I hope you guys like it!

The Grand Nominee

"I, I, I! Me, me, ME!
I'm the Grand Nominee!
For thus I have spoken,
And so it shall be!

New Rules and Procedures
Read thus, and I quote:
‘If it isn't for ME,
Then we won't count your vote!’

I've got great gobs of Bux,
Never mind the amount;
Enough Bux to make sure
Your non-ME vote won't count!

So you see, that Non-Nominee
Hasn't a hope!
If your vote's not for me,
Then it's nope, nope nope nope!

I've got ME-vote patrollers
Patrolling the polls,
So you non-ME-vote voters
Drop right off the rolls!

I've got ME-vote machines
Voting ME in each State!
If the winner's not ME,
They'll re-re-tabulate!

If you happen to vote
For the Non-Nominee,
They'll mark one vote for you,
And one, two votes for ME!

Then, if ever a race
Gets a little too close,
I've got boxes and columns
Of extra ME-votes!

I’ll explain why I must
Be the Grand Nominee.
I've been setting this up!
It's important, you see!

I've got Flangers to sell
To the Fleebs in Flazoo!
I've got Goop to get out
Of the Ground, yes I do!

And I'll surely be helping
The ones with the Stars
Put the ones without Stars
Upon Thars behind Bars!

All the Huxsters and Buxsters
Are counting on ME,
To bring them MORE Bux
As the Grand Nominee!

And this Non-Nominee, Who's he?
Why's he so cool?
He likes Fairness? Peace?
The Environment? SCHOOL?!

Ha, ha, HA! What a Dreamer!
No, those things can't be.
For those things all take Bux,
And all Bux flow to ME!

I've got Friends in High Places,
Some Arrs and some Dees!
I've got humbugs and toadies
On all the teevees!

I pay them to handle
My scandal and sleaze!
Saying, ‘There's no alternative!
Unity, PLEASE!

Just shut up and vote for her!
She must get in!
Or else it's the Monster
With Orangey Skin!’

I've got trolls on the internet,
Two Buxes each!
They titter and gloat!
They impugn and impeach!

If you tell them you're voting
For someone I'm not,
They'll mention how many more
ME-votes I've got!

They're paid to destroy,
And disqualify, too,
And other nice things
That ME-publicans do...

Like pretend to believe things
That aren't quite true.
Like ruin your party,
And then blame it on you.

‘Nice party!’ they snide,
‘It would sure be a shame
Well, if something should happen...
Why, who would we blame?’”

---

But they're NOT nice.
They're just as NOT NICE as folks get.
And that something *has* happened...
They just don't get it yet.

No, they're Not Nice, that Party.
They're not nice at all,
And a Thing they're about
To find out in the Fall:

All us non-ME-vote voters,
Who are Feelin' the Bern,
Though you've stated quite clearly
That This was Her Turn,

Have been holding our noses
Since way before when.
If our votes don't count now,
Then don't count on them then.

We will not be threatened,
Or bullied, or bought.
We'll vote with our consciences.
Yield, we will not.

Though you've made it quite clear,
With a jeer and a scoff,
That us non-ME-vote-voters
Can just flump right on off,

You may find, come November,
As you land on your Trump,
It’s astonishing, just
How far off we can flump.

Only OUR Nominee
Can defeat that Orange Grump.
If you cheat, your "Nice" Party
Winds up in the Dump,

And your ME-vote machines
Will go out with the trash,
And your Grand Nominee,
And her Great Gobs of Cash,

Can all book a long flight
From the tip of our shoe
To the point of Greed Island
Off Outer Flazoo!