@Linda Wood and they feel I am a part of it. They do not make a move without discussing it with me first.
I did not get some invitation to the wedding on Facebook. My Trey and his fiancé came to my office after they obtained their marriage license, which I had instructed them how and when to obtain.
I love it when love is so apparent!

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@mimi My Trey would, and could, avoid.
I am heartbroken that your son has difficulties, and that you must deal with them. Very sad, I am so sorry, mimi.
My Dad had issues with combat from age 25 to 91.
That Dad thing was the story I told him. I had gotten My Trey sole custody of his 2 kids. I didn't want them to have to deal with what I did.
I absolutely fell apart when this brilliant young man might lose his life, or his mind, over retirement checks.
I actually told him I would never allow him to do without a thing.
When I am unable to take care of myself, my best guess is My Trey will come to my rescue.

He said his retirement check was much bigger if he saw combat, but he could choose N. Korea.
I fell on my knees and put my head on his knees, as he sat on my sofa. I grabbed him around the calves of his legs. I cried like a little girl, told him what it was like to be raised by a PTSD combat soldier, what that did to family and loved ones, what it did to the soldier, and I BEGGED him to go to N. Korea, skip the combat/hero bs in the Middle East.
I convinced My Trey to avoid the combat.

You did so well the right thing, imo.

Just saying... My son's experiences match a bit in here. He got his worst PTSD causing incidences in the Iraq war in 2003, had fears to be redeployed to Iraq for a second time, chose instead to be based in Seoul Korea for more than a year to circumvent another deployment to Iraq. But it was too late. You can't unsee and unlive what you lived through in the war. The damage was done. The only difference I can see is that he never believed in any of the hero stuff (probably because he was not raised by American parents, but was foreigner with childhood experiences outside the US). He told me about his 'brothers in arms' he had to serve with in Iraq and it showed him all the tragedy of those men's souls. He kept contact with all of them years after the war. There are the ones who killed themselves. What would be both give to forget the past. But it's haunting you for ever.

@davidgmillsatty Glad you had those occasions.

We lawyers have a chance to do something that is priceless. I was fortunate enough to have had quite a few of those times.

@laurel and are stuck with your family.

are not necessarily those of bloodline but of knowing and trust gained from friendships developed over time. The deaths that have cut most deeply into me were of genuine friends and loyal animal companions. It's beautiful that you and this family have bonded so deeply with one another, on the cusp. It's part of who you are.