me out of the ditch and delivered me to my doorstep.

Your town does not sound like Bandon. It did have some scary rednecks who lived there but they left the hippies alone and some of their kids joined with the hippies. Hybrids. Inland from the Oregon coast it was a whole different brew. hitchhiking across to Portland was terrifying and you had to be very careful not to hop into the knuckle draggers cars. They did not like the hippies. When my car died and I had to hitch hike I always took my crazy girl friend who could spot a dangerous ride and knew how to scare off the rednecks and even the bikers. Her dog helped too.

I see why you feel as you do about cops as your place does not have a nice cop like Harry. Your reality is most likely the normal these days. I lived in LA after Bandon and the cops there were sadistic killer thugs. I never occupied anything as a young one. I did march, wear flowers in my hair and practice random acts of civil disobedience that made me live outside the law, dishonestly? I ran away from the city to the coast as the city was harsh full of nasty cops. rich pigs and did not offer any relief. I could not see the edges of the world just the hate, violence, poverty and heat.

I want to go back to a place like Bandon that but I know it no longer exists except in my imagination. You and the other good guys in your story have made a difference you got rid of the hanging jailers. They are everywhere and the basic rule of law is gone. The powerful need enforcers and benefit from the fear and random acts of violence and mayhem that keep people in a state of constant of warfare.

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hecate's picture

carved with chainsaws are completely frightening. Regardless of the state of one's consciousness. Trees, they do not want to be carved, by chainsaws.

Somebody from here moved to Bandon a while back. So far as I know, it's still paradise.

They used to have deputies like Harry up here. They were called "resident deputies," and they actually lived in the little mountain towns they served. But then they got rid of them. Decided they were "not professional."

The cops in this little town, they are not that bad. They grow daffodils, around the station.

Here's kind of a magic DeVille:

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw6j16GzFp8]

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Damnit Janet's picture

"all law-enforcement officers, they believe that they possess, a natural-born right, to harass, intimidate, arrest, beat, and sometimes even kill, anyone who gives them any grief, whatsoever. Who, thereby, refuse to acknowledge, their innate and essential godhood. Bestowed by the badge and the gun. "

That is exactly why I have absolutely zero respect or anything for "cops". I fear them more than any criminal. They are above the law.

You can fight a bad person, you can fight to survive. You can not fight against bad cops. And more than enough of them are bad to make them nothing but a pack of rabid beasts. They are immune to any accountability.

Cops scare me to death.

My son is disabled, and "cops" are his daily main threat.

And the smaller the town, the bigger the corruption it seems with their cop shops.

Thank you so much for sharing, hec.

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"Love One Another" ~ George Harrison

hecate's picture

or so comes a case out of the Ninth Circuit where the judges remind the cops that citizens have the right even to flip them off, or say "fuck you," without the cops immediately losing their shit and going for the pepper spray or the baton or the taser.

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jwa13's picture

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When Cicero had finished speaking, the people said “How well he spoke”.
When Demosthenes had finished speaking, the people said “Let us march”.