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Open Thread - Friday, January 6, 2017 - Epiphany Edition

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I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking.
~ Albert Einstein ~

Greetings on the Epiphany. I have been striving for an epiphany3. I am losing my Sweetie and I still have not reconciled with myself. How do I make my way without her?

I am having anxiety about handling the transition. I have not figured out how to eulogize Sweetie and do not feel like dealing with all the people who come to offer condolences. I would rather crawl into a hole.

Things have been pretty rough. Sweetie works hard to breath. She had texted that she was suffering from dry mouth, so I changed the medication regimen. The medication change cured the dry mouth, but caused her to have more saliva and secretions than she could handle, resulting in a negligible sleep night and a lot of struggling.

I made another adjustment to the medication regimen and we were able to get some sleep. Thank goodness I did not introduce hysteresis.

It is surprisingly easy to ignore thinking about the future challenges. Between caring for Sweetie, dealing with the medical service providers and maintaining a household, I am usually distracted.

Well that's funkin' it. If I have an epiphany, I will let you know.

Have a great funkin' weekend!

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mimi's picture

Lately I am wondering how the world would have "progressed" without Einstein's non-rational thinking based discoveries.

How can I distract you? With the worst music video?
[video:https://youtu.be/gWOzUzJd6wM]

ok, don't listen.

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riverlover's picture

everything.Trying to compose a message for my son, who has offered to be by his mother's side in my grief. Better done by voice than message that it would be nice, but uneccesary. Spelling-off,

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

riverlover's picture

three days before 97. I am slightly taken away, tear drops form. I have informed my kids, not by text message. One answered, one other at work got a voice mail. The cremation Society has been notified, body will be dealt with by them, I wrote the obit, short and sweet, 6 months ago. An orphan and widow at 63.

Tim, you will make it through. It's a choice. You will be shaken, not stirred. Heart goes out to you both.

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

Raggedy Ann's picture

My thoughts are with you on this mournful day.

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"The “jumpers” reminded us that one day we will all face only one choice and that is how we will die, not how we will live." Chris Hedges on 9/11

she passed peacefully.

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orlbucfan's picture

RL: Please keep writing as much as you can. You, too, NCTim. It has proven to be one of the very best methods in dealing w/psi loss in psychology. It's also very old. Rec'd!!

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Inner and Outer Space: the Final Frontiers.

We used the cremation society for my FIL. His wish. It was the most meaningful, personal, and cheapest funeral I ever attended.

When he was told he had six month or less, he and my MIL came to my house to wait. The day hospice said this was it, we sat with my MIL by his best side. After he passed, we called the rest of his children and grandchildren to let them know. Those who could came over immediately to say goodbye. While we waited for the cremation society to come for his body, we cooked and ate breakfast together. We talk about old times and a million remember whens. There was no funeral, no showing, no memorial other than the night and morning we spent together to commemorate his passing.

My husband and I have decided this is exactly what we want.

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"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

janis b's picture

Stay warm and cozy and gentle with yourself.

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mimi's picture

I assume your mother was in a nursing home or were you at her side of her death?

I really got not over the fact that I wasn't at the bedside of my mother when she died. She also just slipped silently away according to my sister. I visited the grave of my father and mother, both being in the same burial spot side by side. It was neglected. A couple of meters away my sisters husband and her daughter are buried. My sister doesn't like graveyards, so she let it be taken care of by the administration of the graveyard's burial grounds.

I want to be buried in my son's garden, if he ever manages to have one. I live alone but feel it's not that difficult to handle for me. So many things I still want to do.

So, yes, I say to NCTim too that he shouldn't fear what is coming. death is final and amazingly we accept it as that more easily than one probably has imagined. And my thoughts go out to you both and my kudos to NCTim for his strength to care for his sweety..

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Lookout's picture

We shall all be released. Peace to you all till that day. (4 min)

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyCn8IC5RpE]

I'm trying to send good thoughts your way...

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

Raggedy Ann's picture

Death is for the living. When my husband died, I was 34, why was it for me? So I could see that life must and will go on and I still had a purpose to fulfill. When my mom died, I was 41. Why was it for me? So I could help my dad prepare for his life at home, alone. When my dad died 9 months later on my 42nd birthday, why was it for me? So I could look back and know that I did my best as a daughter and could release him/them with no regrets.

Death shows us the fragility of life. Death shows us that how we live, matters. Death teaches us WHAT matters. Hopefully, we learn it, learn how to live in a loving manner, learn that life is short, so be the best person you can be.

Death is for the living, so go on living and loving as best as you can. Your purpose is not yet fulfilled. When it is, you can join your sweetie.

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"The “jumpers” reminded us that one day we will all face only one choice and that is how we will die, not how we will live." Chris Hedges on 9/11

MsGrin's picture

Saying goodbye is so intimate...

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'What we are left with is an agency mandated to ensure transparency and disclosure that is actually working to keep the public in the dark' - Ann M. Ravel, former FEC member

MsGrin's picture

A tribute to a young, middle-aged wife and mother who is dearly missed - she directed how she wanted her services to go... this clip doesn't quite get the full scene, but couldn't find another:

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'What we are left with is an agency mandated to ensure transparency and disclosure that is actually working to keep the public in the dark' - Ann M. Ravel, former FEC member

Big Al's picture

You'll make it.

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riverlover's picture

I am slowly devolving. BTDT. I will be ok but sad. No weakness allowed. All phone calls to her two surviving friends, including her lawyer. Very tired, but dressed.

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

mimi's picture

US tanks roll into Germany to bolster NATO deterrent

BERLIN — Ships began unloading U.S. tanks, self-propelled howitzers and hundreds of other fighting vehicles Friday in the northern German port of Bremerhaven, to be moved into Eastern Europe to bolster NATO's deterrence against possible Russian aggression.

Some 3,500 troops from the 4th Infantry Division in Fort Carson, Colorado, will join up with the equipment, which includes 87 tanks and 144 Bradley fighting vehicles, over the next two weeks.

The deployment marks the start of a new phase of Operation Atlantic Resolve, which foresees the continuous presence of an American armored brigade combat team in Europe on a nine-month rotational basis. The mission is meant to help allay concerns from Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland and other NATO allies over an increasingly unpredictable and bellicose Russia.

And the US is predictable and less bellicose ?

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orlbucfan's picture

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Inner and Outer Space: the Final Frontiers.

Lookout's picture

They had it all lined up. Hellery at the helm. CIA leading the way. with NATO and Europe cheering them on...

That's behind all the Russia bashing, IMO.

Another insightful interview with Glenn Greenwald again today on Democracy Now. (6 and 10 min)
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nztqwj5BOPI]

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh3fKrLk-sE]

Can't remember which clip talks about CIA involvement, but both are great!

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

No law says you have to do a eulogy.

You could do music, pass out some poems, let someone else do the eulogy, whatever.

You are obviously a genius. You'll think of something.

Just don't feel constrained by what you think people expect of you. Everyone will be pulling for you, no matter what.

This is not about the people who will attend the services. It is about you and Sweetie.

You'll get through, just as you have gotten through everything to date. Trust that history.

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riverlover's picture

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

mimi's picture

Despite his controversial record, Democrats will only get to call four witnesses during the course of a two-day hearing.

Kabuki two-day hearing ?

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Lookout's picture

and one of my senators. Shallow end of the gene pool type.

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

enhydra lutris's picture

when epiphanies are scarce I focus on Epiphones, instead. One in particular.

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

mimi's picture

How Many Bombs Did the United States Drop in 2016?

In President Obama’s last year in office, the United States dropped 26,171 bombs in seven countries.

There are details in the article, if you are up to reading them.

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janis b's picture

You’ll find your way through it all. Your big, caring heart will help you too, as it always has for Sweetie.

The people around you will understand, having in some way themselves, also experienced feelings of profound loss in their lives. I think this is one time when there will be no expectations of you, and much sympathy for however you choose to express yourself.

You have a talent for expressing a lot with just a few sentences and a song title.

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