Ohmygawd.

And it's only Wednesday.

Oy.

So I get caught up like anyone else in the emotional rush to rush, which energy has been very apparent, culminating in Tuesday's primaries and the political usage of same.

I feel this need to immediately come to a conclusion about the Presidential primary and every single time I feel this, I just can't stomach it.

Why should I hurry?

I donated $50 more to Bernie today because it felt like a good thing to do. It was in response to one of his campaign emails. I love it when he calls us "brothers and sisters" and I also love it when both he and Jeff Weaver use the word "solidarity" in their signatures. Just moves me, it does.

This whole "pivot" notion really bugs me.

I understand that both Bernie and Hillary have pivoted in their campaigns, and it's a legit political tactic, I have no gripe with it. Pivoting is fine, go for it, pivot away.

But don't get all demanding with me, Hillary, that your campaign is losing "patience" with me and my brothers and sisters.

I lost patience with you when you declared you were running for President.

That didn't seem to stop you, Hillary, and your patience or lack thereof isn't a priority with me. And that goes for the DNC and the media, too.

Yeah, yeah, you're going to bury us all, I know. The gigantic Empire Political Machine which no mortal can overcome. Ooooooh! Really gigantic! Fearsome in firepower! Gorged with moolah! Oooooh!

I'm serious, it's scarier to me than my favorite Stephen King horror novel. I'm a 61 year old legal secretary, what do I know from Empire shenanigans? And why am I seeing it now when I was very successful in the past avoiding these realities in favor of the fashionable life of a glamorous NYC secretary?

Well, who knows. Regardless, I feel this rush to decide whether or not I will support Hillary at some future time.

Well this particular NOW is kinda keeping me from making that decision, as that decision is dependent upon how events unfold from here to the convention, regardless of the horse race.

Someone here at the Caucus wrote an essay talking about how Bernie made him want to be a better person. I dug that, because to be frank, I have more bad qualities in common with Hillary than I do good ones with Bernie.

It's just that I want to change, and Bernie's message, combined with an enormous outpouring of music, art, poetry, astonishing stars like Killer Mike, Mark Ruffalo, Rosario Dawson, Nina Turner, Ben Jealous, Danny Glover, Tim Black (he's a real hoot, and I'm getting more and more attracted to his message and how he delivers it), Erica Garner, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, so many more - just typing each name makes me gasp with how they've changed me and made me want to change even more.

Hillary -- well there's Gloria Stein- ... I mean, Madeline Albr- ... oh no, I meant John Lew- ... well, I'm sure there's some very inspiring artists, like Katy Per- ... oy.

So I'm terribly sorry to be interfering with anyone's pivot, but I'm going to go at my own pace, because that's the only pace I got.