Open Thread - Friday, October 13, 2017

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The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.
~ Albert Einstein ~

I painted myself into a box, by alleging deep thought during my motorcycle adventure. Wink I enjoyed the sort of escape unplugging facilitates. I used the Internet to peruse maps and book rooms, and left the TV off. I had escaped, to Colorado, and was determined not to allow the Orwellian cacophony to foul my thoughts.

I enjoyed the solitude, and wondered whether the solo adventure was an expression of my being alone, or some innate nomadic trait. When Sue first passed, I experienced a strong nesting instinct and was reluctant to venture far from the nest. Now, I would rather not be "at home". It's not really home, without Sue. I need to start working on moving from this house.

Traveling, by motorcycle, presents challenges and the opportunity to face those challenges. Forging forward in the face of challenges and overcoming fears imparts a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. I can feel the benefits.

The solo time freed me to think about how to approach the coming years. Losing Sue has been my identity, and has prevailed over the past few months. I have grown to understand that Sue will always be here. She is not gone, she is part of me. During the trip, there was a phenomenon where whenever I would come across an awe inspiring natural vista, I would also have fond reminiscence of Sue.

I know, grief can not be a defining characteristic. One of the reasons I took the trip, was to get that "it's good to be alive feeling". A bit of self indulgence and devil may care behavior has a therapeutic quality. Things like a fast paced motorcycle riding, hanging out in roadhouses/taverns, sampling some cannabis, tavern dining, talking with regular people and ignoring the prescribed reality blue print all contribute to a sense of well being. Going fast is an expresso shot of endorphins.

I am quite determined to refuse to play along with the human herding. I refuse to walk around angry, disillusioned, isolated nor any of the other corrals the central scrutinizer attempts to herd me into.

So, I spent my evenings with C99 and talking to tavern mates. The people were quite extraordinary. I am sure the locales influenced the types of people, but by and large people were out living and rejoicing to be in the midst of natural wonder.

The last Colorado night, I went for a hike, and sparked a PR4. Then a visit to the cantina for black bean and bison tacos, a little beer and a little tequila. The young man next to me, was traveling, living out of a SUV and looking for an electrician job, that treated him fairly. He figured he had another month before he would run out of money and have to go back to Richmond, VA. We talked for an hour or so, and I picked up his tab.

Basically, I have concluded that I can not participate in pearl clutching, nor drama. I am not going to dwell on possible negative outcomes and shall eschew the life suck of corporate media. The mission is to enjoy the remaining time, whatever that means. Go places, meet people, do things and feel alive!

Along that line of thinking, I am out, on the motorcycle, to meet the Pittsburgh boys, for a ride around West Virginia. I'll check in later.

Have a great weekend! The thread is OPEN.

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mimi's picture

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Raggedy Ann's picture

Distilling ones thoughts is such a healing process. We can arrive at truth. When my husband died, it had been six months or so and a woman at work was in my office and said I seemed to be getting over his death pretty fast. I looked at her and said, well, I may live 50 more years and I thought about how I want to live those years, happy or sad and I've chosen happy. Granted I was only 35, at the time, but age doesn't matter - choose how you will live, because you ARE still alive and must choose. You are figuring that out, Tim.

I moved after three years. I'm back in the house, though. Raggedy Andy came along a few years later and we remodeled the house and made our own. Long story how that came about, but irrelevant here.

Enjoy your time with your buds.

Have a beautiful day and weekends, folks! * pleasantry*

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"The “jumpers” reminded us that one day we will all face only one choice and that is how we will die, not how we will live." Chris Hedges on 9/11

Lookout's picture

and create our own life. I'm glad you are living your life as you see fit. The trips sound great to me (although I'm no fan of riding motorcycles...each to their own you know). Travel helps develop perspective, and time helps heal wounds.

Sounds like you are celebrating both Sue's and your own life. That is a good thing. Wishing you the best in your journey!

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

orlbucfan's picture

Enjoy the run and company!! Stay safe, too.

Tom Petty dropped dead of heart failure last week. He was 66. Ouch!! I'm going to be 65 next weekend, so that one makes me pause for a few seconds. For a cracker from Gainesville, FL, he did pretty well. Smile I recall being in college back in the early 1970s, and hearing about him through the central FL tunes grapevine. I always liked this one and this video.

Hey, Gainesville guy, salute and RIP! Rec'd!!

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Inner and Outer Space: the Final Frontiers.

riverlover's picture

Caregiving was hard, especially when he became frustrated then angry. Less than two weeks before his death, still at home, he demanded a divorce. I blew it off as a crazy lash out. Liver failure causes ammonia blood levels to rise. But it still hurt me, slightly.

7+ years out now. I am having a mild panic attack. Forgive me. What I think is that we do return, altered, sometimes not in positive ways. Person and situations-dependent.

I hope you are being a good example to your offspring. Mine were both young adults then. He did manage to rehabilitate his relationship with his daughter which had been rocky. Offspring now communicate behind my back. Good, more sibling ties. Consider the next generation(s).

I hope motorcycle rides allow some time for leaf-peeping. Stay safe, warm and dry.

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

enhydra lutris's picture

brain police, and "they" are freaking everywhere so, fuck em.

There are certain great truths, principal among them is that nobody gets out of here alive.

A reminder --

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. -- Groucho

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --