Chancellor Valorum Cannot Save the Republic (Biden is at Best a Band-Aid)
War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks from the relentless Sith Lord Donald Trump. There are very fine people on both sides. Evil is everywhere.
It must have been sad in the last days of the Republic. War had been raging for years. A war to save the Republic. And yet that very war had let the new Chancellor gain more and more power until the Republic was destroyed anyway.
Maybe some people looked to the Jedi Council for hope. Or a rogue group of senators who tried to stem the tide. But one thing I don’t think anyone ever thought to themselves was, “Hey, I know who can save us! Chancellor Valorum? Member him? I member! If we just had him back everything would be right as rain!”
And yet, here in our own crumbling Republic where a power mad would be dictator attacks our small r republican institutions daily and the Senate he controls lets him get away with it, a madness has overtaken millions of voters who want to do just that. Spunky liberal female senator? Too risky. Crotchety old Jedi who never got to be on the Council cause he won’t do what the establishment says? No chance! Let’s put all our hopes in restoring the chancellorship to good old Finis Valorum.
Well, my friends, if we do that, we’re Finised.
If Joe Biden were a truly inspiring leader with the heart and soul to take down Donald Trump he would have gotten a bigger percentage of the vote in New Hampshire than William Weld did running what is essentially a protest campaign. But maybe, just maybe those William Weld voters will cross over and vote Democratic is we just put forward someone non-threatening and bland enough!
But probably not.
Maybe Joe Biden will break the mold and be the first Democratic VP who wasn’t already president to win an election since Martin Van Buren in 1836. Maybe he will break the boring, safe, centrist mold of Clinton, Kerry and Gore.
But probably not.
Do we want to entrust the nomination to a candidate who has had virtually no ground game, very few small grassroots donors and almost no success until the mainstream media did a week-long freakout once Bernie Sanders was the front-runner? OMG OMG OMG OMG SOCIALIST COMMIE CASTRO IGNORE ALL THE POLLING AND DATA AND FACTS AND FREAK THE FUCK OUT!!!!!
A wise old Jedi once said “Fear is the path to the Dark Side.”
And playing not to lose is a terrible way to win.
And let’s hope and pray for a minute that I’m wrong. That despite having an uninspiring candidate that no one is really FOR but that we hope no one will be too AGAINST we somehow manage to knock off Donald Trump and restore the Valorums of our world to the chancellorship. What then?
Biden is at best a band-aid.
It’s not like things were hunky dory back when Valorum was Chancellor. Sure there wasn’t a raging Civil War between droids and clone armies (yet) and a Sith Lord wasn’t Chancellor (though he was already, like Mitch McConnell, running the Senate). But the Trade Federation was ignoring the rule of law and he was basically letting them get away with it cause aw geesh some Senator from the Planet of Health Insurance Lobbies thought a public option was just too much.
The Obama/Biden administration missed the ball too many times. The stimulus was too small. Health care reform too timid. But more importantly the Obama/Biden administration got the TONE all wrong. Warren didn’t. Bernie didn’t. They were raging at Wall Street and the banks who caused the mess. They wanted deep structural reforms. Obama and Biden wanted to put a band aid on a broken system.
They ceded all the angry energy to the Tea Party. We got our asses handed to us in 2010 and 2014. We couldn’t take the House in 2012. We lost countless seats in state legislatures and governor’s mansions. And in 2016 we were basically TOLD before a single vote was cast by the DNC and super delegates that we were getting more of the same. Despite the fact that Democratic voters ALREADY had rejected going back to the Clinton 90s in 2008 the Clintons cleared the field and gave us a presumptive nominee whether we liked it or not. Websites like this one banned people who dared criticize her after a certain date—which by the way, is the absolute worst way to build unity behind someone.
And so despite 40 years of a declining middle class and a widening wage gap that left people desperate for something, ANYTHING different we told them things are great already and get out there and vote for more of the same!
A lot of them decided to roll the dice instead.
Is anyone excited to restore the Democratic machine that gave us the Tea Party and Trump? Does anyone think Joe Biden, even with majorities in both houses, will somehow fix the deep structural problems we face? Or will Democrats keep the filibuster so McConnell can block even minor progress for four years?
And where will we be in four years? Biden has already hinted he won’t run. Is the DNC going to TELL us again who the next presumptive nominee is? We’ll have this fight all over again. And we’ll lose again. At best we are gonna get a one term band aid and the next demagogue might actually be competent like a Palpatine instead of idiotic like Darth Jar Jar Binks.
And that’s the bright picture scenario.
But the darker picture is probably more accurate. Too many people won’t go out and vote for a restoration of the leadership that got us to where we are now. No one’s charging a squadron of storm troopers for Chancellor Valorum.
And that’s why he can’t save the Republic.