Open Thread - Friday, July 28, 2017
Submitted by NCTim on Fri, 07/28/2017 - 3:20am
It has been said that time heals all wounds. I don't agree. The wounds remain. Time - the mind, protecting its sanity - covers them with some scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.
- Rose Kennedy -
The past six months sure were tumultuous. My Sweetie, Sue, passed the last day of January. It seems so long ago. The bureaucratic stuff is all done, I think. I kept myself busy, and managed to avoid getting down. Now the loneliness and boredom are becoming noticeable.
I miss Sue, everyday. We spent the majority of our time together, and always did stuff. Now, I drink beer and dine alone.
Heh, honky tonkin', we did us some. 
I have not been out for live music, and usually just have my dinner and a beer, before going home.
Heh, the bartenders have started recognizing me.
Save me a seat, Sweetie!
Well that's about it.
Have a great weekend!
Comments
Hey NcT
A truth of the nuclear age/climate change: we can no longer have endless war and survive on this planet. Oh sh*t.
@divineorder Ok, I clicked on that and
Ok, I clicked on that and now I can't make it stop!
Hey NcT we support who you are. Glad
at least you are through the legal etc. FWIW my father in law was married 60years when his wife passed. Though he was normally not one to share in public he finally got into a group on grieving and said it helped. Namaste.
A truth of the nuclear age/climate change: we can no longer have endless war and survive on this planet. Oh sh*t.
Oh wow, sorry about that. I have no clue what to do. Wonder
if our JtC knows ? Log out, and log back in maybe?
A truth of the nuclear age/climate change: we can no longer have endless war and survive on this planet. Oh sh*t.
@divineorder Oh no, it's not a
Oh no, it's not a problem, I did get it to stop, it was just funny in an eerie sort of a way.
Social Security Disability and Medicare
Allowed me to keep my wife home, with me, and care for her. WTF don't they get?
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
@ssholes
A truth of the nuclear age/climate change: we can no longer have endless war and survive on this planet. Oh sh*t.
@NCTim
The value of humanity, in either sense. Psychopaths are like that. And that's why they must be kept out of any position where they can adversely affect others.
Luckily, that characteristic lack of empathy/willingness to harm others for personal goals is self-identifying of the psychopathic personality, making it possible to preemptively eliminate them from all such potential for routinely exerting 'expedient' power to the detriment of others as a part of their jobs. We just need to start doing that...
Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.
A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.
I read your last week's entry
with attention. I know very little about Africa or African music. Of course I read Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness and much later, I read a book called King Leopold's Ghost both of which document the complete horror and evil of colonization. Music as a way to battle that mindset....yes.
This week, best thoughts to you.
Thanks!
Just like here, there are regional influences that are quite fascinating. Afrobeat is primarily west African. Mali could be a thread all it's own. Today, we indulge in US beer drinking music.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
Well, west African music
is on my radar now. There are pockets of people all over the world doing good things. It raises my spirit just to know about them. That's one thing this place is good for....unearthing those gems, so TY for your work.
And beer drinking music? Ha. Funny thing, when I was a youngster I had just scorn for such music (you know, the arrogance and snottiness of youth and all) but I found myself stranded in locations that predominantly had that kind of music available. So, when we went out, that was usually on the menu.
Now, when I hear honky-tonk, it just brings back sweet memories.
Some Dr. Jill Stein news
A truth of the nuclear age/climate change: we can no longer have endless war and survive on this planet. Oh sh*t.
Good morning Tim and c99 friends
Hey Tim,
If I remember correctly, you play music. Why not cultivate participation in a regular session? You'll make new friends and expand your horizons. Spending a lot of time alone and in bars isn't healthy. Grieving is a process and time is a cure (despite Rose's earlier quote). Here's thinking about you and wishing you the best!
“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”
Heh
I picked up a guitar, for the first time in a long time, a few days ago. I need to knock some rust off. Telecasters can be a little unforgiving.
BTW, the routine goes something like this. Get on a motorcycle around 7 PM. Go riding around until about 9 PM. Stop at the brew pub, about 1/4 mile from home, have one and go home.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
That sounds like a pretty good schedule to me
Especially his time of year when it gets so hot later in the day.
I use a scotchbrite pad on my rusty strings, and follow it up with a coat of fast fret. Try it, you'll be back in business.
Laughing, singing, and crying is all the same release.
“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”
Rose is right . . .
It is just scar tissue over the wounds.
I wish for you that life brings you a diversion. And a bit of scar tissue.
Marilyn
"Make dirt, not war." eyo
Thanks
I know it will be alright. It is only a matter of time until some lucky lady scoops me up.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
I read that if a human being can
feel grief and heartache, it means that they feel love. It's a piece of wisdom that I've never forgotten. Patsy could relate.
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I am not a c & w fan, but this gal was like Roy Orbison. They could both sing opera. Rec'd!!
Inner and Outer Space: the Final Frontiers.
Yep
Grief comes from caring. I have the tracks, in my digital library, assigned to genres. Mostly so I can sort and created themed mixes. I don't have a C&W genre. Today's music mostly rolls up under "Honky Tonk".
I am riding up to the Jersey shore, to meet the Pittsburgh krewe, for a guys night out. There are a few of them all vacationing with family, and Monday is guys night out.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
I recall you writing that you and Sweetie
are from there. Are you thinking of moving back? It is a beautiful town built right where the 3 rivers meet. Stay and be safe, okay?
Inner and Outer Space: the Final Frontiers.
Tim, take a weekend at Hatteras.
You may be alone on your stick, but the sand is one big group.
Man, I miss NC. Every time your name or diary pops up I remember all the good times I had there. In Kansas the only waves we get are golden wheat, an' they ain't no good for ridin-. Years ago I was telling a flatlander here about riding my stick around the piers and he told me he could only drive an automatic.
There is no such thing as TMI. It can always be held in reserve for extortion.
Missed a trip to Nags Head
Last week. Thing2 and her boyfriend were there, but my fridge died and I had to scramble to recover. I am headed to the mountains, next weekend. Riding the vintage BMW to a campground rally near The Blue Ridge.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
I was on the coast,
so piedmont was a bit of an excursion. I envied the mid-staters where either the mountains or beach were equally distant. Atlantic Beach to Asheville is hardly a day trip.
Sympathize on fridge. Ours went about three weeks ago. Oldest had our coolers and couldn't be reached so had to get a couple new.
There is no such thing as TMI. It can always be held in reserve for extortion.
NC
Asheville is a long haul, even from here Luckily, the mountain ridges traverse off to the north east, placing The mountains much closer, up near VA/TN.
I saw a steel belted Coleman, recently! I had one, back in the 70s/80s, and searched for one when I purchased the current cooler. The stories that cooler could tell!
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
Morning Tim...
Looking forward to August!
Hey!
I'll get up with you, when I get back from Jersey (next week).
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
Mistah Tim, buenos dias compadre
Time can't heal nuthin, it merely marks the passage of the processes that do. Now you have to relearn how to be and do and the best way, of course, is to dive in and be and do.
That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --
Agreed
I just need to find some co-conspirators. We had a running joke, stolen from Elvin Bishop, that I would use on the kids whenever the timing was appropriate. "Best party I was ever at, was just two people".
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
You can never fill the emptiness
in your heart when you lose your love, but you can fill the gap of time. Perhaps you can find a jam group to become involved with. Here in our town, they are everywhere and free. Music is always good medicine for the soul and you may find a nice group of different people to enjoy too. I hope you can find some joy back in your life, not as a replacement for what you have lost, but as medicine to help you get through the loneliness you are currently experiencing. This is another phase in your life's journey. Hopefully it will become a positive one too. All my best wishes, Tim.
Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?
“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy
Thanks GG
I hadn't been playing much guitar. Between time management, motivation and needing to be out of the house. Guitar got pushed to the back burner. I was thinking of re-starting lessons, then I got an email that my guy's cancer has come back.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
So, media is sucking McCain off again...
And as I sit here, remembering that I had to shell out cash for pain meds, because under obamacare, dental meds are NOT covered...
Seriously. Had to buy my own antibiotics for an infected tooth.
Supposedly the VA is supposed to cover my drugs, but they don't cover dental. So OHP covers my dental as a result... but they don't cover drugs because VA covers those...
And as a result I got jack shit and I'm supposed to be happy because the asshole who was 100% covered for brain surgery raced back to cover his own ass.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
I know what you mean
I spent a couple years navigating a BCBS versus Medicare landscape, while caring for Sue. Our big hassle was durable medical goods. Things like motorized wheelchair, dedicated comms device, lifts and such. Now, I am on a COBRA and dental is all me. All the dental offered on the ACA exchange sucked. Certainly a place for improvement. I have been teetering near dental crisis/investment for awhile now. Yeah, funk McCain.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -
It is always hard to grieve for a person who was once
vibrant and healthy and then at the time of their death they were a shell of who they used to be.
After I lost my brother, I grieved for the 60lbs person who had just died. Then around 6 months later, I started the grieving process all over again because this time I was grieving for the healthy, vibrant, funny as hell person he used to be.
It has been over two decades since his death and there are some days that I feel guilty because I can't remember all of the good times we had together. He was my best friend and my bridge to my mom.
Now I am going through this process all over again with my mom's death. At first I was relieved that she wasn't suffering any more. And now I am being hit daily with the knowledge that she is not a part of my life anymore, and I am thinking back to the days that she was.
I hope that you are able to continue to move forward through your grief process. There is not right or wrong way to do it, nor is there a time frame that you need to be done with it.
Hopefully there will be a day in your future when you think of Sue and realize that the pain isn't as deep.
In the meantime, travel, ride your bike, think of the times that Sue was beside you and find one thing that brings a smile to your lips.
In memory of Sue, Rick and my mom
Scientists are concerned that conspiracy theories may die out if they keep coming true at the current alarming rate.