Russians Declare Election Too Chaotic For Them To Successfully Interfere

Evil leader of Russia and interferer of elections, Vladamir Putin, agreed. “In our wildest ambitions, we never would have tried to get a straight out Communist to win the nomination in a major U.S. party,” Putin said. “I don’t know how we’re supposed to interfere and add to that.” Putin hung his head sadly. “It’s like people don’t even need a Russia anymore.”

Russians Declare Election Too Chaotic For Them To Successfully Interfere

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Steven D's picture

completely miss the satire.

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18 users have voted.

"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

edg's picture

Putin is going to have to come up with new ways to scare the babies.

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8 users have voted.
ZimInSeattle's picture

Bernie to president since he's not a fucking psychopathic warmonger.

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24 users have voted.

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." - JFK | "The more I see of the moneyed peoples, the more I understand the guillotine." - G. B. Shaw Bernie/Tulsi 2020

@ZimInSeattle speaking as a Canadian, I find it almost unbelievable that:

1. there are average voters out there not supporting M4A or the Green New Deal.

2. a large number of voters are calling for party unity when the party has no cohesive platform.

3. so many people believe bizarre shit like Russiagate.

4. personal likeability is more important than whether the candidate will bomb the shit out of one of our countries.

5. a worryingly large number of voters display and take pride in a lack of basic understanding of the difference between socialism v. communism, the lack of cursory knowledge or understanding of American imperialism, and the lack of understanding propaganda and the corporate media spewing it.

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20 users have voted.

@Le Frog
However, not so many ordinary citizens in most (almost all?) other countries today have much to brag about these days. How many socialistic public policy changes have been enacted in the past forty years? From 1933 through 1973 there was huge progress on that in the US despite a populace that holds tight to its rugged individualism self-identity further compounded by being highly racist.

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6 users have voted.

@Marie @Marie hadn't been ravaged by imperialism first and now American corporate/militaristic occupation. I'm surprised that this has to be said. The United States creating an economy on the backs of slave labour to create unprecedented wealth is not something to be proud of; invading and occupying other countries for their resources like oil shouldn't go hand in hand with wondering why they aren't doing better. Just two examples that have decades of trauma and ugly legacies still felt today.

The other thing I'll say is that you are not paying attention if you can't name countries that are accomplishing amazing things. You specifically cited 1933-1973, so allow me to introduce to anyone who doesn't Tommy Douglas, a Canadian politician who led the first democratic socialist government in North America (Saskatchewan) and introduced the continent's first single-payer, universal health care program, commonly known as Medicare. We still have it, and we still worry that centrists and conservatives are coming for it.

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9 users have voted.

@Le Frog @Le Frog
that I was proud of all the despicable US interventions around the world, unaware of how that has seriously stymied advances in much of the world, or that Americans have had any domestic public policy advances over the past forty years?

Bolivians have every right to boast that they re-elected Evo Morales (and I still expect that they'll find a way to get him back). Mexicans can be proud of electing Andrés Manuel López Obrador and that they provided asylum for Morales. Venezuelans resistance and at enormous personal cost to the poorest to US backed coups and holding onto their Bolivarian Revolution is beyond impressive. Same with Nicaragua. Nor would I ever diminish the strength and courage exhibited by many people in many countries who did everything possible in their resistance.

What I was referring to is the pathetic roll-over at the ballot box by the people in many countries. For Boris Johnson, Macron, fourth-term Merkel, Trump, and your own Trudeau (another person Mayo Pete can emulate) -- and their predecessors were equally pathetic. Berlusconi -- there was a winner.

Also as you perhaps surmised, using 1973 as a rough cut=off date indicated my familiarity with Tommy Douglas.

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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Marie

for a while. At the end of the 20th century, it looked like it was gonna stop working, or at least that the American public had their limits as to what horrible shit they would and would not accept, so the bastards started using systematic election fraud at the highest levels. I guess they might have done that sooner except that they needed to be sure our legal system was well locked down.

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2 users have voted.

Actually, the issue at stake is patriotism. You must return to your world and put an end to the Commies. All it takes are a few good men.
--Q

Exit polls not involving George W. Bush or Hillary Clinton tend to be quite accurate.
--Doug Hatlem

@Le Frog

we still worry that centrists and conservatives are coming for it

they are, and have been since the day it was passed.

Whatever happened with the case of that douche-nozzle in Quebec who went to court claiming that Medicare violated the Charter?

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1 user has voted.

The earth is a multibillion-year-old sphere.
The Nazis killed millions of Jews.
On 9/11/01 a Boeing 757 (AA77) flew into the Pentagon.
AGCC is happening.
If you cannot accept these facts, I cannot fake an interest in any of your opinions.

@UntimelyRippd
Social Security and every other government social safety net program. They never give up.

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2 users have voted.
Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Marie

the oligarchs to limit themselves to their countries of origin, would you? After all, what's a country except an occasion to maximize profit? And what's a culture except a way of tricking people into accepting such treatment?

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2 users have voted.

Actually, the issue at stake is patriotism. You must return to your world and put an end to the Commies. All it takes are a few good men.
--Q

Exit polls not involving George W. Bush or Hillary Clinton tend to be quite accurate.
--Doug Hatlem

@Le Frog know that Russia isn't Communist anymore, sigh. I had a Bernie shirt on one day and my neighbor actually warned me that I best be careful with Bernie, he likes communist Russia don't I know... I tried my best to rebut that but this woman was a university professor at one time and I could only get so far. I could feel her wanting to admonish me that she was a professor, well "educated" after all, and I should not buy into "fake news."

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13 users have voted.

Only a fool lets someone else tell him who his enemy is. Assata Shakur

@lizzyh7
no debate or rational conversation is possible because they've really lost their minds. It was so easy for such a long time to overlook that mentality existing in the DP because it was so flagrant on the right. Yet, I do recall a time when it was fairly prevalent in the DP and outside the south.

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3 users have voted.

@Marie as far as I know are both Trump voters. I know he is as he and I have discussed some politics and we agree on much of it but alas, he still thinks Trump is "doing good things" for the economy. So I guess I assume she's a Republican but who knows, I don't envision asking her about that any time soon, lol. She loves her some Bill Gates too, all that great charity he does doncha know... Who says propaganda doesn't work?!

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7 users have voted.

Only a fool lets someone else tell him who his enemy is. Assata Shakur

@Le Frog Imagine how those of us who live here feel. (grimace)

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11 users have voted.

@tle I'm sorry!

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7 users have voted.
Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Le Frog

of systematic destruction of one's educational system and press will do for one.

Good ol' CIA. And their private-sector oligarch friends. Top-notch work; you really can't mistake their touch for anybody else's.

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4 users have voted.

Actually, the issue at stake is patriotism. You must return to your world and put an end to the Commies. All it takes are a few good men.
--Q

Exit polls not involving George W. Bush or Hillary Clinton tend to be quite accurate.
--Doug Hatlem

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@ZimInSeattle

for him, apparently.

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2 users have voted.

Actually, the issue at stake is patriotism. You must return to your world and put an end to the Commies. All it takes are a few good men.
--Q

Exit polls not involving George W. Bush or Hillary Clinton tend to be quite accurate.
--Doug Hatlem

Then I found that it was a site for ... Christian satire. Which somewhat explained the idiotic reference of Sanders as communist. They should have stuck with just the headline.

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8 users have voted.

@tle
Vidalia Onion way ("In Brazen Act Of Aggression, Iran Deploys Its Country Right Next To Our Aircraft Carrier", or "Catholic Plans To Spend Lent Giving Up Something He Really Shouldn't Have Been Doing In The First Place"), right up until the moment when they decide an article should include the word "communism", at which point they leave all reason and wit behind. A bit sad, really.

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8 users have voted.

The earth is a multibillion-year-old sphere.
The Nazis killed millions of Jews.
On 9/11/01 a Boeing 757 (AA77) flew into the Pentagon.
AGCC is happening.
If you cannot accept these facts, I cannot fake an interest in any of your opinions.

@UntimelyRippd Say no more. Clear, concise, and spot the fuck on.

Thanks for that. I needed the chuckle. Have you thought about a copyright for the phrase? Or just a t-shirt?

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1 user has voted.

@vtcc73
good title for my memoirs.

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2 users have voted.

The earth is a multibillion-year-old sphere.
The Nazis killed millions of Jews.
On 9/11/01 a Boeing 757 (AA77) flew into the Pentagon.
AGCC is happening.
If you cannot accept these facts, I cannot fake an interest in any of your opinions.

@UntimelyRippd Then I went there today, only to see this headline: "Bernie Sanders Praises Slave Owners For Free Housing Program". FU, BB. I deleted the bookmark.

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0 users have voted.

@tle
in a really sad way.

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0 users have voted.

The earth is a multibillion-year-old sphere.
The Nazis killed millions of Jews.
On 9/11/01 a Boeing 757 (AA77) flew into the Pentagon.
AGCC is happening.
If you cannot accept these facts, I cannot fake an interest in any of your opinions.

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

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0 users have voted.

Actually, the issue at stake is patriotism. You must return to your world and put an end to the Commies. All it takes are a few good men.
--Q

Exit polls not involving George W. Bush or Hillary Clinton tend to be quite accurate.
--Doug Hatlem