Just sit right back
And you'll hear a tale
A tale of a creepy dick,
who fondled kids in his high school days,
his acts will make you sick.
Denny was a ruthless pol, he aimed to impeach Bill,
cuz' of where he'd stick his prick.
Five innocents - their lives were ruined,
While Denny struck it rich,
and Til the Feds used their stick.

Til the Feds used their stick.

Denny found his way to the US House of Reprehensibles in a very tight race, but only after a last minute attack on the morality of his female (democratic) opponent. The attacks were groundless, but given the short timeframe, she could not respond until after the voting was complete. The attacks worked to flip the votes.

After working for Illinois Republican Bob Michel, who assigned him as the attack dog on Hillary's (pro-insurance) bait and switch, secretive, 14 volume, 127,000 page health care "simplification bill," he was regarded as a loyal, if bloated, foot soldier. That history made him perfectly suited to use his fangs on behalf of newly elected Speaker, Newt the Grinch. Grinch had deposed Michel for being too willing to reach across the aisle and work with the disloyal, treasonous, evil Democrats (boy, does that sound familiar?)

While the Newt and his new attack dog, Denny, worked to impeach Bill Clinton for spewing sperm on the dress of a very, very young Monica, Newt himself was secretly involved the muddle of his own extra-marital affair. By then Denny had built a cult of christian conservative sycophants, butt kissers, and doormats, as he carefully crafted his family values merit badges. Just before his election as the Newt's replacement, the AP described him in this fawning fashion:

"He is an evangelical Christian who opposes abortion and advocates lower taxes, a balanced-budget amendment to the Constitution and the death penalty. And he spearheaded the GOP's highly partisan fight against using sampling techniques to take the next census. Such groups as the National Right to Life Committee, the Christian Coalition, the Chamber of Commerce and the National Rifle Association all gave his voting record perfect scores of 100. The American Conservative Union gave him an 88. Meanwhile, the liberal Americans for Democratic Action, the American Civil Liberties Union and labor organizations such as the AFL-CIO and the Teamsters each gave Hastert zero points. The League of Conservation Voters rated him a 13."

If you think there is an echo chamber in the House of Reptilians, you are correct. The only difference is that today's teabuggerers are actually even more conservative, mindless, irrational, and ill-informed than Hastert's bunch that started destroying our country in 1998. During the reign of W, Hastert frequently employed the venom of his pet snake, Tom DeLay, until DeLay himself was indicted for various campaign financing violations.

Hastert, as House Speaker, was the primary reason that the Patriot Act passed through the house before anyone bothered to read what was in it. He was also a cheerleader for the invasion of IraqNam, Bush Tax Cuts, and the eventual "Leave No Childs Behind" legislation.

Hastert, despite his grumpy, obese, rude, and back-stabbing manner, was a quick study and learned his next tactics from the previous administration, namely, how Hill and Bill were squirreling away future assets, in exchange for favorable legislation. Hastert adopted those practices and improved upon them, leading to term, "Pay to Play." (Hillary has since returned the favor by adopting his improvement for her own gain.)

Hastert, recognizing a kindred spirit in Bob Foley, did his best to ignore how Foley fondled and attempted to screw house pages. By this time, numerous stories of his accepting bribes in exchange of legislation were the norm, rather than the exception. Hastert eventually retired in 2012, under several dark, dank clouds. But make no mistake. Where Hastert truly shined, and where he made is reputation was in trying to impeach Bill Clinton, because of just one of Bill's extra-marital affairs. His family values reputation became etched in stone, and gave more credibility to other wild-eyed, conservative christian reptiles in the House.

And then, Hastert got caught with his pants down.

In today's Suntimes, the newspaper stated that "Things got even worse for Hastert."

First, the former U.S. House speaker’s odds of staying out of prison seemed to dim Wednesday when the federal judge presiding over his case asked pointed questions about Hastert’s alleged attempt to falsely make himself out to be a victim of extortion in 2015.

Then, it became clear Hastert has another problem: The so-called Individual A, allegedly molested as a teenager by Hastert, has insisted Hastert make good on their $3.5 million hush-money deal in 2010, according to a document unsealed by order of U.S. District Judge Thomas M. Durkin. Individual A collected just $1.7 million from Hastert.

“Individual A may still go public if he pursues Mr. Hastert civilly, as his lawyer has threatened to do if Mr. Hastert does not pay Individual A the remaining $1.8 million from their initial arrangement, plus statutory interest,” Thomas Green, Hastert’s attorney, wrote. . . .

Hastert pleaded guilty to a financial crime last year and faces sentencing April 27. But federal prosecutors used a damning 26-page sentencing memo last week to accuse Hastert of sexually abusing five students while a wrestling coach at Yorkville High School decades ago.

So the ultra-conservative, christian coalition supported, Speaker of the House, a guy who made his bones attacking Clinton for a sexual relationship with a consenting adult female not his wife, repeatedly fondled little boys while he was their wrestling coach. Not only that, he put an easy chair so he could watch all of them shower after practice in comfort.

THAT is why Hastert is the face of today's GOP. We should be screaming this from the top of every tree, every church steeple, and every public meeting. The second man in line for the White House, supported by all the GOPers unanimously, was little more than a hypocritical perverted piece of shit.