New c99p Sight Rules

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:09pm

The list of new diktats, dammit!

  • Stick to the tissues.
  • You must stand for the Pledge of Belligerance.
  • You must vote for the specter of two weasels.
  • Do not delittle our Presibent.
  • No virtue giggling.
  • Don't be a boar.
  • Never doubt the news from Main Stream Toxaemia.
  • Our government does not spread propaganja.
  • No fermenting violets in the street.
  • For leaven sakes folks, confute the flag.
  • C99p is a pun-artisan sight.
  • Do not employ identity crisis politricks.
  • No schooling the fishes you trawl!
  • In other words, toe the slime, folks.

Did I miss any?

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Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:13pm

our rule is still DBAA.

As Mr. Rogers would say: Don't be an ass and doobie a gas.

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Submitted by EdMass on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:36pm
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@JtC

It's "site"...

You run this place?

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Prof: Nancy! I’m going to Greece!
Nancy: And swim the English Channel?
Prof: No. No. To ancient Greece where burning Sapho stood beside the wine dark sea. Wa de do da! Nancy, I’ve invented a time machine!

Firesign Theater

Stop the War!

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:42pm

@EdMass
site, cite and sight. I saw it cite unseen so I saw fit to use sight, do you sea?

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Submitted by EdMass on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:48pm
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@JtC

"briny deep" dude.

I know. I looked it up on the Interwebs.

So there.

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Prof: Nancy! I’m going to Greece!
Nancy: And swim the English Channel?
Prof: No. No. To ancient Greece where burning Sapho stood beside the wine dark sea. Wa de do da! Nancy, I’ve invented a time machine!

Firesign Theater

Stop the War!

Submitted by JekyllnHyde on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:49pm
JekyllnHyde's picture

@JtC

When the Big Four - President Woodrow Wilson of the United States, PM David Lloyd George of Britain, PM Vittorio Orlando of Italy, and PM Georges Clemenceau of France - gathered near Paris in 1919 to hammer out the terms of the Treaty of Versailles after World War I had ended in November, 1918, the French Prime Minister said this of President Woodrow Wilson's 14 Points:

Mr. Wilson bores me with his Fourteen Points; why, God Almighty has only Ten!

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A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 4:34pm

@JekyllnHyde
and nail to the front page, but on second thought I was afraid it would lead to a Reformation.

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Submitted by JekyllnHyde on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 9:43pm
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@JtC

... do check the front of your fridge door!

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A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 9:55pm

@JekyllnHyde
where do you think I got the idea from? Yep, the honey-do list on the fridge door.

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Submitted by snoopydawg on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 9:20pm
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@JekyllnHyde

I'm related to David Lloyd George. He's a great, great, great.....distant someone, but I grew up hearing how great he was.
Guess I'll google him and see if this true.

IMG_1205.JPG

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There were problems with running a campaign of Joy while committing a genocide? Who could have guessed?

Submitted by Timmethy2.0 on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:45pm

@JtC

Do we get a sightation?

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Beware the bullshit factories.

Submitted by Deja on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:52pm
Deja's picture

@Timmethy2.0

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Submitted by Steven D on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:27pm
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@JtC @JtC for a nice snarky piece at TOP once upon a time. Now wouldn't be worth the trouble.

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

Submitted by Anja Geitz on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 4:02pm
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@Steven D

Would've been too long over there.

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There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier

Submitted by EdMass on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:31pm
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So many rules.

My Brain Hurts.

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Prof: Nancy! I’m going to Greece!
Nancy: And swim the English Channel?
Prof: No. No. To ancient Greece where burning Sapho stood beside the wine dark sea. Wa de do da! Nancy, I’ve invented a time machine!

Firesign Theater

Stop the War!

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:36pm

@EdMass
the whip must be cracked.

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Submitted by EdMass on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:39pm
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@JtC

I LOVE Devo.

Are you Russian?

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Prof: Nancy! I’m going to Greece!
Nancy: And swim the English Channel?
Prof: No. No. To ancient Greece where burning Sapho stood beside the wine dark sea. Wa de do da! Nancy, I’ve invented a time machine!

Firesign Theater

Stop the War!

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:54pm

@EdMass
but I did stay at an Azimut Inn last night.

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Submitted by EdMass on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:01pm
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@JtC

Only a Russian would go to a "Hotel" when the real Azimut is a Yacht!

http://www.azimutyachts.com

Silly Russian...

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Prof: Nancy! I’m going to Greece!
Nancy: And swim the English Channel?
Prof: No. No. To ancient Greece where burning Sapho stood beside the wine dark sea. Wa de do da! Nancy, I’ve invented a time machine!

Firesign Theater

Stop the War!

Submitted by WaterLily on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:35pm
WaterLily's picture

Especially in an aviation.

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Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:03pm

@WaterLily
just don't take it to the streets. Sounds yummy!

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Submitted by mimi on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:36pm
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https://www.euronews.com/live

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:05pm

@mimi
if my gibberish can be translated to any language, mimi, including english.

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Submitted by mimi on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:10pm
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@JtC @JtC @JtC
... aah forgot you wouldn't be able to understand. Sorry. Wink

there is a user at dailykos with the name of noweasels. Just to demonstrate how difficult it is to understand what can go wrong in the understanding of words that are not from your own mother language, I read this username in my mind as "now easels" and was wondering all the time why that person had chosen such a "weird" online name.

It took a real live meeting one day, when user navajo and teacherken were in Washington DC and navajo made a polite little remarkt to me, when she heard me talking about "now easels" saying, oh that's a nice way of putting it. It was only then that I realized there is a word in English that is "weasel" and looked up its meaning afterwards.

Gosh, I felt so bad. One thing happens often (to me). I believe I know the meaning of an English word and don't look it up, because - you know - why - I know the word. Shoot me. I don't.

Now I don't weasel around the dictionary anymore. I am prepared for all the embarrassing misunderstandings there can be.

oh, yes, I use a tissue, and don't drop my snot on my t-shirt. (mimi's translation of JtC's rule no. 1)

Weaseling myself around the dangerous cliffs of C99p. Smile

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https://www.euronews.com/live

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:07pm

@mimi
No translation needed.

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Submitted by Steven D on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:28pm
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@JtC @JtC No transubstantiation?

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"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

Submitted by lizzyh7 on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 6:11pm

@mimi English speaker and one of my favorite things about my Kindle is the dictionary function. All those words I feel I know, and mostly I do get them, but it has been great to look them up with just one easy motion. Now if someone asked me what hyperbole really means, I feel much more confident telling them.

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Only a fool lets someone else tell him who his enemy is. Assata Shakur

Submitted by CS in AZ on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:41pm
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What about all the violins on TV?

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Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:54pm

@CS in AZ
I prefer fiddles.

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Submitted by Not Henry Kissinger on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 5:55pm
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@CS in AZ

Way too much of that stuff on TV nowadays.

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The current working assumption appears to be that our Shroedinger's Cat system is still alive. But what if we all suspect it's not, and the real problem is we just can't bring ourselves to open the box?

Submitted by Deja on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:45pm
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Submitted by WaterLily on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 12:58pm
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@Deja

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Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:57pm

@Deja

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Submitted by WaterLily on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:00pm
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Are diktats like dikpics, only in ink?

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Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:17pm

@WaterLily
I just texted The Weiner, I await his testimony. I'll post his response when I receive it, in all it's glory.

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Submitted by Deja on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:51pm
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@JtC

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Submitted by gulfgal98 on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:47pm
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@JtC I did not know you were a 15 year old girl. Shok

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

Submitted by ChezJfrey on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:38pm

@gulfgal98

This is the internet...all of us are 15 year old girls.

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Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 4:26pm

@gulfgal98
gag me with a spoon!

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Submitted by Deja on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 4:32pm
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@JtC
Oh my gaaaaawd.

[video:https://youtu.be/Qb21lsCQ3EM]

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Submitted by gulfgal98 on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 6:12pm
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@JtC Mea culpa! Blush

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 6:32pm

@gulfgal98
misinterpret my comment about "gag me with a spoon", listen to the video that Deja posted above.

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Submitted by Not Henry Kissinger on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:03pm
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Also...

You must vote for the specter of two weasels.

I always thought it was 'the lesser of two weevils.'

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The current working assumption appears to be that our Shroedinger's Cat system is still alive. But what if we all suspect it's not, and the real problem is we just can't bring ourselves to open the box?

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:21pm

@Not Henry Kissinger
and must admit that I too, picked the weevil on the right left.

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Submitted by WaterLily on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:26pm
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@JtC

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Submitted by ChezJfrey on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:42pm

@WaterLily

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

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Submitted by Deja on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:05pm
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@Not Henry Kissinger
My teacher obviously called on me to answer a question because she knew I was a million miles away.

I answered, "The bald eagle?"

The class erupted in laughter. I was ordered to follow along and pay attention.

We were reading about the Boll Weevil. Sigh.

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Submitted by Snode on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:09pm

and the commission of bi-partiside and mutual dependency.

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Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:37pm

@Snode
to the thieves!

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Submitted by divineorder on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:13pm
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Bad

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A truth of the nuclear age/climate change: we can no longer have endless war and survive on this planet. Oh sh*t.

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:34pm

@divineorder
8 to the bar.

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Submitted by SnappleBC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:47pm
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"I will not comply"

*** edited to add ***
It was the violets that did it for me. That's just a bridge too far!

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A lot of wanderers in the U.S. political desert recognize that all the duopoly has to offer is a choice of mirages. Come, let us trudge towards empty expanse of sand #1, littered with the bleached bones of Deaniacs and Hope and Changers.
-- lotlizard

Submitted by Anja Geitz on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 1:51pm
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I think you're letting them off easy. As destructive living organisms go, I think a more apt comparison would be a choice between different strains of e-coli bacteria dressed up as a cartoon super hero.

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There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier

Submitted by Arrow on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:03pm
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@Anja Geitz cartoon superheros with 'corporate branding'. Northrup-Grumman style...

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I want a Pony!

Submitted by Anja Geitz on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:04pm
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@Anja Geitz

Two e-coli bacteria dressed up as cartoon condom superheroes?

image_2.jpg

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There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier

Submitted by QMS on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:17pm
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@Anja Geitz what's the carbon floor print of that cartoon condom?

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Submitted by Anja Geitz on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:56pm
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@QMS

I hijacked the image off something called the Internet. Lol. Amazing what comes up when you google the totally absurd. Smile

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There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier

Submitted by QMS on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 4:10pm
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@Anja Geitz absurdity not always translates well thru the tubes yunderstand

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Submitted by Snode on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 4:42pm

@Anja Geitz or the tongue-eating louse. Eats fishes tongue, attaches to the stub and replaces its tongue.

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Submitted by Anja Geitz on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 5:02pm
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@Snode

But that might impair their ability to lie.

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There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:14pm
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I always aim my sneezes AWAY from people, dammit.

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I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by Arrow on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:25pm
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n/t

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I want a Pony!

Submitted by WaterLily on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:44pm
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@Arrow And then there are Polish crullers.

chrusciki13-56a276565f9b58b7d0cad7ba.jpg

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Submitted by Arrow on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 5:44pm
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@WaterLily @WaterLily @WaterLily I can't imagine anyone cruller than JtC.

Edit: ...and the Poles will back me up on that.

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I want a Pony!

Submitted by JtC on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 5:46pm

@Arrow

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Submitted by WaterLily on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 6:22pm
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@Arrow So, apparently, can be their spin axis.

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Submitted by Arrow on Wed, 10/11/2017 - 10:26am
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@WaterLily (one last one) It's just that he shows such great cruller n tea to the common man.
(ducks)

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I want a Pony!

Submitted by Lily O Lady on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 2:44pm
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"The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?" ~Orwell, "1984"

Submitted by gjohnsit on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:02pm

I refuse to have my virtue giggling suppressed.

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Submitted by Big Al on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:09pm
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[video:https://youtu.be/yTl9zYS3_dc]

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Submitted by QMS on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:10pm
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In other words, toe the slime, folks.

sounds like a slippery slope

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Submitted by Deja on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:20pm
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@QMS
[video:https://youtu.be/KP1FqopoGxw]

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Submitted by QMS on Tue, 10/10/2017 - 3:33pm
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@Deja
and raise you one joo-joo

http://www.thisiscolossal.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/eyes-3.gif

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Submitted by Fishtroller 02 on Wed, 10/11/2017 - 9:41am

because I saw frequent put downs of this site over on DKos. This site makes them mad. You manage to manage without a massive 'community moderation' system that does nothing but encourage hall monitors, back stabbers and bullies. Good going!

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"Without the right to offend, freedom of speech does not exist." Taslima Nasrin

Submitted by Ellen North on Wed, 10/11/2017 - 1:33pm

@Fishtroller 02

In my humble opinion, they must have been mad to stay at TOP anyway. Sane people tend to not enjoy wallowing in cesspools and throwing poo out at people because they're clean and 'pure'...

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Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.

A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.