Those scary, scary Russians and their dastardly peace talks
Those darn Russians are aggressively threatening everyone.
Don't believe me? Just look at this Bloomberg article published today titled:
How NATO Is Preparing for the New Cold War
A huge military exercise in Norway signals the alliance’s pivot back to its original foe, Russia.
“If we discount the martians, there is no one else who can attack Norway apart from Russia,” says Aleksandr Golts, a Russian military analyst who observed the NATO exercise, which ended earlier this month. “The scenario and the sheer number of troops involved in both this and similar Russian exercises show that we are back to the Cold War-time military confrontation.”
Because Martians have made as many threats to Norway as Russia has.
So what has Russian been doing to scare NATO so much?
Well, for starters, they are conducting an unauthorized Afghan peace summit.
Russia has hosted a landmark international meeting on Afghanistan in Moscow aimed at kick-starting peace talks after decades of war.
It is the first time Taliban militants have attended such an event.
Members of Afghanistan's High Peace Council, which oversees peace efforts but does not represent the Afghan government, were also present...The US had observer status.
...Western officials and the Afghan government view the Moscow talks with some suspicion - some fear it could derail other efforts at negotiations.
... Neither the US nor the Afghan government wants Russia to lead such an initiative, known as the "Moscow Format".
Darn those Russians for derailing our virtually non-existent peace efforts in Afghanistan by arranging their own successful Afghan peace talks.
Russia’s presidential envoy for Afghanistan, Zamir Kabulov, says that "the U.S. and NATO hasn’t only failed to solve the problem but exacerbated it.” Which happens to be true, but that's still no excuse for making NATO look bad.
If that wasn't bad enough, Russia is leading Syrian peace talks too.
Russia, Iran and Turkey will hold the next round of talks on Syria's conflict on 29 and 28 November in the Kazakh capital Astana, Kazakhstan's foreign minister confirmed on Monday.
...Abdrakhmanov said representatives of Damascus and armed opposition groups would take part, but did not specify what level of officials from Russia, Iran and Turkey would attend.
The Astana process was launched after Russia's military intervention in Syria tipped the balance in the regime's favour. It has gradually eclipsed an earlier UN-sponsored negotiations framework known as the Geneva process.
The U.S. refused to attend these peace talks because Russia!
Germany and France did attend them.
Think of the terrible implications of Russia achieving peace in Syria without American involvement. The horrors!
To make matters worse, Russia is also seeking peace with Japan.
For decades, every sign Russia and Japan had made progress in talks on disputed territories and a post-World War II peace treaty turned out to be a false alarm. This time may be different: Both Russian President Vladimir Putin and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe need a deal more than their predecessors did.
Putin and Abe met in Singapore last week and agreed to speed up talks on a peace treaty their two countries negotiated after World War II but the Soviet Union refused to sign.
What evil peace will Russia inflict upon the world next?
It's gotten so bad that Russians are sneaking up behind us.
Now we need to "fight" Russia and China in Latin America.
The U.S. is ready to compete with growing Chinese and Russian influence in Latin America, Air Force Chief of Staff General David Goldfein has said.
...China has largely used direct financial investment—described by some observers as "checkbook diplomacy"—and trade policy, while Russia has relied on arms sales. While Trump pushes his nationalistic “America-first” politics, U.S. adversaries have been more proactive.
China, for example, has become the main export destination for five Latin American nations—Brazil, Chile, Cuba, Peru, and Uruguay, Foreign Policy noted. Meanwhile, Russia has sunk billions of dollars worth of weapons into the region, leaving many nations heavily reliant on Moscow’s technology and offering the Kremlin vital leverage.
How dare they sell stuff to Latin America! That obviously sounds like something our military must respond to.
Because that's what a rational foreign policy looks like.
Goldfein stressed the importance of the U.S. weapons industry in maintaining Washington’s reach in the region, warning the Latin American nations that choose to buy Chinese or Russian they risk damaging relations with the U.S.
And we all know what "damaging relations with the U.S." means.
After all, we're the good guys.