What I Really Want for The Holidays
The joy of the holiday season is rapidly approaching. The season of love, family and of course, gift-giving. First up is Thanksgiving Day where millions will gorge themselves silly, watch football on TV, and argue with their relations all while proclaiming how much they are all thankful for. And then follow all the other holidays in rapid succession, the ones at which gifts are exchanged among friends and family: Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, and, in my wife's family's tradition (she's first generation Japanese-American, her mother and deceased father having immigrated to this country from Japan in the mid-fifties), New Year's Day.
As many of you know, the retail sales industry has generated it's own special days (Black Friday, for example) to spur people to come to their stores or shop online for the numerous gifts that so many of us feel compelled to buy at this time of year. In fact, Amazon.com chose to extend its "Black Friday" deals for an entire 35 day period that Forbes magazine has labeled Black Month. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy! Or not.
For many reasons, not least the ugly and undignified election campaign that recently concluded with the election of Donald Trump, a man known for his outsized appetite for wealth and all the things it can bring him, I'm not really feeling the holiday spirit this year. Oh, I suppose I will buy gifts for my family members, but the whole idea of participating in this consumerist driven exercise to bring "joy" through giving and receiving "stuff" (often stuff that has little real value and elicits at best only a brief moment of pleasure to its recipients) is one I find a bit nauseating at the moment. Perhaps you share this sentiment.
In light of this feeling, I made a decision this morning. I have enough stuff. A gift card or a sweater or whatever one of my relatives might wrap up in a box with special decorative paper tied off with colorful ribbons and bows isn't what I need right now. What I need is to feel that I am helping other people, people who are worse off than me, vulnerable people, the people our exceptional nation ignores every damn day. For myself, after some further thought, I determined I wanted to act locally to do something for the community where I live.
But how? I'm not rich, though we do give to charities and other causes when we have a spare dollar or two. Then it came to me. It's hardly an original idea. You see it all the time when someone dies and the family requests that "in lieu of flowers the family requests that you send donations to ..." some charity or cause that was usually near and dear to the heart of the deceased person. Well, I don't want to wait until I die to ask people to donate to a cause I care about. Instead, I sent the following email to my immediate family, the ones that typically give me presents for the holidays:
Hi everybody,
I know every year all of you usually give me a gift for Christmas and/or New Years Day. So, after some thought, I decided to tell you what I want as early as possible, and it's a gift that won't require having to do any shopping, so that has to be a bonus, right?
I already have lots of stuff. And while getting gift cards for Amazon or Starbucks (my usual request) would be nice, again, that would just result in more stuff that I would get myself.
So, I've decided what I would really like this Christmas is to receive whatever sum of money that you would normally spend on me so I could make a donation in the total amount I receive to a local charity.
After some research, the charity I've chosen is the [local domestic violence center]. They provide services to women, teens and children who have suffered from domestic violence within all of XXXXXX County. [...]
Obviously, none of you have to give me a Christmas/New Year's present.
However, if you were intending to get me something anyway, I thought you might like to know what I wanted. Please know that I'm not asking anyone to spend more on me than they normally would, and that if you choose to do this, no amount is too small.
Because, rather than receiving gifts that benefit only me, I'd like to be in the position to make a donation to a charity that is providing valuable services to domestic violence victims in XXXXXX County ...
Just thought you would like to know this before the holiday shopping season is upon us.
All my love,
Steve
Might I suggest, that, if you feel as I do this year, and are in a position where you can forego receiving the usual bounty (i.e., electronic devices, earrings, gift cards, etc., etc. etc.), that you send your friends and loved ones a similar email. And in that email ask them to give you, instead of a sweater or whatever, an amount equal to what they would have spent on you anyway so you can donate that sum to a worthy cause you care passionately about (say the Water Protectors at Standing Rock, just as one hypothetical example).
Respectfully offered for your consideration.
Steve
Ps. Sure hope no one has already bought me a sweater yet.
Comments
Bah humbug.
I'll be spending xmas, as I have for the last ten years, at the homeless shelter preparing and serving meals to those who have no tree to gather round.
I'm sick of commercialization. It's much better for the soul to celebrate love.
Regardless of the path in life I chose, I realize it's always forward, never straight.
You're a good egg
as my mother used to say.
"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott
Very nice idea
Thank you.
Marilyn
"Make dirt, not war." eyo
I'm thankful I'm not a Clinton nor a Hilbot.
I've seen lots of changes. What doesn't change is people. Same old hairless apes.
I grew up in deep poverty.
I remember times my mom had to rely on charity from friends and neighbors who couldn't afford it themselves (we all took turns, seemingly, being in that spot). I remember her sitting at the table some meals with tears in her eyes and an empty plate trying so hard to maintain the lie that she'd already eaten dinner. And I tear up every time I think of it.
So now that I'm affluent, I make it a point to donate as much as I can to charity. I give monthly to a few charities. During the holidays I try to do more. I receive grants of stock every quarter as part of my compensation package. It's not much, just a couple grand worth, but I donate almost all of my 4th quarter grants to Second Harvest. This reminds me I had better liquidate those shares before my trade window expires. I'm thankful for that reminder, and so much more that I have in "meatspace" besides.
This year my wife and I are planning on taking our oldest (pre-K boy) to a food bank or homeless shelter to help with the meals. That's important, too. Possibly more so than giving money.
What I really want is for this country to stop treating poverty, mental illness, and drug addiction as though they represent some moral failure on the part of the victims. I desperately want that. But I don't think I'll get it any time soon. So I do what I can.
Kudos, Stephen!
Not buying more STUFF -whether or not it has any utility in our lives- is the only way we can have a lasting effect on the economy which drives the very elites seeking to dominate the world. I have no more room in my house for STUFF, because with three adult children living in my home with THEIR STUFF, I'm almost to the point of moving out if I could afford it. I can't.
So I endorse your desire to help those in need over indulging in the materialism of the season. In doing so, we'd be more like the guy all those so-called Xtians claim as their personal deity than they will demonstrate with their pious inaction.
BUT WAIT! THAT'S NOT ALL!
We can also advocate solidarity with these who pose as religious by supporting their efforts to prove that Yeshua is the reason for the season through our caring for the poor and downtrodden and going without additional swag ourselves.
Is that not the True Christian Thing To Do any time of the year? Or have they been lying to us all these centuries?
Vowing To Oppose Everything Trump Attempts.
We're having the usual Family Drama
where some members of the family wind up not speaking to each other. This year it's my Mom and me. She really shouldn't be trying to do a proper Thanksgiving, with a healing collarbone and all, but she thinks it's important enough to do so, to guilt my brother into coming down from Connecticut (with OR without his daughter), and to dragoon me into helping out even though I'm not in much better shape than she is and she knows it.
My niece claims she "can't get away" from work before Wednesday, so this year my brother is coming down on Tuesday (to start the cooking as he promised) and picking her up at the bus stop 50 miles away on Wednesday. (No mass transit to this lousy burg, not any more.) Mom doesn't think that will allow him enough time to get everything done, and then she started in on me, "making sure" that I'd be over to help (after work, because I have to work 11-3). After the second or third repeat of "Aren't you coming over?", I snapped "Yes, yes, yes!", and she got mad and hung up on me. Serve her right if I don't come over after all - but of course I can't opt out (wish I could!).
I hate Thanksgiving and wish they'd just abolish it - they've almost done so already, by jacking the sales right over the so-called "holiday".
There is no justice. There can be no peace.
Thanksgiving is not for us working class
last year my daughter had to work Black Friday which actually started at 6pm on Thursday. The buses didn't run that day due to holiday so the malls were filled with young workers who had no way to get to and from work
One day off just isn't enough for many. But so many don't even get that off.
I HATE black friday. It's a damn stain.
"Love One Another" ~ George Harrison
Black Friday is a Consumerist Orgy.
Started thinking about it in those terms, and abstaining is SO much easier.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Hello PDX Friend :)
I do not and have never partaken in Black Friday. Never will.
Some even say it's a fcuking tradition now. "Oh but it's tradeeeeshun."
"Love One Another" ~ George Harrison
Oh BTW, never mentioned it...
And probably should have but that sweet little treat you gave me knocked me on my ass.
Was great though, but had to remember how to walk at one point.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
I wondered. :)
I forget now what the strain even was. But it was medicinal
Sorry it knocked you out like that was not my intention.
Hope to see all PDX99% soon but after this season.
"Love One Another" ~ George Harrison
Another suggestion
I think it's been mentioned before but it's worth mentioning again, if you must buy things and you use Amazon go to smile.amazon.com, pick a charity and Amazon donates .1% of your purchase to your selected charity. It's not much but it doesn't cost you anything extra.
This shit is bananas.
I agree StevenD
Good idea. I certainly don't need stuff.
I just want peace on earth. What happened to that? I think you should add that to your wish list. Maybe it can go viral? God bless.
Everything I once loved about this season,
I now absolutely loathe.
I am so happy I no longer work in grocery. Already a huge difference but this holiday season just sucks.
When my husband was in Ireland during this time a few years back, many of his co-workers there were asking him "So tell me, what the hell is Thanksgiving about?" and he'd tell him it was about being thankful and gratitude. They would then say, "then wtf is Black Friday all about?"
Gratitude? Followed by such morbid greed.
This is what the holiday is really about...
"Love One Another" ~ George Harrison
When I first heard "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
I was struck by Bob Geldof's line towards the middle of the song:
I'm still moved by it.
"Just call me Hillbilly Dem(exit)."
-H/T to Wavey Davey
Thanksgiving
Several years ago I was fretting about keeping track of all the financial details of my life. I really hate bookkeeping particularly when it is about the convoluted confusion of the everyday. I so much prefer the serenity of the elementary.
A sociologist friend suggested a rather attractive approach: Let the professionals handle the details. He told me to get a (as in one) zero fee credit card, go about my daily routine using the card even for the smallest purchases, and pay it off each billing cycle. I checked out various options until I stumbled upon a socially conscious company. The company was relatively new and supported a portfolio I found intriguing. And the fact that each time I use the card the company credits a small donation to my designated organization.
I don't even care that Bank of America has taken over administering Working Assets®. For its work Bank of America gets the merchant fees, late fees, and the ledger leverage. It is a big bank, my "contribution" is so very tiny, the bookkeeping expense come out of the merchant fees, and we have paid late fees of less than $5.00 over the 20 years of being a cardholder since 1996.
Bank of America corporate executives want Working Assets® to disappear, and so this will come to pass. I suppose my only option is to live long enough to be the "last man standing".