UPDATED: Hillary Jumps the Shark

This is not shark snark! The real sign that the Mad-bomber is politically washed-up. You may remember when Jeb! made a commercial after dropping out of the 2016 primary. Walter Mondale made a commercial after losing. What happened to these two fellows? They dropped out of sight very soon after. Well, now Hillary has jumped the shark.

The shark wasn't too hard to jump--it was beached after all. But here is the ideal theme for the ad campaign:

Duties
A shoe salesperson greets customers and asks if they need assistance. Merchandise recommendations are made based on what the customer is looking for. A shoe salesperson highlights the features of each pair of shoes displayed that interest the customer. He then answers questions, demonstrates the differences between brands, and gives customers his opinions on fit, style and appearance. In most retail establishments, a shoe salesperson handles customer checkout, collecting payment and entering purchases into the store’s register. He informs customers of current sales and store promotions and policies, such as returns and exchanges.

Skills
Shoe salespeople need to be customer oriented, helpful and friendly. They must be responsive to customer needs and knowledgeable about their product lines. An outgoing personality is vital, as the job involves constant contact with customers. Good communication skills allow a shoe salesperson to explain information such as brand differences and trends. A good shoe salesperson is persuasive and persistent, without being pushy. Optimistic self-motivators do well in this profession, as a shoe salesperson must approach each sale with enthusiasm and vigor.

How would Medusa rank as a shoe sales person (SSP)? Let's go down the above list:

1. A shoe salesperson greets customers and asks if they need assistance.
HRC tells people what she wants

2. Merchandise recommendations are made based on what the customer is looking for.
HRC doesn't give a crap about what you are looking for

3. A shoe salesperson highlights the features of each pair of shoes displayed that interest the customer.
HRC features the things that will bring the most money for her

4. He then answers questions, demonstrates the differences between brands, and gives customers his opinions on fit, style and appearance.
HRC has two answers: "Russians", "I'm not Trump"

5. In most retail establishments, a shoe salesperson handles customer checkout, collecting payment and entering purchases into the store’s register.
HRC collects payments but puts them in her pocket

6. She informs customers of current sales and store promotions and policies, such as returns and exchanges.
HRC: "You'll take what I give you and like it". No exchanges at any time because "I am perfect".

7. Shoe salespeople need to be customer oriented, helpful and friendly.
HRC is oriented to her customers (banks, Pharma, Oil etc.) She is friendly with George Soros, Henry Kissinger, and Dubya.

8. They must be responsive to customer needs and knowledgeable about their product lines.
HRC--see answer number 4.

9. Good communication skills allow a shoe salesperson to explain information such as brand differences and trends.
HRC communication--see answer number 6
HRC--favorite topic of conversation is "Me, myself, I, and Mine".

10. A good shoe salesperson is persuasive and persistent, without being pushy.
HRC scores well on persistence; the other two not so much

11. Optimistic self-motivators do well in this profession, as a shoe salesperson must approach each sale with enthusiasm and vigor.
Enthusiasm, yes! Vigor--able to "work" 1 day per week.

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Comments

dervish's picture

That's a good fit for her. Let's hope that she's satisfied to the point that she foregoes any further political ambitions.

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"Obama promised transparency, but Assange is the one who brought it."

Alligator Ed's picture

@dervish @dervish Job qualifications of a shoe salesman.

URL verification.

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Centaurea's picture

The Hillary, according to the Katy Perry Collection website:

THE HILLARY
$139.00

Step in and reach for the stars in this dreamy suede pump complete with a lucite heel filled with glistening stars and moons.

The shoe is available in seafoam green or millennial pink.

Take a look at The Hillary here:

http://www.katyperrycollections.com/the-hillary/d/90014C9505?CategoryId=303

A few thoughts:

I think this shoe is clunky-looking, and it looks like it would be uncomfortable to wear. Of course, my days of suffering to be stylish in 3 1/2 heels and pointed toes ended a couple of decades ago.

Do Millennials really like that insipid shade of pink?

What, specifically, makes this shoe Hillary-like?

Given Hillary's medical problems and observed propensity for losing her balance and falling, it seems like prancing in 3 1/2 inch heels might not be the best thing. Actually, doesn't she usually wear flats or low heels?

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"Don't go back to sleep ... Don't go back to sleep ... Don't go back to sleep."
~Rumi

"If you want revolution, be it."
~Caitlin Johnstone

Alligator Ed's picture

@Centaurea After some use, it stinks. Its milieu is dirt and sometimes it is festooned with dog shit.

I think Pink is a fitting color for the Evil Queen.

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@Alligator Ed

Nice cartoon, thanks! I suppose the Oil-Mad Bomber suckler is crawling up her rear end, out of visibility in this shot?

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Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.

A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.

Alligator Ed's picture

@Ellen North

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gulfgal98's picture

@Centaurea @Centaurea in my early 30's. I do not understand how anyone can wear 4.5 inch heels. No one, not even young girls, can walk in those things. I would love to see Hillary toddling around in a pair of those shoes. Bad

BTW, I only wear flats now.

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

@gulfgal98 I watch young women lawyers wearing those things, no hose, as trendy as you can get. They walk with their knees bent so their foot lands flat. Normal walking is heel first. They look afflicted, most have band aids on their heels due to blisters.
I watch them hobble up and down courthouse steps and wonder if their clients like that.
I can and do wear up to 2 3/4 inch heels, but they are big heels, not spike. I am only 5'1", and turn 65 in 2 weeks. I want to avoid having opposing attorneys look way, way down on me.

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"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981

Centaurea's picture

@gulfgal98 and @on the cusp It's ironic, isn't it? A shoe dedicated to Hillary Clinton, the darling of so many second and third wave feminists who have projected their own issues onto her; a shoe that hobbles the women who wear it.

Yes, the same women who complained vociferously about those sexist, mysogynist Bernie Bros are voluntarily wearing shoes that hobble them.

(Full disclosure for those who don't know, I'm a second-wave feminist. I was in the first year of the first wave of women lawyers to hit the law schools in the '70s. All I wear now are flats and sneaker-type shoes. I feel truly liberated now! Wink )

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"Don't go back to sleep ... Don't go back to sleep ... Don't go back to sleep."
~Rumi

"If you want revolution, be it."
~Caitlin Johnstone

Alligator Ed's picture

@Centaurea Not be a slave to fashion. Avoid the corns, blisters, deformed toes, increased low back pain. be judged by your mores, knowledge, empathy, etc. This message is coming from a die-hard Bernie-bro.

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Alligator Ed's picture

@on the cusp As an orthopedist friend of mine said, most unexpectedly considering the source, is that the spine exists to keep the head off the ground. Meaning, of course, that height doesn't matter; it's the brain that does.

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@Centaurea

Lol, they must have read this; the shoe I saw at the link was green.

Frankly, it struck me as a mismatched jury-rig, as the heel doesn't seem to me to 'go with' the shoe itself, and the stars and moon also looked rather crude to me. The green wasn't too bad but a bit pastel-y for my personal taste. I wouldn't want such a shoe, myself, but the association with Hillary would kill any urges toward it dead in their track-shoes anyway.

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Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.

A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.

Centaurea's picture

@Ellen North It's false advertising, too. It says "filled with glistening stars and moons" but the distribution of the little glittery things in the heel is actually pretty sparse. Blum 3

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"Don't go back to sleep ... Don't go back to sleep ... Don't go back to sleep."
~Rumi

"If you want revolution, be it."
~Caitlin Johnstone

Alligator Ed's picture

@Centaurea

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I heard she is even wearing a leather jacket, to go with her "few more seasons" of failure. LOL

When a TV show’ has run its course and yet stays on the air, there’s only one thing for its writers to do: Jump. The. Shark. Start throwing its characters into increasingly outlandish storylines in the hope that something will draw viewers in. And once that shark is jumped, it maybe flounders in rough waters for a few more seasons before mercifully, finally sinking.

Have mercy and finally sink faster please. Thanks.

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Alligator Ed's picture

@eyo @eyo @eyo many of our younger members might not understand the derivation of the term.

Now, please pardon me. I have to eat a shark

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@Alligator Ed

I'd suggest that you spit the shoes out, due to bad taste.

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0 users have voted.

Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.

A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.