This is not an essay about how to successfully prepare hamburgers, but more about avoiding the pitfalls of poor planning when two people are cooking what appears to be a simple meal.
As an example, A put the package of ground chuck out to thaw. A prepared the patties by shaping and seasoning them, then, A cooked them.
I have previously mentioned that B is THE WORLD'S GREATEST TOMATO SLICER.
Bravo to B!
And all condiments and veggies were placed handily on the dining table, a joint effort, and everything cleared and put away, another joint effort. Yum yum. "Hell yeahs" all around.
Now, do remember that A agreed to do the thawing, shaping, seasoning, and cooking for the meal. But A did not agree to packaging the remaining hunk of meat into a package for storing in the refrigerator. A was answering a work email and asked B to put the remaining meat away. B said, "Hell no."
A claimed that it would be fair, just, and an equitable settlement of the dispute. B's heels dug in visibly.
There being an impasse in the negotiating, A declared A would not speak to B, nor allow B to speak to A for 48 hours. B relented, to the extent of holding open the freezer bag, but left A to close the bag and put it away. A declared silence for 1 hour.
And that led to so much chaos, help is needed.
We can all agree on sign language for up and down, yes and no, come and go, look left or right, all the customary signals from referees from all kinds of sports venues.
But can ANYONE HERE tell me what a right armed Hitler sort of salute to the north, then the same thing with left are to the south, followed by arms folded across the chest, hands spinning like John Travolta did in Saturday Night Fever? Then right bent arm circling the head, index finger pointed down, then the right hand going forward with fingers doing, little crawly things on an imaginary surface out to arm's length, then arms folded and crossed and elbows flapping, then stretched arms slapping the outside of B's thighs, what A's locals call "whomping", then flapping arms like a flying bird, then pointing two fingers from B's eyes, then to A's eyes twice?
ANYBODY?
Does anybody deny that is sufficient to keep A and B laughing until our ribs hurt, and that it only takes a finger pointing now to keel us over with laughter?
Hope you all find that hour of silence, whether agreed upon or imposed, to lend you memories and laughter in perpetuity, because, hell yeah.