International Politics Finals - Liberalism Vs. Capitalism

Linda: Good Morning, we're looking at Great Game, with this the Politics final between the Liberals and the Capitalists.

Tom: It wasn't even sure if this match would come off today, as there seems to be a huge amount of fans of the Fascist and Socialist teams boycotting the match.

Linda: Yes it was a shame that the actions of those fans caused the teams themselves to be be barred completely from the competition. Although what a win for the Capitalists, eh Tom?

Tom: That's Right, Linda. With the Fascists officially banned from competition, many of their best players got the opportunity to really shake up the league. The Capitalists in particular have benefited greatly from the addition of Propaganda and their returning free agent Corporation.

Linda: Which is sure to hurt Liberalism badly in the coming match-up, especially considering that they recently have been seen in collaboration with members of the Communist team. Of course, the Liberals also claim to have proof that the Capitalists have been in collaboration with the Communist team, but as all members of the Communist team have been officially banned from competition, it's hard to see why this is a problem.

Tom: But here we go, and out come the Capitalists! (Theme Music Plays)

Linda: The Capitalists look to be coming out strong with their classic 4-2-3-1 aggression. Looks like Corporation will be taking center, as they've had good luck in the past with his deniability.

Tom: AAAAAND here's the Liberals! (Theme Music Plays)

Linda: And it looks like the Liberals are going to be coming out in their usual 4-5-1 formation. Looks like Special Interests and Identity Politics will be upfront, with the Platform and Economy strictly on defense.

Tom: A bit surprising to see Not Capitalist up front. He had his debut during the last season and underperformed horribly.

Linda: Well, Not Capitalist's fans are one of the largest ticket sales so, it's not surprising that he would be given another chance to play. Remember, this sport is as much more about giving opportunities than it is about perfection.

Tom: Right you are Linda.

Linda: And there's the start... and the Capitalists have called for a time out.

Tom: But they're still playing.

Linda: Well, according to a rule change that was recently funded by a completely non-partisan group which was set up by the Capitalist and Liberal teams, all teams can continue to play while a Time Out is in effect.

Tom: The Liberals are just sitting there though...

Linda: Well, it's very rude to play during a time out. What's important here is that people remember how Not Capitalist was on the Liberals team.

Tom: Ok, so now that brings the score to 20 to One. Oh, Wait, is that Liberal Hero coming to the rescue here...

Linda: Yes, apparently the Refs have called Time In, and Liberal Hero is faking left with the ball... he moves right. Over to Economic Justice... Economic Justice back to Liberal Hero... Oh my GOD! THE CAPITALIST GOALIE HAS TRIPPED. I Think that Mainstream Media just broke his arm.

Tom: Oh, that might be a season ending injury... And Liberal Hero... Has just gone to the stands to sign autographs.

Linda: THE BALL'S JUST SITTING THERE! What the HELL are you DOING, Liberal Hero? Oh... and... Religious Right.. just... he just... he just walked away with the ball. Oh my god... this is a fucking disaster.

Tom: Woah... Sorry about that folks, Linda's a big Liberal fan.

Linda: HE COULD HAVE SCORED A GOAL! HE WAS RIGHT FUCKING THERE! NO, no, you don't go sign fucking autographs in the middle of a game. What the Fuck, Tom?

Tom: Look, that's a lot of pressure, Linda?

Linda: And they just called time out! He's still signing autographs. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, OH MY GOD. DO you SEE THIS SHIT? Come On, Tom, you can't tell me this is normal.

Tom: Linda, look if you can't handle the pressure at this level, maybe you should stick to the High School League.

(A long Pause)

Linda: (Quietly)Fuck you Tom... (Chipper) You know, what's really important, is that we support our team, no matter how hard things get. You have to buy tickets, you have to go to the matches, and you have to come out, otherwise the Liberals can't win. And we do that, by remembering that on our team, we have "Not Capitalist".

Tom: But the important thing is the game. If it wasn't for the game, none of us would have a job. And that goes for all of you watching as well. Love the Game, because it's the only one in town.

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Comments

detroitmechworks's picture

Sketch in a comedy show.

Of course, I'm well aware it makes a very anti-establishment point.

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I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

divineorder's picture

Good one, thanks.

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A truth of the nuclear age/climate change: we can no longer have endless war and survive on this planet. Oh sh*t.

detroitmechworks's picture

@divineorder And I totally stole the idea from Monty Python's International Philosophy.

Originally I started writing it as Socialism vs Capitalism, then remembered we don't have that matchup.

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8 users have voted.

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

@detroitmechworks I see Jane Curtain and Dan Ackroyd in the role of Linda and Tom.

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detroitmechworks's picture

@Snode in my head as I wrote "Linda". Tom was Michael Palin.

I admit I usually picture the original SNL cast in my skits. With the addition of Michael Palin. (Oh come on, you can't tell me that one incredibly NICE person on SNL wouldn't have made for some hilarious comedy.)

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mimi's picture

what's the whole thing about?
Liberalism is capitalism, or at least it allows capitalism to flourish. Oh snark? What's the snark good for, if only the enlightened insider club of the 1 percent from the caucus99percent understand it?

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detroitmechworks's picture

@mimi because I brought Up something I shouldn't have.

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mimi's picture

that it is a sketch. I am sorry. I am an idiot.

I simply have difficulties to understand what you write very often. That's not your fault, it's mine. I am not here to cause troubles or bad blood and so I apologize.

Yes, I admit that I got so frustrated not understanding you, that I did what I did and then deleted it, because it was born out of frustration and that was wrong and doesn't help anybody.

There is another personal reason why I get irritated. You are a Veteran, have written about your own PTSD or about PTSD in general. You seem to have had some sort of higher rank in the military. You seem to have gotten help with your own traumata and PTSD. My Veteran son didn't get anything and I hate the United States for what they made out of him. I am deeply, deeply angered.

For some reason I apparently expected that your essays would help me coping with the mental health problems of my "little Veteran". But they didn't. Probably because I didn't understand what you were writing.

I am actually really sorry how this played out. Let's hope we both get over it. Let's forget it and make peace. Please.

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detroitmechworks's picture

@mimi I wasn't going to say anything at all, until you commented to me directly, but thank you for explaining your reasoning.

Hatchet buried, but of course, nobody forgets where they buried it. Smile

However, I also appreciate your directness and candor. I am lucky to have gotten help, and I sometimes feel that were it not for a fortunate series of loopholes I would be in the same state as your son.

My essays are primarily how I cope. I enjoy history, and my Cascadian National University series is my playing "What If" with current events and projecting how things would play out if things just kept going on the same pace with no changes from the government. I of course also am hopeful, so many of the concepts of the civilization telling the story are taken from an alternate future history idea that I wrote about six months ago.

I use satire because it is an effective tool that calls the hypocrisy and idiocy of the government into sharp relief. I don't do it because I want a lot of readers, rather I do it because it is the easiest way to tell the truth and get people to listen.

I will not pretend that I'm always going to be snarky, or always going to be serious. I am subject to the whims of the muse as is anybody.

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7 users have voted.

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mimi's picture

@detroitmechworks
I feel ashamed. Somehow I can't cope anymore as I used to. I envy you for your writing skills and that through writing you can cope. I was certainly not fair to you. So, again. Apologies.

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detroitmechworks's picture

@mimi Unfortunately, that is the nature of the cynic. We tend to bark at people who we are unsure of.

But again, thanks for commenting, thanks for honesty and thanks for being a part of this community.

We can't always cope sometimes. I know that, because I can't sometimes and have been exactly where you are. I don't have the answers, because they're different for everybody. But asking the questions puts you miles ahead of millions of others.

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3 users have voted.

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Deja's picture

@mimi
At least not from the military, because they don't recognize medicinal marijuana as medicine. That's what helped him. And, a person online helped to get him out of California where the state screwed with him as much as the VA. I might be misremembering, but I don't believe the VA or govt did anything but f*ck with him. Hell, even his family kicked him and his kids out after one of the kids got lice. And, that's not even mentioning the kids' deadbeat mom.

As for his writing, you're not alone in not always understanding it. He's very well read, and wicked smart, so I just figure, it's above my head, and that's why I don't understand much of it. Happens a lot here, for me, because of so many smart people here.

I'm so sorry for your son's PTSD.

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4 users have voted.

"The gatekeepers must change."
Prince

detroitmechworks's picture

@Deja And yes, I was helped by Llbear of TOP to move to Oregon. The state VA in California did very little to help me, and I was passed around from department to department without much help. Oregon VA on the other hand has been a godsend. I have a decent housing situation, and enough to live on. Since I live frugally, most of my expenses are my kids, and various events that I save for.

However, I want to state that my folks and I have made peace. At the time, I was extremely angry with them, and they with me. However, I've come to the realization that the family bonds are far more important than our minor political and lifestyle disagreements.

My kids mom is still on the streets from what I understand, with a gentleman she considers her husband. She's recently made contact, but it's been limited, and I don't feel like pushing the issue on somebody who's probably struggling as hard as I am at this point. Holding a grudge will not make me a better person, but I am not going to let her husband NEAR my kids. (For reasons I will not elucidate)

I'm finding my peace, I guess. Judo has a lot to do with it, Pot has a lot to do with it, and reading has a lot to do with it.

And thank you for the compliments on my writing.

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10 users have voted.

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Deja's picture

@detroitmechworks
As much as they might drive us nutty, and as long as contact with us doesn't harm us, family is, well lol, family. So glad you all made amends. Same with the ex. I know, all too well, what an expensive emotion hate can be. It's just not worth it. It also rubs off on our kids, and they couldn't choose their parents any more than we could. I still point out good traits I see in my son that I saw in his father. It's not always easy, though lol. Hopefully your ex finds her way. And I'm happy for you! (You're welcome, too.)

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4 users have voted.

"The gatekeepers must change."
Prince

mimi's picture

@detroitmechworks
story. I am sad that I couldn't digest all the material back then at TOP or now here. It's too much and I am not intelligent. My cultural identity is different from Americans. As one lady said once at TOP early on about me ... there is the cultural understanding missing. She was right. And may be hers was missing considering mine. That's just life.
We have to live with all the things missing in our lives, I guess.
I have the desire to leave. Just don't know where to.

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mimi's picture

@detroitmechworks
or remembered. I feel like a spoiled, fed with a silver spoon, cry-baby right now. I am glad things work out better now for you. And I should stop whining all the time.

Need back my own space. Should just not read and comment anymore. Again I am sorry to have put you through this shitty conversation.

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mimi's picture

@Deja
and yes you are so right, he is too wicked smart and most things are over my head anyway. I don't think my son got anything from the VA at all. BTW if you would say to my son that he has PTSD, he would jump at you and be angry like hell. I don't talk about it at all anymore with him. He feels nothing but insulted by being categorized like that. To be honest, I think he is a slave worker, a manipulated play-toy for wicked religious quacksalvers, and pretty much abused by capitalism. That sums it up.

But whatever.

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3 users have voted.

maybe because at Cascadian University I'm always worried about what's going to be on the test. Also for the subsequent exchanges. Some times I think we learn things without knowing it, and I know I learned a way of communicating at TOP that was unhelpful. Happy to be swimming in a different ocean.

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detroitmechworks's picture

@Snode "What I do not know I do not think I know"

Tests are just as much for you. Smile

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I do not pretend I know what I do not know.