04/01 Open Thread: You're Kidding Me

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Happy April Fools

April First, aka April Fools' Day. Wow. So I presume that folks expect humor, but there just isn't that much that's funny any more unless you enjoy "sick humor". I mean, we have clowns, elected and appointed politicians, political contenders officials and pundits, but they're really not funny, though some are sickos. Especially the pundits. My generation didn't have pundits, we got truthful critical analysis from guys like Lenny Bruce, Mort Sahl, Dick Gregory, but they were cinsidered to be "comedians". Some of their kind are still out there I guess, Lee Camp, Jimmy Dore, Ron Placone, so history is rhyming again, but it is a lot less funny the thousandth time around. We had topical singers too, by the ton, and some of it was funny in a bleak, dark kind of way, but, again, less and less so each decade.

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So, as I wander through my playing cards listening to Peaches en Regalia it hits me that I don't want to do any kind of traditional April Fool's Day column, I just want to bang on the drum all day, which, of course, isn't an option since I lack any drums. Accordingly, I'm just gonna play a few possibly appropriate tunes andhope that Joe doesn't feature any of them this afternoon, but I figure that the probability of that is around p=10-7, so here goes, listen and enjoy, nay savor the music. FWIW, there is a classic blues riff (or more) in here, no fair reading liner notes.

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Whatever; interlude -------------------

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Ready Player 1:

Maybe you had to be there ...heh

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have a good one

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Title Image is April_Fools

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It's an open thread, so have at it. The floor is yours
.

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Lookout's picture

so I'm staying home and fooling around.

Got the summer seedlings under light today as it is about 40 degrees outside this AM. The lettuce and broccoli plants we put out earlier this week will cruise through these temps. The garden has been a wonderful distraction and project this spring.

There are things I miss. My Friday night session, Tuesday and Saturday trade day, my daily shopping trip on my bike. Some of the routine persists. Today is watering Wednesday, but that won't last much longer as the house plants will go out by the end of the month. I have the Sunday WW that marks time too.

So thanks for all the foolish music and the OT. Hope you and yours are doing well.

In case anyone want's some stupid kid jokes for today...

1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore!

2. What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

4. What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield.

5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

6. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frost bite!

7. What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

8. Why did the student eat his homework?

Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

9. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

Because when you find it, you stop looking.

10. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

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17 users have voted.

“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

enhydra lutris's picture

@Lookout
yesterday and dug out the Romas, which my wife plans to start under grow lights today. We've selected a couple of spots for beans, which we'll just plant direct and at some point i'll try my spinach chard again. No real garden planning beyond that for now, but I did find a packet of portuguese kale seeds. It's a fabulous plant, with leaves almost the size of a dinner plate.

be well and have a good one.

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12 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

ggersh's picture

hopefully the drums wake up the sheep.

Now for some real drum banging!

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11 users have voted.

tRump amerika's last president

voting in ameriKa is an illusion

I'm fairly sure that the R's have finally figured out
that the D's are no longer necessary

enhydra lutris's picture

@ggersh
be well and have a good one.

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8 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

@enhydra lutris

and the chances are good
that vegetable will respond to you!

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enhydra lutris's picture

@irishking
that the intro/title was a bit corny. Thanks for the Framption video, I resemble that.

be well and have a good one.

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

@enhydra lutris @enhydra lutris

it was his idea
(from Absolutely Free)

what I get for being a smartypants
lol

edit- glad you liked the Frampton tune. seemed to fit.
Saw it on Drew Carey show of all things.
Frampton had a big crush on Mimi, but she put him down.

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Azazello's picture

Every day the same old way.
The sameness is getting to me.
No diversion, no excursions.
No trips to the library or the nursery.
There's a cool swap-meet on the first Sunday of each month.
There used to be, anyway.

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13 users have voted.
enhydra lutris's picture

@Azazello
even while half awake. I slowly introduce variety to my day by changing up breakfast and by staring at the yard and garden a bit, the birds always keep things chaotic. We still take short walks around the neighborhood, and dodge other strollers at the requisite 6 foot interval, roughly a turkey vulture's span. Today we hope to actually sneak out for some bird feed, and friday for people food. They will have the later prepackaged so we drive to a designated spot, call and they come out and load it in the trunk. Non refrigerated items will sit out for a couple of days, and the queso will get a wipe down before being stored in the fridge, 2# of same, which should last us a bit.

Don't forget the internet archive and other sources of books and such.

be well and have a good one.

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

enhydra lutris's picture

You can look it up. Just sayin'.

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10 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

@enhydra lutris Definition of an Engineer

What is the definition of an engineer? Answer: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.

Scientist Versus Engineer
"A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. He would have to ask an engineer to do that."
— Gordon L. Glegg, British Engineer, 1969.

Engineers and Glasses
The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be.

Engineers: Wife or Mistress?
An architect, artist, and engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with their wives or mistresses. The architect said, "I like spending time with my wife building a firm foundation of a marriage." The artist said, "I enjoy the time I spend with my mistress because of all the passion and energy." The engineer said "I enjoy both. If you have a wife and a mistress, both women think you are with the other so you can go to work get more done."

Engineering Joke
A girl asked her boyfriend, an engineer, "Don't you want to see where I was operated upon for appendicitis?"The engineer replied, "Oh, I hate to see a hospital."

It Takes One to Know One
Engineer and Mathematician (males) were given the opportunity to compete for a very attractive woman. But there was one condition: "You can only run half the remaining distance between you and the lady". Eng. sprinted forward while Math. didn't. Why aren't you running? Asked members of the Committee. Because, by definition, I will never be allowed to reach my target. And you Eng. why are you running? Don't you know the same? Yes, said Eng. my learned friend is correct. But I will get close enough for all practical purposes.

Engineer Priorities
An engineering major sees classmate riding up on a new bike and asks when he got it. "I was walking back from the computer lab when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen rode up on this bike, stopped, took all her clothes off and said to me 'Take what you want!'" "Good choice," the friend replies. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

EE Humor
I keep trying to find a phone number in Atlanta, but all the websites keep returning "Not Found" errors. (Explanation: The area code for Atlanta is 404 as in HTTP 404, the error code for "File Not Found")

Engineering Degree Joke
A graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" A graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Would you like an apple pie with that?"

Mechanical Engineers, Civil Engineers and Chemical Engineers
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets. Chemical Engineers are engineers that build targets that explode really well.

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enhydra lutris's picture

@Snode
I'd like to point out that a really good mathematician would just go straight to the lady non-stop, explaining on the way that the limit of that sequence is, in fact, the lady.

be well and have a good one.

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

thanatokephaloides's picture

@enhydra lutris

I'd like to point out that a really good mathematician would just go straight to the lady non-stop, explaining on the way that the limit of that sequence is, in fact, the lady.

Ah yes, the theme song of the calculus:

Biggrin

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"I say enough! If Israel wants to be the only superpower in the Middle East then they can put their own asses on the line and do it themselves. I want to continue to eat."
-- snoopydawg

@thanatokephaloides Made me giggle.
I needed one in the worst way!

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turned 22 today! We all sent her "Happy Birthday" by the Beatles, since she gets a big kick out of our old folks' music!
She is a bit stubborn, refused to wear a seat belt to save her life. When I told her it was an arrestable offense, do NOT call me from jail, she has worn one ever since.
It is always the little things...

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enhydra lutris's picture

@on the cusp
put such a damper on things, really bring you down, so to speak.

be well and have a good one

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

cp.PNG

today I looked back on the Amazon comments

cp1.PNG
cp2.PNG

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enhydra lutris's picture

@gjohnsit
"The Plague" back in about 1964, really brightened my day, as I recall. Thanks for dropping by.

be well and have a good one.

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6 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

earthling1's picture

I swear, if it wasn't for this site I'd be going crazy right now.
My 10th day locked up in this house. I just wish it would stop raining. And hailing.
Hailed half the day yesterday and had to go out and keep checking the onion starts. They're getting murdered.
Have seedling starts crammed under my only 4 ft growlight, and half of them are ready to go in the ground.
I have most of the garden covered with plastic (14 x 24 ft.) so it's not mud and ready to plant.
But the rain, jeebus.
Step-son brought some leftover lumber from the jobsite he is working on yesterday. Gonna build a small (4w x 7L x 7 ft high) pumphouse in the garage and haul it out to the farm when the weather permits.
That should keep me busy for a couple of days.
Jeeze, I coulda had the framing done with that long version of Iron Butterfly, thanks GG.
I guess I could paint it too, add a couple more days.
I'm going around the world every day online but it's getting depressing.
I've been an outdoors type person most my life, 40 years in construction. This is hard.
I may order some books, I just hate making Besos even richer.
Thanks for letting me blow off some steam, folks.
And thanks for the OT and tunes, EL.

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12 users have voted.

After six years, still getting robo-calls from Marriot Hotels.
They're like herpes.

Lily O Lady's picture

@earthling1

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4 users have voted.

"The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?" ~Orwell, "1984"

earthling1's picture

@Lily O Lady
Will give it a try.

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5 users have voted.

After six years, still getting robo-calls from Marriot Hotels.
They're like herpes.

enhydra lutris's picture

@earthling1
pretty much indoors for a couple of weeks here too. Not nearly as enjoyable as being out in the yard. I did make a big dent in my office clutter, at least but barely touched my backlog of reading, unfortunately. Just hang in there, it will all be over some day.

be well and have a good one.

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5 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

@earthling1 @earthling1 First of all I don't benefit in any way by posting this I just really wanted an alternative to Bezos and this was a great find worth sharing to save others from Bezos.
It's also much better and cheaper and when I first went on that site I ended up feeling like I was playing a game of 'stump the host', trying to find some book they couldn't find for me. Not only did they do so I'd get a long list of sources with varying prices and book conditions.

This is their intro..
"Biblio offers over 100 million used, rare and out-of-print books, but that's not truly what sets us apart. As discerning bibliophiles already know, less is often more. We work with the finest booksellers in the world to cultivate a truly remarkable collection that strikes the perfect balance between quantity and quality of selection."

There is also a part about the policy of Social Responsibility on the site.

https://www.biblio.com/pages/Social_Responsibility.html

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earthling1's picture

@aliasalias
But will sure check it out.
Thanks aliasalias.

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2 users have voted.

After six years, still getting robo-calls from Marriot Hotels.
They're like herpes.

@earthling1 I was trying to keep my comment short, in fact I edited out the section on Social Responsibility, the options on that site are better than any I personally know about and for one example I've never seen a 'search' choice that will bring up only books that have free shipping.

You can also look for 'signed copies',if they exist,and just like I do in libraries, out of curiosity I wander into that area knowing that just like with the 'rare and out of print' books I can afford nothing.
For example I love Kurt Vonnegut, and the description of one copy of "Slaughter-Five" for sale goes as follows..

"Delacorte Press, New York, 1969 First Edition, First Printing with the words "First Printing" printed on the copyright page. This copy is authentically INSCRIBED and SIGNED by Kurt Vonnegut with self-caricature. A beautiful copy. This ORIGINAL dustjacket is vibrant in color with NO chips or tears. This First Issue dustjacket has the $5.95 printed price present. The book is in excellent condition and is bound in the ORIGINAL publisher's blue cloth. The binding is tight with NO cocking or leaning and the boards are crisp. The pages are clean with NO writing, marks or bookplates. A stunning copy SIGNED by the author with a custom clamshell slipcase for preservation. "

Sounds great but the price is $11,000.

Still like in some art gallery I'm there to look not buy, unlike most of the site.

Personally I've never seen a movie I really liked that was anywhere near as good as the book and my most recent purchase was by a Canadian author,Michael Ondaatji, whose prize winning book became a multi-award winning film, "The English Patient". Price? $3.98 with free shipping

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edg's picture

As of 5 pm yesterday by Governor Doug Ducey's order, we Arizonans have been ordered to stay at home due to coronavirus. Notably, we're still allowed to engage in sacred 1st Amendment activities such as going to church. God will protect us. Yes, she will.

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Azazello's picture

@edg
The Governor may have to call up the National Guard to maintain the Slurpee machine.

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6 users have voted.
enhydra lutris's picture

@Azazello

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3 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

Azazello's picture

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enhydra lutris's picture

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4 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

edg's picture

@enhydra lutris

...but not much surf.

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@Azazello
per capita Slurpee consumption is found (as well as the store with the highest total annual slurpee sales)?

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5 users have voted.

The earth is a multibillion-year-old sphere.
The Nazis killed millions of Jews.
On 9/11/01 a Boeing 757 (AA77) flew into the Pentagon.
AGCC is happening.
If you cannot accept these facts, I cannot fake an interest in any of your opinions.

@UntimelyRippd
Winnipeg, Manitoba.

The nearest Sev would often be the concluding stop after our fruitless 10-speed-based pursuit of the elusive XX-15yo in St. Vital Park.

Even at -30C, Winnipeggers love them some Slurpees.
The highest slurpee-throughput store in the world is (or at least, it was a few years ago) the one closest to where I used to live. I claim no particular share of the credit.

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2 users have voted.

The earth is a multibillion-year-old sphere.
The Nazis killed millions of Jews.
On 9/11/01 a Boeing 757 (AA77) flew into the Pentagon.
AGCC is happening.
If you cannot accept these facts, I cannot fake an interest in any of your opinions.

earthling1's picture

@Azazello
had chili dogs.I'll have to try one.
Really miss my der Wienersnitzel chili cheese dogs.

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4 users have voted.

After six years, still getting robo-calls from Marriot Hotels.
They're like herpes.

Azazello's picture

@earthling1
I was joking. Circle K chili-dogs can be deadly and are only to be consumed in emergencies.

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dystopian's picture

@earthling1 Oh my kindred spirit! Wink

Really miss my der Wienersnitzel chili cheese dogs.

Weren't those great! Don't know how many dozens, er, hundreds, I ate but two of those at about .39 cents each and you were good to go... fond memories like an Orange Julius. LOL

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4 users have voted.

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
both - Albert Einstein

@dystopian

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enhydra lutris's picture

@edg @edg
archive (archive.org) can be a good friend for those under lock-down. Chirch, notsomuch IMHO.

be well and have a good one.

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5 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

Not Henry Kissinger's picture

"Here's the rent."

(or maybe worst.)

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The current working assumption appears to be that our Shroedinger's Cat system is still alive. But what if we all suspect it's not, and the real problem is we just can't bring ourselves to open the box?

earthling1's picture

@Not Henry Kissinger
"Don't bogart that joint, my friend".

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8 users have voted.

After six years, still getting robo-calls from Marriot Hotels.
They're like herpes.

enhydra lutris's picture

@earthling1

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

Not Henry Kissinger's picture

@earthling1

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7 users have voted.

The current working assumption appears to be that our Shroedinger's Cat system is still alive. But what if we all suspect it's not, and the real problem is we just can't bring ourselves to open the box?

enhydra lutris's picture

@Not Henry Kissinger
paychecks and no reserves, they'll all be out there Today or Friday, not good.

be well and have a good one

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

magiamma's picture

Et al

Good jokes all. Needed that. Sunny here for two days and windy. The lasagna came out well with my homemade noodles. And spaghetti sauce left over. Meals for a week. Now back to the garden. A friend came by this morning and said introverts like being home now and extroverts do not. I an happy as a clam at high tide. (Smiling ear to ear). She wants me to sew her and her husband masks. So that’s my next project. Right up my alley and will keep me off the street at night. Rambling on I am. Be well, all. Have a good one.

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Stop Climate Change Silence - Start the Conversation

Hot Air Website, Twitter, Facebook

enhydra lutris's picture

@magiamma
cook up something and eat off of it for an extended period. My wife made us both masks, but I have weak earlobes so mine tends to slip off.

be well and have a good one.

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3 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

dystopian's picture

The Fool by QMS is masterpiece material. That wah-wah tone is amazing. I hadn't heard it in too long, thanks! I love me some Peaches in Regalia as well! Wink

For all... here is a great place for books... Amongst many, too many some say, I have a few to several shelves worth of Hamilton books. https://www.hamiltonbook.com/

My rule now is whatever I do, don't go to the birds and birding section here:
https://www.hamiltonbook.com/catalog/s.pdf

I have been a customer for 25 years and never got a bad book. Standard no vested interest disclaimer.

Play it safe and be well all!

A way down south here a hair below 30deg.N we have hummingbirds, warblers, vireos, Summer Tanager, Vermilion and Scissor-tailed Flycatcher (insectivores) back now and landscape is exploding in spring greens.

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6 users have voted.

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
both - Albert Einstein

enhydra lutris's picture

@dystopian
one somewhere that has a momentous birding section, pick a country, any country, if there is a published guide they have it and they will split them for you. I don't recall anything else about it, a pro guide recommended it to me once and I used it to get a couple of guides and have them split. I think maybe Ecuador was one

Social distancing hint, keep one turkey vulture of separation between you and others.

be well and have a good one.

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2 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

when I made a stop to replenish my perishable groceries and saw that, in contrast to my a trip a week and a half ago, when all the bread shelves were cleared out, this time the bread flour shelf was cleared out, along with most of the yeast.

up
2 users have voted.

The earth is a multibillion-year-old sphere.
The Nazis killed millions of Jews.
On 9/11/01 a Boeing 757 (AA77) flew into the Pentagon.
AGCC is happening.
If you cannot accept these facts, I cannot fake an interest in any of your opinions.

travelerxxx's picture

@UntimelyRippd

...along with most of the yeast.

You have stores with some yeast? You'd best go back and get what they have. I haven't seen yeast in the stores for over two weeks. We finally found two 1 pound packs online a week ago and immediately bought them (we were nearly out). They had five left when we hit the "buy" button.

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3 users have voted.

@travelerxxx
I calculate that will be enough to last a year.
Maybe 8 weeks worth of flour.
But I'm regretting I didn't buy another 25lb sack of rice at costco 2 weeks ago.

up
2 users have voted.

The earth is a multibillion-year-old sphere.
The Nazis killed millions of Jews.
On 9/11/01 a Boeing 757 (AA77) flew into the Pentagon.
AGCC is happening.
If you cannot accept these facts, I cannot fake an interest in any of your opinions.

travelerxxx's picture

@UntimelyRippd

We're admittedly a mite short on rice here. Probably gonna stay that way a while now...

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1 user has voted.
enhydra lutris's picture

@UntimelyRippd
or at lest the good stuff. WE have sourdough starters, so yeast is not a concern. I know a lot of folks in the area use bread machines or else used to and still have one around.

be well and have a good one.

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0 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

bread maker.
I am well stocked.
I do not eat that much bread anyway.
Hell, I don't eat much of anything.
2 bites of a cream cheese Danish this morning, a small bowl of leftover spaghetti at 8:30 tonight is all I needed.
I think I will be well-suited to extreme food shortages in the near future.

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