The wedding

I should likely make this an OT comment, but I am pretty spun up at the moment, want to say what I want to say while the music is in my head, the hugs are still warm, the kisses are still moist.
I met a man at a Christmas party 20 years ago, and we became best friends.
I got him a divorce. I handled his ex-wife's probate when she passed away. I represented his son in a divorce/custody case, his son-in-law in his custody case, his daughter in her divorce/custody case, and when my friend got arrested for driving while intoxicated, I got that case dismissed. I prepared his Will, probated it, handled the probate of his first wife's husband's estate, and I can't say how many powers of attorney I have done for this family. I won every damn one of the cases, I know that.
And then, a wedding. The son of my deceased best pal.
I refer to him as My Trey.
I won him sole custody of his kids. They were there.
Hugs all around.
My Trey was in the Army, joined up right out of high school.
Like his Dad, he is brilliant. His job was security. Testing suspicious mail contents. His assigned area was DC. Supreme Court, White House, Senate, House of Representatives, and the Pentagon.
He was the team's top officer.
He came to the office a few years ago for me to prepare some document for his out of country stuff, said he was choosing his last tour of duty prior to retirement. He said his retirement check was much bigger if he saw combat, but he could choose S. Korea.
I fell on my knees and put my head on his knees, as he sat on my sofa. I grabbed him around the calves of his legs. I cried like a little girl, told him what it was like to be raised by a PTSD combat soldier, what that did to family and loved ones, what it did to the soldier, and I BEGGED him to go to N. Korea, skip the combat/hero bs in the Middle East.
I convinced My Trey to avoid the combat.
And as I predicted, he got a fabulous job for a security firm and it is so sensitive, I know if he discloses to me what he does, he would have to kill me.
He is so obviously in love, and capable of love, and is completely composed, and you all and I can sleep safer tonight because My Trey is keeping us safe. And as of today, happily married.
I may hate and despise these damn private contractors, but just this once, I give it a pass.
He is Our Trey.

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snoopydawg's picture

Tray seems lucky to have found you.

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America is a pathetic nation; a fascist state fueled by the greed, malice, and stupidity of her own people.
- strife delivery

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@Linda Wood and they feel I am a part of it. They do not make a move without discussing it with me first.
I did not get some invitation to the wedding on Facebook. My Trey and his fiancé came to my office after they obtained their marriage license, which I had instructed them how and when to obtain.
I love it when love is so apparent!

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Divorce, the death of his father, and on, and on.
I am the person he called when his Dad went to the hospital and was hooked to life support. I knew his Dad put that Do not Resuscitate document in his duffle bag. I prepared it, told his Dad to put it there. The Hospital pj's for his Dad were purchased by me. My Trey's Dad, my best friend,, was in pajamas I bought for him. My pal had called me, said he needed pjs. I bought him some, took it to him at the hospital several years before he died.
My Trey and I have had so many "worst day of my life" encounters in my office.
This just might be his best day.
And let us not forget he is top security, a bad ass security guy, and he absolutely is Our Trey.

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I'm in the upstairs bedroom. Will go downstairs and drink a toast to you both!
He is getting a fine wife. Humans are not meant to live alone.

Thank you for giving me a reason to smile!

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Tulsi Gabbard 2020 !

@The Voice In the Wilderness His grown children said this was love, her grown children said it was love, and My Trey's Mom said this was really love.
I want him to be focused!
When the music for the bride started, it was Pachelbel's Canon. When he came out, it was Star Wars theme!

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Anja Geitz's picture

Thanks for sharing this lovely story. You must be a very special person in their lives. Sounds like you had a memorable day Smile

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There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier

mimi's picture

He said his retirement check was much bigger if he saw combat, but he could choose N. Korea.
I fell on my knees and put my head on his knees, as he sat on my sofa. I grabbed him around the calves of his legs. I cried like a little girl, told him what it was like to be raised by a PTSD combat soldier, what that did to family and loved ones, what it did to the soldier, and I BEGGED him to go to N. Korea, skip the combat/hero bs in the Middle East.
I convinced My Trey to avoid the combat.

You did so well the right thing, imo.

Just saying... My son's experiences match a bit in here. He got his worst PTSD causing incidences in the Iraq war in 2003, had fears to be redeployed to Iraq for a second time, chose instead to be based in Seoul Korea for more than a year to circumvent another deployment to Iraq. But it was too late. You can't unsee and unlive what you lived through in the war. The damage was done. The only difference I can see is that he never believed in any of the hero stuff (probably because he was not raised by American parents, but was foreigner with childhood experiences outside the US). He told me about his 'brothers in arms' he had to serve with in Iraq and it showed him all the tragedy of those men's souls. He kept contact with all of them years after the war. There are the ones who killed themselves. What would be both give to forget the past. But it's haunting you for ever.

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@mimi My Trey would, and could, avoid.
I am heartbroken that your son has difficulties, and that you must deal with them. Very sad, I am so sorry, mimi.
My Dad had issues with combat from age 25 to 91.
That Dad thing was the story I told him. I had gotten My Trey sole custody of his 2 kids. I didn't want them to have to deal with what I did.
I absolutely fell apart when this brilliant young man might lose his life, or his mind, over retirement checks.
I actually told him I would never allow him to do without a thing.
When I am unable to take care of myself, my best guess is My Trey will come to my rescue.

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that you all have fought long and hard to make things good and decent for this family. I am happy for this family and for you, thanks for relating the story. It's much needed and much appreciated balm for our souls.

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ggersh's picture

Priceless!

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trump amerika's last president

The CIA website has a kids section with games where children can “solve puzzles, crack codes, and discover clues like a real CIA officer”.

This is like ISIS starting an ice cream truck business.

Caitlin

We lawyers have a chance to do something that is priceless. I was fortunate enough to have had quite a few of those times.

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@davidgmillsatty Glad you had those occasions.

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are not necessarily those of bloodline but of knowing and trust gained from friendships developed over time. The deaths that have cut most deeply into me were of genuine friends and loyal animal companions. It's beautiful that you and this family have bonded so deeply with one another, on the cusp. It's part of who you are.

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@laurel and are stuck with your family.

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Alligator Ed's picture

@on the cusp but no one forces you to associate with them.

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Alligator Ed's picture

Getting on your knees to warn the young man off combat was an act of love. What is seen and what is heard can never be unseen or unheard. I have been involved in treatment of PTSD-afflicted soldiers (for neurologic issues, not the psychiatric ones). Coping to novelty, including return to civilian life does not come easily. Many never cope.

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@Alligator Ed other family law cases. They are never ok. They are permanently damaged. The effect it has on their children is beyond scary.
I am so thankful he was persuaded to go to S. Korea.
He spent his R & R mostly in Thailand. At some point, he asked me what kind of gift I wanted. I told him I wanted a pair of elephant print pants that he could get from a Thai street vendor.
A few months later, he waltzed into my office, gave me a lovely pair of pants.
He is my heart.

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Alligator Ed's picture

@on the cusp You could have asked for Crocodile pants--the less of them varmints, the better.

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@Alligator Ed Missed opportunity!

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