My Name is Mike, and I Have an Anger Problem.

I've been hearing that from everyone, both here and in real life. And....maybe people are right. It's not the first time I've heard it, either, but this time I had to hear it from my wife, who's been too scared to say anything (her mom almost called my mom to come and get me). You know you've hit bottom when something like that happens.

I don't know how, when, where or even why it started, but I sure do wish it would stop. I wish I knew what sets me off (other than political crap, obviously, but that can piss off everyone). I've been like this since I was a kid. Even the smallest things could trigger white hot rage.

I've always found it difficult to find joy in anything and a lot of times I'm pretty solitary. I'm sure my demeanor doesn't help and probably drives people away.

I don't know what to do or where to go but I gotta do something.

up
26 users have voted.

Comments

Lookout's picture

...or riding my bike. Especially if you have a park or natural area somewhere in your neighborhood. It isn't a cure, but a calming release.

Being in nature, or even viewing scenes of nature, reduces anger, fear, and stress and increases pleasant feelings. Exposure to nature not only makes you feel better emotionally, it contributes to your physical wellbeing, reducing blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, and the production of stress hormones.

https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/enhance-your-wellbeing/environment/...

Wishing you some relief. All the best!

up
18 users have voted.

“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

gulfgal98's picture

@Lookout I walk at least 4 or more miles nearly every day and it is very therapeutic for me. It helps that I have found a walking partner to share that time with too.

up
14 users have voted.

"I don't want to run the empire, I want to bring it down!" ~Dr. Cornel West "...isn't the problem here that the government takes on, arbitrarily and without justification, an adversarial attitude towards its citizenry?" ~CantStoptheMacedonianSignal

gulfgal98's picture

Each of us has issues and some of us have ones that are more serious than others. I wish I knew what to tell you about how to deal with your anger.

Based upon myself and others that I have known, sometimes looking outside yourself can help. It may not work for you, but often people who are frustrated and angry can find a sense of calmness by volunteering to help others (human or otherwise - like animals at a shelter) who are in worse circumstances. It does not completely solve the problem, but it can help you to mitigate it enough that maybe you will be able to better manage it.

Regardless of the road you take, I hope you can find the answer because you are a very intelligent person who seems to have been hindered by your issues, particularly those of anger. I am rooting for you to find that answer. And BTW, my name is Nancy.

up
20 users have voted.

"I don't want to run the empire, I want to bring it down!" ~Dr. Cornel West "...isn't the problem here that the government takes on, arbitrarily and without justification, an adversarial attitude towards its citizenry?" ~CantStoptheMacedonianSignal

ggersh's picture

I used to bike more until we got our
Pit and now it's walk, walk, walk, our
Pit takes me for walks, but yep it works.

Cheers and good luck Garry

up
14 users have voted.

“We now live in a nation where doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the press destroys information, religion destroys morals, and our banks destroy the economy”
Chris Hedges

detroitmechworks's picture

but structured exercise has helped me and my son immeasurably. (He used to have severe anger issues.)

If you can find a Kodokan Judo Dojo in your area, it's extremely cheap compared to most gyms, and the structure helps keep you focused. (I pay 60 a month, and 70 a year for my insurance. Gi was cheap too.) In addition, I've met some great people, and I leave the place soaked in sweat every day because I put everything I can into the workout. Slapping the mat is amazing for catharsis.

I can't provide a magic bullet that will solve it, but I will say that trying various ideas out is far preferable to just seething. I'm sorry Florida sucks on its pot laws, as well, because that is a great help if you can find the right blend.

up
14 users have voted.

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

The Aspie Corner's picture

@detroitmechworks in high school, I'd give anything to get back into something like that but my drop foot makes stuff like that difficult. As for pot laws here, I could have sworn medicinal was legalized not too long ago but our 'leaders' have been slow as molasses implementing it.

up
15 users have voted.
snoopydawg's picture

@The Aspie Corner

I had to stop walking for 6 months and I could barely lift my leg. It took about 3-4 months to build the strength back up in, but it's still weaker than my other one. I've started bringing my walking cane with me recently because the leg will just become weak and it stops me from falling. I hated having to do this, but needs must.

Can you start doing exercises at home to build up the strength? Or have you had the problem for too long? I suggest trying this so that you can get out of the house and into nature. Try going outside yourself by focusing on sights, smells and sounds.

I have faith that you can find something that will help you manage your anger. Good luck.

up
12 users have voted.

Governments exist preeminently to maximize the profits, resources and the power of the wealthy

The Aspie Corner's picture

@snoopydawg I had a heel cord operation when I was four but it didn't go far enough. I can still move the leg but I trip over the foot a lot, even with a brace. I also wear a raised shoe on that foot at about 3/4 of an inch to take the pressure off so my back doesn't hurt as much. It's still pretty painful all the same.

up
14 users have voted.
thanatokephaloides's picture

@The Aspie Corner

As someone who practiced wrestling and Tae Kwon Do in high school, I'd give anything to get back into something like that but my drop foot makes stuff like that difficult.

I know of this kind of trouble. I'm essentially bedridden because of osteoarthritis of both knees.

I hear all the recommendations for walking and other outdoor pursuits, and I want to cry. When I could, I did and it helped immensely keeping myself together. Now I can't and it really sucks. Sad

I hear the rest of what you have to say, too. Frustration levels akin to ours are good for nobody's mental well-being.

up
15 users have voted.

"I say enough! If Israel wants to be the only superpower in the Middle East then they can put their own asses on the line and do it themselves. I want to continue to eat."
-- snoopydawg

TheOtherMaven's picture

is recognizing that you have a problem. Congratulations on taking that first step. As to how to deal with it, you'll have to find what works for you. (Gardening has been recommended by writers from Voltaire to Kipling - guess it worked for them.)

up
16 users have voted.

There is no justice. There can be no peace.

doctor recently, and she put me on a mood stabilizer. I haven't been on it long enough to know how it is affecting me. I've been having crazy mood swings for a while. Talk to a medical professional ASAP.

up
12 users have voted.

we are your friends here. I too felt the white hot rage in my younger days and still do from time to time.

This may sound oversimplified and you've probably heard it before but what helped me was allowing myself to let go of things that are not in my control. I had to learn to recognize the thoughts that triggered the rage and switch them off abruptly. That sounds really hokey but it is what helped me. The trick is to stop dwelling on the negative.

Case in point: whenever Trump does something or says something dumb-ass stupid, I just mind travel to the the alternative land of Hillary as President. Ommmmmmm. I am centered.

Another case in point: this afternoon I took a break from canning and went out to my garden and caught that little SOB ground squirrel that's been eating my beans. Instead of going all Caddy Shack Varmint Cong on his ass I quietly and calmly ushered him over to the neighbors garden. Ommmmmmm. I am centered.

See what I did there? Humor helps.

up
26 users have voted.
The Aspie Corner's picture

@JtC

up
10 users have voted.
thanatokephaloides's picture

@JtC

Another case in point: this afternoon I took a break from canning and went out to my garden and caught that little SOB ground squirrel that's been eating my beans. Instead of going all Caddy Shack Varmint Cong on his ass I quietly and calmly ushered him over to the neighbors garden. Ommmmmmm. I am centered.

I must confess that a good pot of Brunswick Stew (with beans) and a nice squirrel fur ruff for my lady's winter coat would prove rather tempting at that point.... Wink

But then, that's what God created cats for.....

up
10 users have voted.

"I say enough! If Israel wants to be the only superpower in the Middle East then they can put their own asses on the line and do it themselves. I want to continue to eat."
-- snoopydawg

dkmich's picture

You are dealing with some really shitty circumstances, and it is easy to understand how depressed and angry it might make you. Talk to a professional and definitely start smoking pot. If you are consuming alcohol, STOP. Learning how to manage it in your head and pot is what I recommend.

This is hokey, but true. When we think something that doesn't work to our benefit, we need to change how we think about it. I wish you the best.

Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny. — Chinese proverb, author unknown

up
18 users have voted.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

*donate to c99 *like us on Facebook *follow us on Twitter

The Aspie Corner's picture

@dkmich I think I've only had alcohol maybe 3 or 4 times in my entire life. All after the age of 21, of course. Never cared for the taste and it never did anything for me. I actually did try smoking weed once after high school and could barely inhale before I was coughing my lungs out..not really, but I certainly was coughing pretty hard.

up
10 users have voted.
dkmich's picture

@The Aspie Corner

If you are in a medical pot state, buy edibles. Edibles are more potent. Make sure you take small doses and build up to what makes you happy. If you have to buy it illegally and smoke it, just take little hits until you get used to it. It will still get you high. Pot or tobacco, you have to learn to inhale. Unless you have something bronchial going on, you will eventually build up a tolerance that will allow you to take bigger and deeper tokes. Pretty soon, you'll be a genuine pothead! Biggrin

I can't recommend pot enough. Pot mellows you out, and it offers an opportunity to become more introspective. It definitely helps you not mind the petty bull shit of life that can be so stressful and really piss one off. I do want to make one caution. Sometimes, not often, you can experience anxiety and paranoia from smoking that gets escalated by your concern over it, a circle if you will. If it happens, doesn't always, don't let it get to you. It is not a big deal. As soon as you realize what is going on and relax, it will go away. Mind over matter. Almost everything is mind over matter. You are the master of what you think. Pot and a professional to talk to are a winning combination.

If you can control your beast, you will make your wife a very happy lady. Who knows, maybe you'll even interview differently. Please know. I am not blaming you. In the job market, discrimination against the handicapped is very real. Again, best of luck.

up
12 users have voted.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

*donate to c99 *like us on Facebook *follow us on Twitter

Lookout's picture

@dkmich

One ounce of pot to two cups of your favorite oil (olive, coconut, avocado...)
Place in a small crockpot on low overnight (at least 6 hours).
Strain thru a paper coffee filter (discard the oily weed after draining)
Use the oil in your favorite (brownie?) recipe
(mine uses 1/4 cup and makes 36-48 small brownies).
Eat one for mellow, two for high.

up
9 users have voted.

“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

@Lookout Throw the oily weed out?!? Nay,nay,nay! Also, use Butter instead of oil, add two to three cups of Water to the mix, on low for 24-36 hours, occasionally stirring and adding more water.as needed to Keep From Burning Off the THC.
While still hot, CAREFULLY strain through cheese clothe into an appropriate size baking pan and place in fridge overnight to cool.
When it's stratified, poke drain holes in Opposite corners and drain bottom liquid into a container for use in the Garden(withe the buttery weed from the cheese clothe).
Flip pan over onto clean p-towels, gently skim off any detritus on the(now) top of the butter.
Place butter in airtight dish in fridge for future use and ENJOY CAREFULLY until you determine how much at a time works for you-Then just enjoy!
Discard-hrmmph! Heathan

up
4 users have voted.

Ya got to be a Spirit, cain't be no Ghost. . .

Lookout's picture

@Tall Bald and Ugly

...and it ain't worth rolling. That's this heathen's approach anyway.

Butter is nice but more trouble IMO.

up
3 users have voted.

“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

@Lookout @Lookout have to watch the temperature of the oil, THC burns off anywhere from 365(or even lower) to a high of 385 or so. That's why vaping became big, you could heat the weed to 365, get the thc, and Not combust the weed itself. THC bonds with fat(obviously) and animal fat is best(again, obviously). Sure, more hassle but better results imo. Another thing to watch for is that the body processes thc through the liver, converts it to an enhanced level while doing so and Will Fuck You UP! Hence the cop and his wife eating too many brownies too soon and dialing 911 thinking they're dying.
Rookies.
Been doing this awhile, I've tried it most(reasonable) ways. Not sure if I'm quite ready for the suppository, yet. Might let that go 'till I'm Older. The wife(doesn't imbibe) is interested in the sensual oils department, might have to give that a shot(Big Grin)!

Edit to add;'the water in the initial mix is to keep the temp @/below 300'f and Avoid vaporizing the THC
'buttery weed from cheesecloth'?

up
3 users have voted.

Ya got to be a Spirit, cain't be no Ghost. . .

dkmich's picture

@Lookout

A few years back, I got really sick with something bronchial and ended up in the hospital for two days. When I got home and tried to smoke a joint, I couldn't inhale it. Hack, hack, hack. So I quit. I often miss the mellow, but I don't miss the munchies. Hell, I miss smoking cigarettes too. When I smell smoke from a cigarette, I have such a fond longing. I've learned though that the reality is not like the memory of smoking so I can resist it too.

Your recipe for how to make homemade brownies is tempting for both the high and the chocolate. Smile

up
5 users have voted.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

*donate to c99 *like us on Facebook *follow us on Twitter

mimi's picture

@Lookout @Lookout
Do these cookies help against or cause some of the pain, to the one, who tries to eliviate him/herself and get rid of that pain ?

up
1 user has voted.
Lily O Lady's picture

level-headed, but sometimes he would just lose it. He usually coped by going off by himself, but he could alienate friends. Public school wouldn’t allow him the space to isolate himself when he was upset. We ended up homeschooling.

As he grew older he had several bad experiences which caused him to adopt a defensive posture. He is plagued by feelings of self-loathing. For a long time various psychiatrists tried chemical solutions, but he just felt more and more desperate. He often unloaded on me, especially in the car returning home from a group session (like you he doesn’t drive).

Drugs weren’t really the answer for him. Antipsychotics made him psychotic and physically twitchy. Currently he’s only on one antidepressent. He has had better luck with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

I have followed your essays since GOS where you had a different user name. I have always hoped for the best for you.

up
22 users have voted.

"The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?" ~Orwell, "1984"

The Aspie Corner's picture

@Lily O Lady

As he grew older he had several bad experiences which caused him to adopt a defensive posture. He is plagued by feelings of self-loathing. For a long time various psychiatrists tried chemical solutions, but he just felt more and more desperate. He often unloaded on me, especially in the car returning home from a group session (like you he doesn’t drive).

Drugs weren’t really the answer for him. Antipsychotics made him psychotic and physically twitchy. Currently he’s only on one antidepressent. He has had better luck with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

I've been on a few meds myself. They help for a little while but after that it's like taking Reese's Pieces. As for twitches, I tend to either hit the ground with my right foot or my right leg tends to shake at times. I'm not sure if the current medication I'm on makes this worse.

up
16 users have voted.
janis b's picture

@The Aspie Corner

https://psychcentral.com/lib/an-overview-of-dialectical-behavior-therapy/

up
13 users have voted.
Pluto's Republic's picture

@janis b

I like the way it is organized. Learning those skills sound very doable. I wouldn't mind adding a few of those techniques to my skillsets.

Have you heard of EMDR? It's rapid therapy that works from the assumption that certain negative life experiences have resulted in a personality distortion because the experience was never processed and filed away and it remains on the desktop in the mind, cluttering it up. This brings great discomfort to the individual. PTSD is an example of a fresh injury of that type, but it could come from something more subtle that remains unresolved from childhood. EMDR reprograms the brain at the very beginning of therapy, using the eyes and ears as input devices, stimulating them with light and eye movement patterns, as well as sound signaling to the ears separately. It could be thought of as a machine language that helps the subject reprogram his neural networks. The triggering impulse is suspended and the subject can remove it from his mind's desktop and file it away with a more useful set of associations. Often this can be done in a single session. It works very well for quickly neutralizing phobias, for example, and is recognized by the armed forces as effective in resolving PTSD.

Work still needs to be done to reintegrate the subject socially, of course. The skills gained in DBT would be very helpful with that, it seems to me.

http://www.emdr.com/frequent-questions/

up
11 users have voted.
mimi's picture

@Pluto's Republic
stricken folks, how to they reconcile this with the fact that the Armed Forces usually had forced the traumatizing experiences that caused the PTSD to begin with on their soldiers?

I remember somewhere to have read that there are therapy groups in Vancouver, Canada, who specialize in de-programming programmed soldiers, who were programmed in a way that they accept to kill innocent people in wars they had been gotten into without wanting.

So, isn' the de-programming the same as the programming in the end?

up
6 users have voted.
janis b's picture

@mimi

"So, isn' the de-programming the same as the programming in the end?"

To me it speaks of the tragedy of initial heartless programming, and the unfortunate effort involved in overcoming it.

up
4 users have voted.
QMS's picture

@mimi When the programming is done from without to within. Destructive tendencies coming from an outside source affect our behavior in a slightly less insidious way than when they are regenerated (in reaction) from inside rationale.

up
5 users have voted.

@Pluto's Republic but I spent tens of thousands of dollars of my own cash money on stupid procedures which ignore the reality built in to our system's economy. All their eye movements and talk talk talk is to make you feel good about burning the world, just like "normal" consumer capitalist people do every day. They are making a profit from books and appointments, another growth industry built around the dysfunctional systems in crisis. I wouldn't recommend either, unless you have someone else to pay for it. Don't waste your own money.

two cents
good luck

up
6 users have voted.
janis b's picture

@Pluto's Republic

I think there is much possibility in learning skills that offer construction of new pathways, considering how plastic the mind is. I am not familiar with EMDR, and only know about DBT through discussion with my former husband who has practiced psychotherapy professionally for decades. I do believe that dedication and time are essential to one's success under the guidance of a 'talented' therapist.

up
4 users have voted.
Pluto's Republic's picture

@janis b

I do believe that dedication and time are essential to one's success under the guidance of a 'talented' therapist.

And, yet, the shattering can come in an instant.... sigh.

up
5 users have voted.
janis b's picture

@Pluto's Republic

please see my response to mimi below. I also think the shattering can be repaired with the glue that binds people.

up
2 users have voted.
Citizen Of Earth's picture

@janis b
and it looks like some of that (ie Mindfulness, etc) can be developed and practiced without actually formally getting into DBT sessions. I'm going to dig into that a bit. Thanks for posting.

up
4 users have voted.

Donnie The #ShitHole Douchebag. Fake Friend to the Working Class. Real Asshole.

janis b's picture

@Citizen Of Earth

There's lots of stuff online. I would start with Jon-Kabot-Zinn.

up
2 users have voted.
janis b's picture

I think JtC’s advice is one to aspire to.

“I had to learn to recognize the thoughts that triggered the rage and switch them off abruptly.”

I think that’s the secret - to practice stopping yourself in that first moment of recognition before reacting, so you can find a different way of responding. Like learning anything else, it takes repeated practice so that you can experience the reward of responding with more consideration.

Anger is often a response to feelings of hurt or pain, a feeling of being unheard or not understood. It’s helpful to know that your feelings are often valid, but with repeated practice in stopping the triggered response you will make yourself more understood and will succeed in time.

up
18 users have voted.
mimi's picture

@janis b

Anger is often a response to feelings of hurt or pain, a feeling of being unheard or not understood. It’s helpful to know that your feelings are often valid, but with repeated practice in stopping the triggered response you will make yourself more understood and will succeed in time.

How do you help someone to stop the triggered response and help someone to recognize what exactly triggered the response?

up
3 users have voted.
janis b's picture

@mimi

If you are referring to helping someone you love on a personal level with those issues, then I think a good place to start (once their explosion settles down), is to calmly and sincerely say how it made you feel and what you would wish for the both of you. Attacking back will only escalate the situation, and trying to reason with the person in that moment of more irrational behaviour won’t work either. One person in the exchange has to stay centered in a place of love or care for the other. Then there is the possibility for mutual understanding and expression of support. What worked best for me was to remind myself when those feelings started to bubble, of the true love that we shared. Why would we want to compromise something so valuable. From there comes the potential for growth in relationship and within oneself.

up
3 users have voted.
thanatokephaloides's picture

.... my thoughts and prayers are with you. Apologies for not mentioning that earlier.

A question: you mentioned you had a history of involvement with Taekwondo. Did that include any Meditation training? I'm more familiar with the workings of Kung-Fu, Karate, and the Judo family of martial arts than I am with those of Taekwondo. Meditation is integral to Kung-fu and Karate, and is also deeply ingrained in Judo culture as well.

Meditation often helps with rage and depression issues. It costs no money and is certainly worth the try.

(JtC's "Ommmmm" reminded me to mention this to you.)

up
14 users have voted.

"I say enough! If Israel wants to be the only superpower in the Middle East then they can put their own asses on the line and do it themselves. I want to continue to eat."
-- snoopydawg

Hawkfish's picture

I’ve had TKD instructors who did it and those who didn’t. But really you just need to find someone who can get you started. It’s not difficult but you need to make it daily.

Exercise is good too and if you can’t do anything mobile because of your foot, maybe try something like weight lifting?

As a number here have said, first step is realizing you have a problem. After that, remember that you have people who love you and we here are rooting for you.

Good luck, and peace be with you.

up
14 users have voted.

We may find that we’re all alone
In the dream of the proud.
- Pink Floyd, On the Turning Away

mhagle's picture

I am sorry for your struggles. Sounds like you have gotten great advice from folks here. It also sounds like you have family members who love you too.

My kids (17 and 19) came to me the other day and said, "we love you Mom and want you to be happier. Please do more things for yourself." Didn't realize I was coming across that way. So I think I need to take some of the advice given here as well. Namely, the part about turning off triggering thoughts.

Most of the conversations here contain triggering thoughts. The stuff we discuss is upsetting!

I can't go walking either anymore because I have arthritis in my feet. When I could do it and would walk in nature after work every day, I would just feel a burden being lifted. Now I do weight lifting and gardening, and those things help but are not enough.

I know I personally need to pay more attention to thoughts that make me sad, learn to turn away from them, and rather appreciate cool stuff that is going on right now around me.

It ain't easy.

My well wishes and good thoughts are with you my friend.

up
14 users have voted.

Marilyn

Let's save the planet for our kids. Tree Hugger to the end.

alone.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FMYz5SteBBY

Edit; sorry for the ad in the vid.

up
5 users have voted.

Ya got to be a Spirit, cain't be no Ghost. . .

There has been a lot of good advice given here.

I was "treated" for severe depression, meaning they wrote a scrip for pills every 6 months until the side effects made some other pill the "treatment" of choice, for 18 years. Until the side effects put me in the hospital. This was preceded by years of inwardly directed, ultimately outward directed anger and eventually rage, as you said, like someone flipped a switch. It just kept spiraling downward, each cycle worst than the last.

One thing I believe is that the emotions can alter the chemistry of the brain, that the rage reinforces itself. I would be wary of chemicals to control this. Try them with some time limit. And if they work, cross check with the people who care about you. For me I ended up not feeling much of anything, and being unable to make decisions. Outwardly it looked great, inwardly it was mush. Just don't let take the stuff blindly like I did.

I have been trying to learn to meditate. I was successful maybe once, but I believe it would be very beneficial to me, to everyone.

I understand a little about the physical part. I know someone whose leg was almost an inch shorter than the other. Lifts helped but caused back problems, and ultimately a hip replacement at age 42. I see in the news occasionally about university students who aspire to design braces and aids for physical problems. With 3d printing they can do tryouts for their designs. Maybe there is a college/university with that kind of program willing to tackle a real life problem, Maybe some state of the art PT treatments. Drop foot sounds simple but it has so many variables it's a moving target.

Everyone has to become their own expert on what ails them. We're the test pilots for our own lives. Medicine gives you a 15 minute window to present and solve your problem. As a recent study found a doctor gives you 11 seconds to speak before he interrupts you, on average. We need to be able to get more than 11 seconds, and that's to be able to challenge them when what they say isn't gonna work for you. We get cookie cutter solutions to eveything.

Finally you have to let up on yourself. Sometimes you screw up, sometimes you get screwed. Get to that place where you can tell the difference.

up
13 users have voted.

@Snode P.S. Enjoy the small successes when they happen. They may look like small potatoes but you earned them.

up
12 users have voted.
QMS's picture

@Snode One of the powerful resources of the internet is to be able to search, prescribe and understand the health (both mental and physical) of our own conditions. So many times a doc will tell me it's this ailment, then script out a solution, without waiting to hear the full story of the problem. The doc's are expected to make a diagnosis in 15 or 30 minutes, while typing in the info at the same time. It's like wanting to cook a dish. When you search for the intended ingredients, you will find a recipe to follow. Many sights help with this. If you are looking for a cure or treatment, there are plenty of avenues to pursue. Not saying the doc's don't help, but specific actions to treat a list of sypmtons requires educating what the indications suggest. We basically know what is missing inside, only need that fine thread to connect the clots.

up
8 users have voted.
janis b's picture

@QMS

"We basically know what is missing inside, only need that fine thread to connect the clots."

Finding that thread is the subtle work we all have the capacity for, when we make the space to quietly listen. Too often we sabotage ourselves by screaming into the silence.

up
7 users have voted.
mimi's picture

@janis b
a lot by some folks in my family and even with long talks and listening it ends up to be difficult to help someone to not fall in the trap of sabotage oneself again.

up
4 users have voted.
Citizen Of Earth's picture

@QMS
My doc mis-diagnosed my Lyme disease as osteoarthritis. I went into the appointment having done my internet research. I suggest the possibility of Lyme and he said given the symptoms he was almost positive it wasn't Lyme. I had to insist that he include a lab test for Lyme. And thank gawd I did.

He also misdiagnosed another major ailment. And through internet research, I figured out the real problem on my own and fixed it myself.

So I'm in strong agreement with you QMS. Docs are rushed to make a diagnosis and DO get it wrong sometimes. So be your own best advocate.

up
7 users have voted.

Donnie The #ShitHole Douchebag. Fake Friend to the Working Class. Real Asshole.

QMS's picture

@Citizen Of Earth The doc's are generally not well versed in Lyme and seem to resist testing for the associated co-infections. Resistance also from insurance companies to cover treatments. Very frustrating indeed. Without internet research, I would not have known I had it.

up
4 users have voted.
Citizen Of Earth's picture

@QMS
The cure for Lyme is typically a 30 day treatment of Doxy pills ($30 worth).

So if misdiagnosed, the InsCo will be paying for all sorts of expensive treatments to address symptoms rather than the cause. Complete idiots. Not to mention the pain and suffering of the poor patient. Ugh.

up
4 users have voted.

Donnie The #ShitHole Douchebag. Fake Friend to the Working Class. Real Asshole.

mhagle's picture

@Citizen Of Earth @QMS

She is my dear friend too. After my Lyme scare this spring (the test came back negative, but the doc prescribed a Lyme antibiotic and I feel fine now, so maybe I will never know) . . . and you guys gave me all of that good advice, I researched it extensively on the Internet.

I am convinced she is in a chronic Lyme stage with memory loss and mood swings. She went to a neurologist to be tested for Alzheimer's. The doc told her she did not have Alzheimer's but gave her Alzheimer's drugs anyway. She had a severe allergic reaction and broke out with itchy red splotches all over. She went to her primary care physician with the stack of drugs she was taking, who in turn was horrified and took her off them. My neighbor requested a Lyme test, but the primary care physician would not do it. She went back to the original neurologist and requested a Lyme test. This doc said . . . "no, not yet. Let's try this other drug first."

Uhh . . . sounds like someone get's kickbacks from a drug company?

I have convinced her (I think - her daughter is advocating it too) to just go to a convenient care place and request a Lyme test. That's where I got mine and there was no hassle.

up
5 users have voted.

Marilyn

Let's save the planet for our kids. Tree Hugger to the end.

Citizen Of Earth's picture

@mhagle
you problem was resolved. Great news.

Yes it is dumbfounding that your friends docs would not allow a Lyme test. What would it hurt to get a test done? Answer, it hurts nothing.
It's almost like the US Health system is set up so that doctors profit by keeping patients sick. And get paid commissions to push unnecessary drugs. Oh wait. That is exactly how the US Health system is structured.

up
5 users have voted.

Donnie The #ShitHole Douchebag. Fake Friend to the Working Class. Real Asshole.

dystopian's picture

I had some anger issues in my youth, multiple therapies were critical for me to understand it at a level where it did not control me any longer. Some legal and expensive professional help, some less so but just as life-changing, not to mention great fun! You do not want to hurt those that love you, or that you love, so it is important, and knowing where it comes from (I was beat a LOT) is critical to controlling it. You get to decide how to be. Be well, be good, be strong, be happy.

To add about nature... yes get out in it if you can at all, anyway whatsoever. Otherwise bring it to you. The single best way to attract it is with water. Put a bird bath up where you can see it out a window you are at most. Best if with a drip, use a hose to make a drip real slow, barely, so drops go, tink, tink, tink. This will bring in stuff from a mile away. As more and more learns of it, soon you will be amazed at all that uses it. Have it near shrubs or cover, and not where cats can get at it.

up
6 users have voted.

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
both - Albert Einstein

Citizen Of Earth's picture

I agree with the comments that walking daily helps. I have high blood pressure and have been monitoring it to see what helps. I noticed after a walk that it drops to normal levels -- always. Like in the 110-120/80 range.

I'll also say that I try to avoid getting into pissing matches with trolls on blogs because that always raises my BP. It is tough though because there are always trolls just itching to get into a fight. Sometimes even here on C99. Smile If I catch myself, I push away and go play my guitar which I find relaxing.

Best of luck Aspie. I hope you find the path that works.

up
7 users have voted.

Donnie The #ShitHole Douchebag. Fake Friend to the Working Class. Real Asshole.

Pluto's Republic's picture

@Citizen Of Earth

...but your sigline sounds like you are about to explode. I hope it's not your mantra. I didn't realize that Presidents were so connected to people's psyche, but the gestalt is definitely there. I think we all feel the toxins. The lucky ones can let them go. Be well.

up
1 user has voted.