(Cascadian National University, Lecture Hall)

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TX5FgDJnyN8]

Morning to all, and I hope you're all looking forward to the baking and candymaking. About four years ago, my kid made a merryberry candy shell that we poured over some imported chocolate, and it was incredible. I think we had half the city show up at the big house to enjoy it.

I see you smiling back there, and I think I remember you. (Points to back of class)

Anyway, it's an interesting thing to mention, because when we come around to American Philosophers, it was much like their Halloween treats. The really good stuff was derided, mocked and seen as useless or dangerous. A family would simply go to the local corporate cult and get a set of unreal candy, made to resemble chocolate, nuts, or fruits, but made uniform and sealed in cult wrappers. In this way the children of the Empire were taught to associate only good things with the cults. Any treat that did not come from the cults was to be thought of as poisonous and immediately destroyed. They even had American Soldiers whose only job on Halloween was to bless cult treats and destroy non-cult treats.

Which is why if you are looking for the true thought in American Philosophy, you can't trust what American cults thought was the most important. Instead you have to search out the smaller authors and poets who were derided and had small audiences. These are the ones who had the greatest impact upon the American psyche, and helped to salvage the few good ideals that the philosophers came up with.

We'll start with the most well known of the American Philosophers, Alfred the Yank. Alfred was born to an higher caste than many Americans, and yet was extremely close to large numbers of lower caste individuals his entire life. Early in his career, Alfred was even associated with some of the Highest cult members before they fell from favor. It was this closeness to the seats of power which allowed his poetry to be inducted into the Canon of the American Empire, allowing some extremely unique and honest critiques of American culture to completely slip by the centers of propaganda.

Alfred did this by mimicking the major philosophers that were promoted by the Propagandists. He matched the rhymes and meters, but altered the lyrics to point to the actual truth of what was going on in the Empire. He even spoke at length against the secret police, who were unable to retaliate due to the incredible popularity of Alfred.

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-CG5w4YwOI]

Throughout his philosophical career, Alfred constantly mocked social norms and was treated as a joke by the cult leaders at the time. After all, the people were also buying the propaganda that Alfred Mocked, and thus Alfred was serving the goals of the Empire. The Empire felt the need to preface every one of his pieces with the warning that the item in question was "Weird" and thus to not be taken seriously.

Alfred's balancing act continued through his career, instituting a disrespect of social hypocrisy and lack of work, primarily by performing the poetry of many of the propaganda cults better than they could, and doing it in front of a live audience. In many ways Alfred was mirroring the ancient Japanese custom of challenging rival schools to a fight in order to determine which had the right to call itself superior. Since such challenges were absolutely forbidden in American culture, as they vastly preferred to allow the Empire and Cults to arbitrate disputes, often the mocked and humiliated cult philosopher would not even realize that Alfred had challenged them until the corporate reports on sales came in.

Alfred was by far the most successful of the American Philosophers, but there were others who also challenged the status quo through their music. Twain, Hoffman, and Joplin were some more of the names who have come down to us, all who expressed the same dissatisfaction and desire for a more human experience. Of course, cult criticisms of these philosophers were many, often hinging on the use of forbidden words that the cult had proscribed, or upon supposed crimes against the Empire itself.

We honestly do not know how many philosophers the Empire persecuted and killed. Philosophy was considered the realm of the lazy in America. The work of discussion, thought and reflection was considered a weakness in American Society, and those that engaged in it were seen as attempting to steal from the cults. Many times the cults would simply refuse to allow a philosopher to eat, sleep or live within the confines of their power. Many philosophers would claim that they were absolutely NOT philosophers, and would mock the very concept while simultaneously engaging in poetry that directly challenged the status quo and cultural norms.

Of course, near the end of the Empire such common lies were part and parcel of doing business in the American nightmare that was the Empire's bureaucracy. The noise became so great within the American mind that the vast majority of citizens simply tuned it out, and listened to the whispers that the philosophers hid among their munching of popcorn.

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjQxwIJ6xM8]