The fear of the unknown
I have absolutely no idea if I will have a business by the end of the year.
I also have absolutely no idea if I will die through the night, for that matter. Nor do any of you.
Ordinarily, I would be panicking about the future, but I have grown old now, and I have a truncated future anyway, pandemic or no pandemic.
I have returned to the mindset of my distant youth, when the nukes could drop and kill us all. Everyday of showing love and just giving meant you died doing the right thing. Peace. Love. Communal living.
I have talked most of the day and night with that person who means the world to me, and we went for humor. Lots and lots, those face hurt things you get for laughing for hours. An unforgettable day of joy and laughter to stave off fear.
If you truly think you might get sick and die tomorrow or next month, take this day to say "I love you" to your family, to everyone on your Facebook account, or your phone contacts, or your email list. They need to know.
Try to apologize to everyone you may have aggravated. Do not leave this world with hard feelings, no matter who is right, who is wrong. That doesn't matter, in the end.
Just weeks before my husband died, he went all over the vicinity, shook hands with everyone with whom me had gotten crossways. He made peace.
*I found out after his death that a neighbor, a horse trainer, had promised to him that he would be there if my horses got sick or injured... The neighbor made good on that promise. I remember him injecting my foundering horse with medicine, watching him for hours. Like, most of the night.
So, I am hoping we all live for this day for good, and leave a legacy of good.
In the meantime, think of a beautiful flying dove, and wish it was you up in the air, so free.