An apology

Several weeks ago, I was profane/overly abrasive here in my choice of language in a comment, which led to a corrective from a longtime online friend, which in turn led to several more obstreperous replies on my part. For this conduct I apologize and request my friend's forgiveness and that the community here also forgive me.

Yesterday's Tim Kaine selection has been a much-anticipated but still cathartic event in my political journey and probably that of many other Sanders supporters. This is a valuable place to be to discuss issues of great importance in a calm and respectful manner. I'll do better in the future.

Warm regards,

Francisco

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Alison Wunderland's picture

I don't know anything about the disagreement. Whatever it was, it takes a big person to make an apology.

Forgiveness is the glue that cements genial community.

hugs,
Alison

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Galtisalie's picture

Peace be with you.

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ChemBob's picture

the feeling, at least to me, that there are any remaining political solutions is gone. This causes stress and fear, and I too have been guilty of being overly obnoxious and irritating on various social media. I've actually removed a comment or two lately, in particular after the Tim Kaine nomination. Waking up into a nightmare is hard for all of us.

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Galtisalie's picture

They mean a lot to me and have a lot of wisdom.

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wilderness voice's picture

But it takes a big man (or woman) to own up to it and apologize. Kudos.

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Galtisalie's picture

Sadly it led to a hopefully only temporary breach in a friendship. I can't connect up with the friend either to directly apologize because the friend seems to have dropped off the site. These weeks have indeed been a stress to many people and relationships.

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check your private messages.

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lunachickie's picture

I am so incredibly angry at what's going on right now, it's coming out in ways I sometimes regret later. It's not about being right, though it often seems that way--it's about waking people up and making them think. I will never stop doing that. However, I will always stop and try to think twice if something I said (or was about to say) is truly hurtful. I don't always get that right.

Sometimes, the truth hurts, but that doesn't mean I can force anybody to look at it. They won't until they're ready for the pain on their own timetable. Not mine. That is the hardest part. It's so frustrating. People need to face their fears and their pain and the truth of what's creating so much of it--a government that's abandoning most of us to fend for our selves unless we get it together and push back. We are running out of time and we need more hands on deck. It's even more upsetting to feel like you're one of a few people on the top deck of the ship, with water around your ankles, yelling "what the fuck, people? Are you waiting until you're forced to swim off this thing?"

It doesn't always work that way, says this seafaring wench. Sometimes, if you wait too long, the ship sinks with you on the lower decks. And then you don't do anybody a damned bit of good, least of all yourself.

It's a fine line. I've tried to make amends since, but only the FSM knows if others will hear my good heart over my bitchy countenance.

Thanks for writing this--I don't know what prompted it, but it's a good reminder Wink

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Assume that people here are already enlightened. Also, less cursing, because you come off as angry and we become immune to its startle factor.

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lunachickie's picture

Here's the thing about "cussing", though: I don't do it to "startle", that happens to be my everyday language since about 1979. I've spent decades around working musicians, most of who speak very "colorfully"; I work in a shop that's mostly guys. But like I said, duly noted. I'm a girl, I'm not supposed to have such a filthy mouth. My mother, FSM rest her soul, would surely agree with you.

As far as what I can assume about "others" here, I am sorry but I can't simply assume that everyone else is enlightened any more than you can. Not on an online forum where you have nothing to go by but someone's text on a screen. Some people aren't what they appear to be, anywhere online, at any time. IMO, one should do that on a case-by-case basis, even here.

At any rate, this is about more than me, or even everyone else. I apologize for commenting here, because my intent was not to steal Galt's thunder or seek suggestions, but simply to note that I can relate to where they're coming from.

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Deja's picture

I'm glad you did.

You're a passionate, intelligent person. I value that, even if I don't agree with you all the time.

As for the cussing, I too have a sailor's mouth in real life. My current job, surrounded by males, is the only one I've ever had where they never cuss! I feel stifled. They're all very religious (lots of Jehovah's Witnesses and one Muslim). At least I can let it all hang out at home.

You stole no thunder, in my opinion. I'd say cheers, but it's too early.

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lunachickie's picture

it's 5 o'clock somewhere...

Drinks

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shaharazade's picture

I love to curse. I'm immature and I went to a Catholic girls school where I learned to cuss, smoke and play poker like all good Catholic girls do. That's my excuse. My husband is a musician and he never swears ever instead he uses me to vicariously swear. He once swore in 1990 when a lousy pop tune came on the car radio 'What kind of crap song is this' slipped out.

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elenacarlena's picture

I became a feminist, which was at about age 3.

Here are some Shakespearean curses you might want to try:

“Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile.”

“You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!”

“Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.”

“Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.”

Have fun! Biggrin

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lunachickie's picture

a "lady", that is. David Lee Roth once said that there are women, girls, ladies and gals. I forget all the distinctions he made between the four, but definitely remember that I decided right then and there that I was a Gal. And gals cuss. Regularly.

LOVE that Will! I think I need to read more of him, now that I'm older and don't have to do it for a grade, lol!:

“Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.”

"You suck and your face will make a good punching bag..."

That would have been a great English Lit exercise: translate Shakespearean curses into modern language....

Thank you for sharing that brilliance, elenacarlena Smile

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shaharazade's picture

telling me that to stop being a hooligan tom boy and act like a lady. She would periodically drag me inside form playing out side and dress me in ridiculous frilly girlie clothes and tell me to act and look like a lady. At 8 years old I said to myself fuck this shit or the kids equivalence. She also told me that lady's never wash their own floors. She had a cleaning lady. I thought at the time those lady's who can't afford a maid must have filthy floors I often think of this while scrapping and scrubbing the dirt I track in from gardening off my floors.

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Galtisalie's picture

Thank you for your words!

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elenacarlena's picture

Being the curious type (we cats are like that), I went back and looked. You were not the only abrasive person on that thread, it seemed to me. Hopefully bygones will be bygones.

Here are my hopes: That the supers realize Hillary is unelectable and nominate Bernie. If not, that Bernie will run third party. If not, that Jill becomes a viable candidate. Then we can band together for the greater good:

Jill Stein tumblr_static_tumblr_static_9ij7f94gke80cwwockw8ccgco_640[1].jpg

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Galtisalie's picture

I should have handled it much better, particularly because a friend was involved who also happens to be a great person.

This is going to be an important next few days, and I have an open mind. I will avoid a full discussion in this thread because I don't want to defeat the spirit of apology and reconciliation, especially on this topic that is so close to everyone's ragged nerves at this point and ironically was the topic that led to my needing to apologize. I do believe the Clintons and their neoliberal kind must be stopped, and the question is how is best to do it. I will be paying close attention to what Sanders says and would love for his delegates to walk out at some point. This is serious stuff. On the other hand, I can't stand Trump and recognize him for the phony he is, and despise racism and immigrant scape-goating, the prospect of more Scalias, etc.

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shaharazade's picture

I have had to make amends here for my bad behavior. This community is very understanding of the fact that people here care and are freaked out about the state of the world. You are to me a wonderful addition to the site. I always liked reading your essay's at dkos. The fact that one can flip out and apologize sincerely to all with is a good sign that this site is humanistic. I hope your friend accepts your apology.

I have in the past here gone off the rails and emotionally lashed out at people I care deeply about.. My apology's were excepted as yours will be too. The whole world seems to be in a state of hyper anxiety. Maybe it's a flux or a process of change which is being thwarted from every direction. I've been trying unsuccessfully to disengage from the political fray. People I know and love are as agitated as I am. Thanks for apologizing for whatever it was. I hope it makes you feel better and you don't stay away.

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Galtisalie's picture

Your words and observations are very kind. I still feel the need for virtual political community and will henceforth participate here for that purpose rather than Daily Kos. I'm also redirecting a lot of my energy to local literally grassroots direct action, including working with soil and plants!

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shaharazade's picture

that as I'm an urban food grower and lover of soil and plants. It's really hard to do politics right now but i hve really liked your anti-capitalist writing. Either way dirt and growing stuff or anti-capitalist eassys or even your take on poltics I will look for and read them. don't worry be happy!

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thanatokephaloides's picture

..... I didn't see your alleged breach, but I certainly know that you act without malice. Our situation is grave. All sanity has fled from American political discourse and governance. Serious questions need to be asked, even if they aren't considered pleasant ones in all quarters. And you have the courage to ask them. This means that sometimes some people may be offended; telling the truth, and insisting upon the same from others, has that consequence all too often.

Don't be discouraged! {{{{Francisco}}}}

p.s.:
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(hugs and purrs from the Chocolate kitty)

Smile

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"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar

"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides

Galtisalie's picture

Hugs and polite barks from me and tres perros manchados. These ugly days of Clinton machinations must not create their own reality of divide and rule on the left. Solidarity must prevail.

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