Young and transgender

When I wrote yesterday about a transgender child who was being mistreated by a Chicago-area hospital, I was not surprised to encounter a comment questioning the reality of young transgender children. It is a not-infrequent occurrence.

People who are not transgender have a difficult time understanding an issue that is so far from their own existence. That's why people who are different have such a hard time trying to fit into our society.

I can talk about my existence until I am blue in the face, but it will never be information that you can own. And I'm going to be 69-years old in 28 days, so my memories of my life as a 4- or 5-year-old are fairly faint at this time. Mostly what I can remember is that my favorite playmates were Carol Duddleston and Lloyce Sefton and Kathy McGuire and Lisa Summers. And that being transgender was not yet a thing as far as a kid my age was concerned.

HBO's Vice News Tonight is now showing Trans Youth. We don't actually get HBO with our cable service...or if we do, I have no idea what channel it is, but the 30-minute show has been shared on youtube. I especially hope that people who are struggling with the existence kids identifying as transgender at a very young age take a look.

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gay or a gender other the one assigned to them when they were four or five or "as long as I can remember." (I don't remember much before I was four, so I tend to think that last description is as good as any.)

I don't know what that is like for a four year-old, but I know I believe they knew.

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daughter (now) is trans gender. One of the things we've talked about between the two of us is how mutable, in some ways, gender can be in humans. While this child currently identifies as female, there's been confusion even on her part as to how that works. Her mother is doing what she can to accommodate and advocate for her, so at least this kid has that in her corner.

You make an excellent point how anyone who's not been there really cannot "understand" what that feels like though.

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Only a fool lets someone else tell him who his enemy is. Assata Shakur

PriceRip's picture

          Brain function development follows a general pattern with individual exceptions. Some individuals are confused into their twenties by issues that are well settled by another individuals at much younger ages. The variation between individuals is so large that applying general trends to a particular person will more often lead you astray than be a good guide.

          Did, that make any sense?

          I recently ended my sixtieth consecutive year in the classroom. Sometime in the k-4 or 5 segment I figured out that I was surrounded by individuals. No two people were the same in anyway but superficially. I have never understood the "lumpers" as I have always been a "splitter" and just don't understand how "lumpers" think.

          I hope that made more sense.

          I have known some self-actualized five year olds as well as some college age individuals that don't know what they want to be when they grow up.

          We are the same age, but my memories are (in some cases) far too clear. I have always been very aware of who I am, and what options were available. So, while I do not have this particular "problem" I very much own it, and please know that the stories you highlight are very real to me.

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I dont take somebodys facebook post to be a credible source,do you have anymore documentation that this really happened besides a facebook page?Also you wrote that somebody had questioned your theory about 4 and 5 year olds ability to know they are trans and I read the comments and NOBODY wrote anything close to that.You have a duty to be correct when you write articles

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DW

Granma's picture

@LEFTYFRIZZLE likely did so via private message. Only the author would see that.

Children 4 or 5 might not know the word transgender, but they know what they want to play with, how they want their hair, what sort of clothes and colors of clothes they want to wear. And positively, they know what name or nickname they want to be called.

So if you have a boy wanting all girl toys, clothes, etc, preferring to play with girls, that can be transgender, even if that child has never heard that word and hasn't a clue what it means.

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TheOtherMaven's picture

@Granma
Either they are willfully obtuse, or willfully inflammatory - and neither one is conducive to a reasoned discussion.

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There is no justice. There can be no peace.

CS in AZ's picture

@Granma

I don't click there anymore, but I know Robyn cross-posts there, and we often get responses posted here to things that happened over there.

I'd also just say, in my view boys and girls are not defined by their toys, clothing, or hair. This kinda drives me nuts. I was what used to be called a "tomboy" as a kid. I *hated* dresses and girly clothes, I wore jeans, and I played sports. I wanted "boy toys" for Christmas, like the year I asked for a battery-powered car racing track. I had no interest in the Easy Bake oven or dolls. Fortunately, I was allowed to be me - a girl who wasn't "typical" or traditional. Kids often go through phases where they want a new name. I did, for awhile I asked to be called by a different name and told my mom I wanted to change my name; it was not about gender. It was because someone at school made fun of my real name. I eventually got over it.

I have a coworker now who has a young son who loves the color pink, likes his long curls, and loves to paint his fingernails and toenails with glitter nail polish. His mom is cool with that, she thinks it's rather adorable, and she doesn't tell him that only girls are allowed to do things like that. She said if he grows up to identify as gay or trans, she's fine with that, but she isn't pushing him in any direction, just letting him be himself right now. He's 6. She thought he'd give it up due to peer pressure when he started school, but he now wears the glitter polish to school and apparently no one even cares. How excellent.

I'm in favor of individuality and breaking the gender boundaries around what girls/women and boys/men are allowed to do, what they can wear, what toys they can play with, what jobs they can have, etc. To me the whole concept of boys' and girls' toys, colors, clothes, hair, etc is ridiculous. All kids should be able to explore and enjoy and play without anyone telling them that such things actually define who they are. And adults too. I know a guy who loves to wear a wrap-around sari as a skirt. He goes out in them, says "it's comfortable and fun" and couldn't care less if men aren't supposed to wear such things. I love that about him.

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Granma's picture

@CS in AZ One of the things I loved about the pre-school/daycare my grandsons went to was that when I went to pick them up, I might find them in a pink tu-tu or a feather boa, etc. There were no expectations from the people who worked there about which toys or dress-up clothes any of the kids could play with. All of the kids loved the play kitchen.

I wish all young children had the freedom to experiment as much as they like. Bravo for your co-worker and her child.

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@LEFTYFRIZZLE I publish at more than one site.

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enhydra lutris's picture

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

Your answer you post at other sites doesnt fly.If your going to write articles on this board you have the responsibility to make sure they are the truth.You are no better than Trump and his insane tweets,just throw it out there and hope it sticks.Is this board just one of your dumping sites for FAKE news?I know folks think this board is just a place to go after they have been throw off of DKO and look on this place as a step down,This board is better than that and shouldnt be somewhere you just dump articles that are not true.

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DW