Merry Christmas! Remember to keep Christ in Christmas!

Ahh, there is little in any of the myriad existences which give as much joy to a Devil's heart as the twisting of one's mortal enemy's name into the most offensive and pushy of curses. Truly, it can be said that the greatest turning point in our war against HIM was when we discovered that by proselytizing for him, in our own way, we could do him more harm than by all the evils inflicted on mankind in our own beauteous forms.

It is sad, admittedly, to put aside the pitchfork (and how sad to renounce the horns and the hooves of yesteryear as well) and take up the cross, but one cannot argue with results.

Many years ago, in a graduation speech, I had the misfortune to have my powers of prophecy leave me. I predicted that we would no longer be able to sup on the fine souls of the greatest of sinners. Of course, that was before I had realized the great potential that mankind had for justification of sin. I had known about it for many years, of course, but I had not realized that merely by calling something a "reward" for hard work, that the most grievous and heinous of sins would be considered both desirable and enviable. (And the fact that to envy is in fact considered a virtue by modern man, well, I cannot claim the credit for that.)

Today, I look about at the landscape, and am amazed at how far we have come. The greatest of oppression, lauded as virtue. The greatest of indulgence, lauded as just rewards. Murder by machine lauded as patriotism. I pause to shed a tear at the last, for the embracing of mass murder as patriotic, infusing justified rage into what would have been a few decades ago a clinical application, makes all the more human, and all the more tasty, the vintage distilled. Such a cornucopia of tastes, all seasoned with that lovely flavor of pride and surety in their salvation.

But what makes my heart soar is the fashioning of the plowshares of the enemy into our swords. The use of the tools of government to force our version of the enemy's love onto the foolish mortals. It is nothing less than a glorious expression of our power upon the enemy. A rape of the soul and spirit, which the enemy can do nothing against. After all, he cannot take, which is his folly. We can, and have, and those who worship us under the delusion that they do his will present a taste to delight the senses that I have not enjoyed since the time of the Pharisees.

I regret my temporary infatuation with the trappings of mysticism and paganism. In my foolish youth, I assumed that the trappings of other faiths would drive the mortal fools into ever heightened states of sin. Sadly, it seems to have had the opposite effect, seeing as he seems to gain more followers with every little act of devotion they do. Mark well, you younger devils, that merely failing to follow the lines of dogma which we have set forth does not encourage sin. Indeed, our rituals and prescriptions are designed to drive man from Him, not bring him closer. Even in a midnight ritual at the Acropolis, there exists the beauty and majesty of his confounded creation, and when man truly attempts to touch the divine, he will. Keep man constrained, docile, in his rituals, his anger at outsiders, and most of all, in his sin. A righteous sinner is all the more tasty.

Let us leave on a high note. I see that many of you have been embracing the concept of austerity in your patients as of late. While the concept of inflicting suffering on the creatures is admirable, take care to not raise their ire too far. This current crop of patients is by far one of the most glorious sights to behold, but remember that of such sinners are also the great saints and heroes made. Carefully, carefully must you prune. Gently you must increase the suffering. Above all else, ensure that they envy those that hurt them. It is only through their endless and foolish hope that we may ultimately consume them.

Screwtape

(Apologies to C.S. Lewis.)