Russia hacked my bathroom scale, added 20 pounds

Those bastards!

These days you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Russian hacker.
For instance, there's this headline 'Russia wants to hack the Oscars'.
I'm guessing it has something to do with a wardrobe malfunction.

It gets worse.
It turns out that Russia (the entire nation of Russia, apparently) is hacking the Olympics.

In one internal message released Wednesday, a top lawyer for the International Olympic Committee criticized the World Anti-Doping Agency, the global regulator of drugs in sports, for having published two damning investigative reports about the Russian doping scandal without having first discussed their content with sports officials.
...Fancy Bear emphasized, however, that some of the investigators who had worked to expose the details of Russia’s cheating also had done work for the United States and British governments. As examples, the hackers pointed to Martin Dubbey, who worked with Mr. McLaren, and David Tinsley, the chief executive of 5 Stones intelligence and a former agent for the Drug Enforcement Administration.

5 Stones intelligence is a corporate intelligence company that contracts out to the DOJ, ATF and FBI.
That does seem to put things into context a bit.

In the email, Stupp reportedly included comments to a McLaren letter which read, “It seems that RM’s (Richard McLaren’s) first report was intended to lead to the complete expulsion of the Russian Team from the Rio Games, and the second report…? To expulse the Russian Team from the PyeongChang Games?...But not to deal with the athletes on an individual basis.”
“Perhaps RM and WADA should have thought this through in more detail prior to the reports being made public - in particular, to themselves to have had the courtesy to discuss this matter of principle with the IOC in further detail, before WADA went down the path of using the (first) report to try to have the Russian Team excluded from the Rio Games, rather than RM and WADA considering to go down the path that the IOC intended to take, namely, to deal with the individual athletes on a case-by-case basis. This put the IOC and the IFs, and the Olympic movement in general, in a very difficult position.”

Those bastards! How dare they reveal interesting and relevant information to the public again!

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Wink's picture

kept it under 10 pounds
(weight gain) by Tax Day, Apr. 15,
I've had a pretty fair winter.
So far so good, but the winter is young,
the Cheetos within grasp.

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the little things you can do are more valuable than the giant things you can't! - @thanatokephaloides. On Twitter @wink1radio. (-2.1) All about building progressive media.

Song of the lark's picture

@gjohnsit I hear state sanctioned NORK hackers are being blamed for the 500 million dollar hack of Japanese Coincheck exchange.

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No soy, gluten, dairy, GMO. Everything has to be organic and/or grass fed. I lost six pounds in 3 weeks. So please don't tell me that Russia hacked my scale.

I loaded all my stuff into TurboTax today. Next step is to see if it's rights. If Russia wants to hack anything, they're welcome to finish my taxes.

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"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

hecate's picture

@dkmich
will Hack the taxes s-l300.jpgand divert the monies to the manufacture of Putin Matryoshka dolls that will be sold in the gift shops of the Americans to thereby sap and impurify the Americans' precious bodily fluids.

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Bisbonian's picture

@hecate , our precious bodily fluids!!!

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAHJCPoWCC8]

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"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X

hecate's picture

@Bisbonian
criminal Rooski tax Hacking results in loss of essence.

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SV4Y_ensniY]

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EdMass's picture

It's them commie bastards, oh wait not commies anymore, then, then, Oligarchs, yea that's it.

The fng Ruskie Oligarchs have made me gain weight.

I can get salad from Venezuela can't I?

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Prof: Nancy! I’m going to Greece!
Nancy: And swim the English Channel?
Prof: No. No. To ancient Greece where burning Sapho stood beside the wine dark sea. Wa de do da! Nancy, I’ve invented a time machine!

Firesign Theater

Stop the War!

earthling1's picture

@EdMass
You'd better hurry before our troops get there and burn the fields.

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Neither Russia nor China is our enemy.
Neither Iran nor Venezuela are threatening America.
Cuba is a dead horse, stop beating it.

Of where the weight gain came from and bad news on the taxes! Lol

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Life is what you make it, so make it something worthwhile.

This ain't no dress rehearsal!

earthling1's picture

20 lbs of ugly fat by cutting my head o.........

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Neither Russia nor China is our enemy.
Neither Iran nor Venezuela are threatening America.
Cuba is a dead horse, stop beating it.

how would you know if "outside forces" were trying to pull any shenanigans? And why would anyone need to "hack" the Olympics? Just use the same accepted methods as anyone else.

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Idolizing a politician is like believing the stripper really likes you.

love their children. There's no better reason to nuke them, and as soon as possible.

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Orwell: Where's the omelette?

snoopydawg's picture

people should have realized how crazy this Russian hacking everything is. Good grief, grown adults believing that a child's game was important enough for a foreign country to hack is beyond any sense of sanity.

IMG_1302_1.PNG

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Wink's picture

making an attempt to
influence 12 year olds,
@snoopydawg
America's future voters.

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the little things you can do are more valuable than the giant things you can't! - @thanatokephaloides. On Twitter @wink1radio. (-2.1) All about building progressive media.

@snoopydawg There is no rational argument that can be used to convince the partisans with the media and democrats that what they purpose is logically or otherwise unhinged. One argument in particular that keeps the hysteria from logical inquiry is that Putin always plays both sides. He is for and against BLM for example.

My ex-in-laws were born again evangelical Pentecostals. In their world, Satan was real and active in all things. Got a cold? You let your guard down against Satan. Putin is the secular version of that religious paranoia.

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It seems many who never had records of doping were cast out, even after they were vindicated. Of course Russian hackers got into WADA and found out a bunch of famous American stars were given exceptions to use drugs for in particular attention deficit--which of course did not get media attention. And as one pundit noted, their are several meds for attention deficit, but only the one considered performance enhancing was prescribed. Crazy that.

but in terms of the Olympics had a very cynical thought:

Russians dope their Olympic athletes. America rapes them.

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