Time Was
Time was when a boy was raised up to be respectful and beyond that to take personal responsibility for the well-being of those younger than him and especially of all females regardless of age. These things were taught by the mother, reinforced by the father, and practiced on the mother, sisters, and near neighbors. Respect was shown by forms of address and by acknowledging the folks around him. This was called “paying attention”. Personal responsibility was shown by looking out for the safety of younger children, by assisting those in need, and by demonstration: opening and holding doors for females (putting them first), carrying their parcels (sharing their burden), walking between females and traffic (protecting them from mud splash). This was called “having good manners”. These things were done for several reasons, but primarily to remind the boy of his responsibility. It was also done as a statement to others that their values were observed and respected and that the boy was a member of the community. Were things perfect? No, but an effort was made...a consistent effort over a long period of time. Stories of disrespect toward females were met with universal approbation.
All of this was trashed during the ‘70s by those who lumped chivalry in with chauvinism. Not a single female in the entire country said a word about it. Years later those who did were shouted down as they are to this day. It has never been replaced with anything. This left an entire generation of males with no clue as to public comportment. Silence and wonder is the default response. Time was when rude boys could be quashed with a glare or, at most, a word. Now they hold sway. When the values of that generation were trashed, a barrier between females and cads was removed and the cads know it. Standing around whining about cads and getting off on that energy doesn’t change anything. Telling stories about cads only puffs them up. It’s been forty years. Are you still surprised that there are cads? Maybe that’s because there used to be someone between you and them.
These are fascinating times in which we live. The effects of human activity are accelerating without bound. The love of many grows cold. Folkways and mores, strongly held positions passed down for generations, disappear in a few months. Just the way it is. Every break through must needs be directly preceded by a break down. Break downs are messy, painful, disappointing. If you cling to the broken stuff you live in the dumps.
When folkways and mores are summarily discarded, the tremendous amount of energy stored up in them is suddenly released. This energy was invested as a collective act of the community and, as such, is a public asset which should be husbanded. However, when the collective vessel is trashed, the energy is seized by the trashers who immediately become intoxicated…drunk on power. The feeling is one of exuberance, exhilaration…ecstasy. These are, as we all know, “good” feelings, hard to attain. When they come easily, the source is not questioned: the feeling is good, so it must be “right”. It is so powerful that a person can drop into a group out of nowhere, sprinkle a little of it around, and instantly affect any number of people who were reflective, rational, levelheaded only moments before. Once learned, it is a simple trick easily repeated. Free energy is always taken from somewhere else and usually is ripped off.
Of course, groping and harassment existed when I was a boy, but not openly. And, in public, every man was bound to put a stop to it. Rough justice was meted out on the spot, no questions asked. That’s as it should be, but never will be again. One thing a male is taught early is: fight your own battles. If you’re going to dress like a male and cuss like a male and act like a male, then maybe you should learn to punch like one, too. (And the chorus in the background repeats: that’s not what we want! We don’t want anyone to have to live that way!) Well, get on with it, then. You have seized control over the public discourse on this issue. What’s the next new thing?
It’s really, really hard to not just shrug and say “Okay, you got what you said you wanted: now live with it.” You dumped the gentlemen so the only ones left to give the male response are the cads. You don’t like it. What are you going to do about it? Don’t look at me…I’m still busy with the last chore you gave me: fucking off. Walk a mile in your shoes? Won’t do any good as you are wearing mine. And my socks. And my pants. And my t-shirt. And my shirt. And my suit. (Not my tie because I don’t own one anymore.) And my jacket. And my hat. All dressed up and nowhere at all. Welcome to the new boys’ club. New boys always get special treatment.
Comments
Dear strollingone,
In the workplace, which is where most of the recent complaints and allegations seem to be coming from, there is a really simple remedy. If you want adult, responsible behavior among your staff, you need to...wait for it...hire grownups. How do you identify grownups, you might ask? Not by their bust size, how much they spent on their clothing, or evidence of orthodontic enhancement. Do you hire a guy on the basis of how much his suit cost? Or where he got his haircut? Or his twinkling eyes and bright smile?
You want fun and cute, fun and cute is what you get, and don't cry to me when fun and cute betrays you, which what fun and cute always does.
Sure, cads abound. Always have. Grownup women, you know, those boring, ordinary types who wear decent but ordinary clothing and don't necessarily always have "something nice to say", learn how to deal with them. First, you learn how to spot them, then you figure out how to keep your distance and after that you develop a repertoire of subtle thanks but no thanks responses.
Mary Bennett
Thank you, Nastarana, for your response.
"hire grownups"
Actually, far easier said than done. Cads know the "chameleon" routine altogether too well.
Or how much his alleged "education" cost, which is a major component here as well!
The CONfidence game is the most significant part of this problem. While grownup non-egotists get tossed out the door without consideration, cad CONfidence men get the jobs -- with predictable results. In my humble opinion, those with too much confidence are liars as well as cads.
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
Old boys club not a new one - forced silence it the best tool
In the good old days mentioned the silence of a victim of abuse in a private space was enforced by the victim becoming a social outcast. Once identified as soiled woman, troublesome child or a weak man a person could be thrown to the edges of society or hidden out of sight for a while until signs of poor choices disappeared. Today the tools of silence has been the Non-disclosure agreement and closed court cases to hide serial abusers.
History is full of rough justice misapplied to wrongly accused individuals or as a double down on victims.
Forging a new ways forward that respects individuals as fairly as possible and removes support for power abuse is the way forward. Understanding missteps will be made. We need to move through the obstacles and objections, not use them as reasons to turn on each other.
Still yourself, deep water can absorb many disturbances with minimal reaction.
--When the opening appears release yourself.
Thank you, Studentofearth, for your response.
Agreed about obstacles and objections.
Our grandparents used to live with us
the rest of the family lived in the same neighborhood,
everyone knew everyone and took care of most if ever needed.
Today amerika is a me, myself and I society where everything
is being pretty much crapified.
People need to see others as they see themselves, amerikans
through IP's no longer does that, other's aren't worthy. And
there is this.
https://eand.co/what-do-you-call-a-world-that-cant-learn-from-itself-58a...
I never knew that the term "Never Again" only pertained to
those born Jewish
"Antisemite used to be someone who didn't like Jews
now it's someone who Jews don't like"
Heard from Margaret Kimberley
Thank you, ggersh.
We do, indeed, live in such a world. Seems like it is bound and determined to stay on the path it is on.
culturally
That is "culturally". The social contract is the root of all culture, with polities, institutions, economies, etc., forming the rest of the culture.)
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
In the spirit of civility and respect
with the acknowledgement that words are a powerful tool of communication when employed precisely, could you please clarify who you are referring to and how this helps further understanding between the divided groups on this topic here at c99?
There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier
Thank you for your question, zoebear.
It applies to every single person who stands around whining about cads and getting off on the energy.
You're welcome strollingone
But I am still interested in how this sentiment will help further understanding between the divide on this topic here on c99?
There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier
Ah, but this is not a sentiment, but a fact.
Actually it's subjective
And I'm still not clear on how it will help further understanding here on c99?
There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier
And in keeping with the goal of furthering understanding
Through respect rather than acrimony, can you clarify how this sentiment will add value to the discussion?
There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier
Again, thank you, zoebear.
It is not a sentiment at all, but three facts. If it doesn't speak to you, then it probably wasn't meant for you.
Respectfully, I would disagree
They are not facts, they are how you personally see the world. Your historical references are simplified and lack the complexity your thesis certainly deserves.
There is always Music amongst the trees in the Garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier
I reject your premise entirely
The sorts of historical indulgences and "respect" towards women that you are referring to were offered as a consolation for their lack of social means and equality. Being treated more equally under the law and as a human being (with all the coarseness and indifference which that implies), rather than as a delicate flower, is indeed progress.
Thank you for your response, FutureNow.
Selfish society and not really the good old days everywhere . .
I grew up in a bubble I guess. Major feminists in my family, but I did not know there was anything unique about that. My mom lived away from home and worked to attend high school in rural South Dakota. Went to teacher's college. Taught in a one room school house. Then she, a sister, and a friend decided, "hey . . . let's move to Portland, Oregon." She worked for J.C. Penny then was the main switchboard operator for Crown Zellerbach. Then she and the friend decided to join the Coast Guard. Road the train to Palm Beach for basic training. (told me some dude reached in and felt her up in the sleeping compartment) While in the Coast Guard she was stationed in New Orleans. One of her best friends was Joe Rosenthal (she had a scrap book with great photography). Got out of the service and finished her B.A. Worked for a few years then married my dad and joined him in the farming operation in Iowa. My dad, being the eldest son, sort of had no choice but to take over the family farm. He was cool with it though. His 6 sisters all went to college. Three served in the army as nurses. One was in the Battle of the Bulge and got a purple heart - also PTSD.
I grew up thinking this was the way it was for women. My dad, tall strapping Norwegian, ridiculed chauvinists. I don't know if he opened the door for my mom, but they worked together as a team all of those years. This is the upper Midwest mind you, not Texas. This is what I remember about all of my aunts and uncles that I knew well enough. They worked as a team. Very vocally disagreed. Passionately loved each other.
However, for my in-laws in Texas, it was not that way. None of them will ever read this so I can say it. Basically my mother-in-law was a slave to her husband and two sons. She seemed to sort of be OK with it because she had plenty of money and social stuff to do with friends. She told me about my father-in-law, "I love him, but I don't like him."
I appreciate this essay, because I think it is a good thing to say what you feel. Get it out.
My brothers and I all ended up divorced the first time around. I think it is because our reality was a teamwork, mutual respect and love reality. But we grew up in a bubble. We thought we would get married and it would just be like Ma and Pa.
And yes . . . . we are living in such a selfish society now . . . it is a miracle that anyone has a good marriage, or good relationships with others at work.
What has helped me is understanding that I will never understand men. It's impossible because we have estrogen and you guys have testosterone. They mess with your emotions differently. I know I will never really understand my husband. And I am OK with it.
Marilyn
"Make dirt, not war." eyo
Thank you, mhagle.
My experience was closer to the Texas side of your family.
Sorry about that
Because the teamwork, vocally disagreeing, passionately loving thing is pretty cool.
We can all start to accept each other for who they are - talents and faults. And the other really important thing is to always give and love without expecting anything in return. Of course if you are generous and kind, those things will ultimately come back to you. But you can never expect them. Because at the moment you are kind and generous, the recipient may not have it in them to be kind and generous back.
Always give without the expectation of receiving it back.
Marilyn
"Make dirt, not war." eyo
I bow to your wisdom
For some of us, the world has moved on without us. I too was brought up among strong women. My mother graduated from nursing school straight into the Army, in a WW2 mobile surgical hospital in Europe. Her little sister graduated high school studying secretarial skills and business and ended up in Washington at the War Dept. A big deal for kids that hadn't been more than 40 miles from home. My Mother-in-law was starting her Residency at the out break of the war, at Bellvue in the E.R. These are the women that taught me, us, how to treat girls, women. It may be antiquated and in some ways insulting today, but then at least it was a way to be, that you felt you were doing the right thing.
But things move on. You put your head down and try to cope with life's changes. On life's highway you take the local streets for a while, and when you get back on the highway, nothings familiar. The internet shows you the world weeks before the TV news, information is fact fluid. Women are routinely disrespected, POC are murdered by police, there is no community anywhere anymore. Friends were actually people you knew, could touch.
So now what? a life experience re-education camp, to repudiate the life we lived? Or back to our niches to reinforce what we already believe? I guess the only thing I really know is that eventually, for all of us, the world will move on.
Now I bow to your wisdom
I don't know what to do about it. There are 3 teens in our household who have only known this new reality. They are at the edge of life tip-toing their way in.
I don't know what to tell them.
Marilyn
"Make dirt, not war." eyo
I have no idea
The advice my parents gave me growing up doesn't work. Get an education seems to work sometimes, if you go to the right schools, have the right network. Sometimes all I come up with is emigrate, if you can. As a nation we've lost security in our daily living, our community, and the faith in our leaders to lead. There's times when we put our heads down and focus on family,kids growing up, parents dying, job losses and when we finally put our heads up things have gotten worse. I just don't know.
One day at a time is all I know how to do . . .
We have homeschooled because of dyslexia, so the kids have been with us. Two are 18 (one is an unofficial foster child) living at home going to community college, one is 16. I don't feel compelled to push them out of the house. Too bad the teaching profession has gone to hell. That used to be a decent choice. Don't see the feasibility of emigrating, although at one time I was looking into the rules for Norwegian emigration since 2 grandparents were born there. Well, and I started http://nowthepathforward.us to hopefully find some answers.
Wishing you a nice holiday.
Marilyn
"Make dirt, not war." eyo
And a good holiday to you, and well, everyone.
Cool women who raised you
Great stories to cherish.
Marilyn
"Make dirt, not war." eyo
How sad that you feel that way
My spouse and I are each other's best friends and confidantes. We know each other better than any other person on the planet; in some ways better than ourselves even. Perhaps it helps that we don't view each other merely as vessels of testosterone and estrogen?
To have you admit that you cannot register on a basic human level with any man - let alone your husband! - because of this singular chemical distinction is incredible, and so disheartening, to me. Why bother forging a relationship at all with something you consider so... alien?
But hey, in the spirit of Believing All Women for their unfailing commitment to The Truth, I guess I'll accept your word that understanding is "impossible." That being the case, I can probably give up on listening...
Hmmm ...
Thanks for your reply. Guess that does sound pretty extreme. Vessels of estrogen and testosterone. Yikes!
Glad for you guys that you are confidants. That's cool.
We have that ... sort of. It's peaceful and supportive and affectionate. More so than most I know. But this is Texas. I don't think he has ever witnessed what you have.
Terrible to paint Texas that way. It's all this phony religion and the phony roles men and women are supposed to play. It seems to infect everything.
Marilyn
"Make dirt, not war." eyo
well, other than the fact that this is b*&(%$$%t...
Glad you didn't mention the good old days when some people knew their place.
First of all, walking on the street side (which I still do...usually) does not mean that a man wasn't going to try to find some "Spanish Fly" for later enjoyment.
But all those things you list, including holding doors, carrying packages, etc. were never "trashed", which tends to weaken your argument. There would be an occasional "no thank you" or a look of disapproval for holding a door open but over the years it's all come back as a normal thing.
These so-called "cads" were there then, doing the same things they're doing now. Not in public? Pinching was public. Suggestive comments were public. Your point that behavior like that is now tolerated is inaccurate. Public harassment is dealt with *more* now than back then.
The last bit of your post here is especially odd. Women are not trying to be men. They'd like equal opportunity and not be talked down to.
More later...
This sums it up for me.
We'd also like to be acknowledged when we are smarter than the man in the same job area.
Yaldabaoth, Saklas I'm calling you. Samael. You're not alone. I said, you're not alone, in your darkness. You're not alone, baby. You're not alone. "Original Sinsuality" Tori Amos
Pointy bras, girdles and high heels?
The last paragraph. Maybe he's upset that we get to wear pants, and don't have to be cinched and bound all day, as we vacuum and cook in high heels, for Ward and The Beaver.
Maybe it's because we're allowed to own stuff, and have bank accounts in our own names. Maybe because a woman slapping a man is no longer socially acceptable (thank goodness).
I hold doors for people (people not just females), same as I was taught to hold branches while hiking, so as not to smack the person coming up or down the trail behind me in the face. I also, always say thank you when it's done for me, be they male or female.
I'm still gobsmacked at how common decency is being fought so hard, especially on this site. It's bizarre. Why does it matter the gender, when considering how to treat others? Why does it matter what a person wears? I should stop being surprised, but I haven't yet.
Treat everyone with decency . . .
That is it.
Marilyn
"Make dirt, not war." eyo
especially horse
"For man, woman, child, or horse! Especially horse!" was the rule I learned growing up....
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
Like this horse? ;)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sihuanaba
horse
Or even a horse with no name.....
[video:https://youtu.be/2naehMUQpQY]
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
Just a reminder....
I don't want to you to think I'm picking on you, I just want to point this out.
Insults here can be personal and can also be directed at a group (as in a group of c99p members). This fits that description:
Now the folks that that is pointed at know who they are and may take offense with it, and may come back with an insulting reply of their own, and off we go. See how that works.
All I ask is that you think a little before pushing the save button.
Thank you, Shah~~
if only folks would stop trying to take us back in time instead of moving us forward in time. Your comment and Deja's describe exactly as I feel. Marilyn's too.
Let's all be respectful and in line with our humanity to one another. It's the only way.
"The “jumpers” reminded us that one day we will all face only one choice and that is how we will die, not how we will live." Chris Hedges on 9/11
Nostalgia
Nostalgia is a sentimental view of the past, hence never correct. However, it does make for a great rhetorical tool.
Hitler used it.
Trump used it.
This musical assumed business execs sleep with their secretaries
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Succeed_in_Business_Without_Really_...
The respective roles of women and men in corporate culture of that era? The musical’s logo already says it all.
Gross.
I am struggling, in the spirit of the learning experience we've all very recently participated in, to weigh in on this essay without blowing a gasket. I have already written and deleted several responses that I recognized, thankfully, as not being constructive.
Here's what I will say: I would ask that you examine the portion of your first sentence that I bolded and italicized, and comment on why you think it's a boy's responsibility to look after the well-being of females? Further, is it possible, in your mind, that females don't need looking after?
Thank you!
Story time:
I had a little, yellow '73 Opal GT when I was 16. One night, I drove into town, and was nearly hit because when I pulled onto the highway, my car didn't do what it normally did. It coughed and sputtered, and barely moved. I made it to my friend's house.
At the friend's house, I asked for a flashlight, and popped the hood. Daddy had taught me that when troubleshooting, check all connections first. So, that's what I did. Found a spark plug wire was completely off the distributor cap. It was not too easy getting it back on, but I managed. I also checked the others, but couldn't even pull any of them off - so I knew it just didn't vibrate off the cap. Car performance was returned to normal.
The next day, I told my dad about it. He admitted to doing it to see if I could figure it out myself or if I'd ask a man, like the woman where he worked had done that Friday, of him.
However, had my dad not taught me about flat tires, driving on ice, troubleshooting, fire arms, electricity, among other things, oh - and that most car repair requires loud cursing and occasional hurling of tools through the air, I would have had to ask a man, probably him. Luckily, the most important man in my life at that time taught me things so I wouldn't be dependent on anyone else when it came to certain things.
I sure miss that ornery old fart!
Great story!
Thanks for sharing it.
I wish I'd learned your skills. Neither of my parents had them to pass on, lol!
Oh, I just need to stay civil and therefore change my words
I think this essay I didn't necessarily need right now. Frankly, it somehow insults my intelligence.
But of course, I behave, and just say "oh yeah, the good 'ol times, when everybody knew their place and knew to never step out of it./s
https://www.euronews.com/live
Now that you've blown off steam
about the way the world no longer works the way it did when you were a kid, would you be open to a mild suggestion?
Treating other people with respect and courtesy should be gender-neutral. (And everything-else neutral as well.) I figured out for myself that men needn't have a monopoly on "chivalry" or whatever you want to call it, and there was no reason I couldn't be "chivalrous" too. If I get to the door first, I hold it for whoever is next. If someone holds it for me, I smile and thank them.
The "sidewalk rules" are obsolete - did you know they date from a time when commodes were routinely emptied out the upstairs window and whoever was closer to the street was likely to get a disgusting shower? We don't do that any more. People don't drive their buggies full-tilt down the street any more, either, and the curb is likely to be filled with a line of cars (they get splashed, not the pedestrians). It no longer matters who's on which side of the sidewalk.
Much of the rest is just good common sense - and gender-neutral. (What, you think boys were the only ones required to look out for younger kids? Yarite....)
There is no justice. There can be no peace.
Thanks for introducing this aspect!
(Hah! Finally remembered to add a title!) You make some very good and valid points in your essay, particularly considering the way in which American society (along with many others) evolved (and have currently devolved) and I hope you don't mind if I add my perceptions to yours, because I generally do so anyway, lol.
I'd agree with you on the alteration of societal standards, and suggest that an overarching issue resulting in the current situation also has to do with the infiltration of psychopathic elements into government and complicit media, working toward the increasing pathologization of society, so that a lack of consideration for others - entire groups being 'othered' and on a continuing basis, to maintain/increase existing divisions and 'competitive/other-suppressive lowest classes' by race/gender/religion/monetary worth - was an early result.
How else could a meritocracy, ultimately revealed as wealth-power-based, come to be accepted by the very populations poisoned, manipulated and drained to feed the pathological greed of those inflicting this indoctrination?
When the old social mores and any degree of even condescending consideration for those more vulnerable was removed, rather than being replaced by a more inclusive general consideration for others based on intrinsic human worth, it was being replaced, so far as was possible within a varied population of individuals, by the influence of a mindset defining psychopathy, one devoid of empathy, conscience or ethics.
Does anyone remember a massive influx of 'insult' TV shows in the 1970s? or 1980s? (Not sure about the levels of re-runs, especially as those types of shows didn't much appeal to me and I didn't watch that much TV; I don't like meanness in comedy, either.) Where at least some TV-watching people adopted the notion that that it was cool and humorous to react to/create all sorts of situations with inventive insults directed at even perfect strangers? They weren't reacting to what was actually going on around them, they were acting a role they thought made them look cool - and not even absorbing the fact that they were speaking to actual people.
I'd been watching the effects of this phenomena for some time, and even had one silly jerk arrive at a small party, firing off insults at literally everyone there, either off the cuff or in response to literally everything, later trying to ask me out!
I kept a straight face, said something about my being surprised that he'd bother speaking with someone like me, quoting back an insult he'd directed at me from across the room - with him desperately insisting that he'd never have said anything like that to me (as though I was somehow more special than others, lol,) and never getting the fact that he'd said the same sort of insulting things to everyone there - because he wasn't looking at us at all as human beings, we were all just figures for his 'ultimate coolness' and egotism, which he apparently thought showed him to be above us all. Rather Trump-like, isn't it?
That was my first remembered experience of mass media manipulation, although not recognized as such at the time, even if I did have concerns regarding the damage that it was doing to society in normalizing rude and contemptuous treatment of others, in shows aimed at the adolescent still learning appropriate social behaviours (not that that occurred to me at the time) but even though these shows and much of the exhibited behaviour died off, I suspect that some of the acquired callousness likely lingered.
And the same with the effects of other propagandized 'trends' now, although I effectively quit watching TV decades ago, almost never get out, and tend to get information on these at second hand, generally from what my roommate's have watched (generally apocalyptic scenarios or brutal 'Justice' shows, as far as I can tell from the perpetual violence I hear when unavoidable, and the odd bit of propaganda 'news') - while my oldest and 'bestest' friend ever and I now no longer seem to agree on various topics, as we once did. and she increasingly doesn't want to hear - and will shut down - anything different than what she thinks at the moment which is the saddest and scariest part.
Most of the people here seem to watch little or no TV - could this be our defining feature?
Have not yet read the thread and will, as usual, probably discover that the point I'm trying to make has already been much better made, lol.
Edited for the traditional letter-typo and also a word change where a sentence (mostly) had been altered, lol. Anything else can stand as An Awful Warning To Other Unwary Typists.
Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.
A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.
Thank you for them kind words, Ellen North.
Psychopathology is certainly at the center of things these days as we seem to be working through the other end of something that started 2,000 years ago. In those days, it was thought of as "possession" and "demons". Nowadays, we use the words "psychosis" and "complexes". Samie-same. We seem to be going to school on projecting our shadows both individually and collectively. It's a trip to watch it online.
Don't Give Me That "Good old days" Bullshit
This is some serious rape apologist, victim blaming, bullshit right here. A great steaming pile of it. First of all, most of the "chivalry" to which you refer developed as part of male dominance, not to protect women. Men walk on the right, not to protect women from being splashed, but because medieval knights (where chivalry came from) wanted their right hand free for their sword. Those same knights let "their women" - yes, they legally owned them, like you own your dog - walk through doorways first in case of ambush. Blaming feminists for rape culture and chronic male misbehavior is some rank shit and someone needs to call you out on it. This is NOT OKAY. Free speech and whatnot, post whatever kind of crap you want, but this is crap. Did you know it was legal for a man to rape his wife whenever he wanted until 1994? Nineteen fucking ninety four. Until that court decision, a woman had no right to say no to her husband. Good old days, my ass. Only a man could write drivel this vacuous.
Edited for grammar corrections.
Thank you, rachael7, for taking the time to respond.
As you did, several other respondents stated that I am living in the past. If so, then I am not the only one. The sorts of things that you responded with got really popular back in the '70s and it is significant, or so I believe, that they are still just as energized now as they were then. Same ol' cant, same ol' vitriol, same ol' historysplaining, same ol' guilt tripping all bolstered by events and anecdotes from twenty-thirty years ago. I wish that I could categorically deny all of the caricatures aimed my way in these responses, but, sadly, I cannot. While I cannot change my history, I can say that I am making an effort to redeem the negativity that I am aware of. I sincerely hope the we both can get beyond where we are right now.