I take great pride in presenting to our sophisticated readers, knowledgable in the occult arts of Politics, a new discovery achieved at A.U. School of Medicine

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Pardon the repetition, but clarification must now be made between the familiar TDS type 1, which was simply named TDS before TDS type 2 was discovered.

TDS, type 1 is a chronic affliction, having been present at least 3 years. However, this disorder (which I remind you is now TDS type 1) is cause of intermittent, often unpredictable flare-ups. The affected patient, which we must so call them. because TDS type 1 IS A DISEASE. A characteristic TDS-1 is that many of its sufferers also have agnose agnosia. Stated in lay terms, and there are positive aspects of "lay" which must not be overlooked, this form of agnosia (= cluelessness) means that the victim is unaware of his/her/its malady. Thus, TDS-1 sufferers are cluelessly clueless. Which means that such individuals have to help across the street, placed on potty chairs, or otherwise cared for to prevent harming him/her/it.

Until TDS-2 was discovered, which does overlap to some degree TDS-1, it was sufficient to say that the powers of observation residual in such patients is severely diminished. Acoustic impairment ( = deafness) is common because many TDS-1 patients find solace in echo chamber music. Imagine the magnificence of David Brock conducting the DNC Philharmonic in Concerto for Hillary and Bassoons, written by Donna Brazile. Such performances as that would likely render sane persons raving mad--or just plain angry.

So reviewing TDS-1, it is apparent that the sufferers are deaf, paranoid and clueless. Their only music is monotone--nary a good Chantsong amongst them. The current TDS-1 chart topper is "Ukraine, nurturer of rich Amerikan Children". Admittedly the title is clumsy--but what does one expect from TDS-1 sufferers?

Digression (or footnote in the middle of the text where no decent footnote belongs): the previous big TDS-1 hit was simply called "RussiaRussiaRussia", words and music by Rachel Madcow.

By now, many of you have got the picture, whilst many other others have gone on to better things.

Through diligence, keen senses, delicate measuring devices AUMC clinicians and researchers discovered a relatively newer version of TDS, called, stunningly, TDS-2. This disorder develops after a longer incubation period than TDS-1. But the effects can be just as mind-numbing. Furthermore TDS-2 is accompanied by soul numbing, if the patient possessed one prior to infestation.

By now, the many reading will have deduced the true nature of TDS-2: quite simply put (as it must be) TDS-2 = Tulsi Derangement Syndrome. An entire segment of the Fourth Estate has been afflicted for likely 3 years. The seriousness of the disorder was likely not fully appreciated until about 4 months ago when H. Rodent Clinton, during one of HER delusional rants, became convinced that Russians have taken possession of Tulsi's soul. But what would this giant Rodent know about souls anyway?

Like TDS-1, TDS-2 is incurable. The senses, including that of equilibrium, are disrupted. Hyperstimulation of the hypocrisy center of the brain, located somewhere between the amygdala and hypothalamus, results in paralytic fits, sometimes accompanied by mouth frothing and wild finger-pointing. Coughing is occasionally noted (e.g. H.R.C. 2016 campaign speeches).

Symptoms of TDS-2 are remarkable in that the DNA of the causative type-2 agent is vastly different than that of TDS-1 causative agent. Yet the outward manifestations of both types is similar. Final common pathway for political stupidity perhaps.

Here's music good for what ails ya. Full refunds if not satisfied. Please address complaints to AUMS.

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=le3WNCGRcas]

Signed, your humble gator, AE