The Rabbit Hole

As I frequently do I found an intriguing link over at Naked Capitalism about the mysterious Alice Donovan (not that Alice Donovan is a trending subject, just that I often find interesting links there).

To summarize briefly for those who don't recognize the name she's a quite obscure writer with limited output recently cited by the Washington Post as a foot soldier in the vast Russian Cyberwarfare/Troll conspiracy (for which, don't get me wrong, there is now at least some evidence while initially we were simply supposed to accept it on good faith from the same Agencies that brought us the Gulf of Tonkin, you could look it up).

The semi-mainstream site that most frequently published her unsolicited and unpaid contributions was Counterpunch who recently conducted an investigation into whether she is real or not, a Turing Test.

It's fascinating reading and the only verdict they firmly reach is that she's a serial plagiarist. I often quote extensively, a habit I learned from digby, but I'm always careful to meticulously document it. This may push the boundaries of fair use but my purpose is entirely educational and I never accept any money.

On the other hand, since I'm firmly committed to publishing psuedonymously it occasionally occurs to me that there are those who may doubt my reality at all, let alone that I'm 120+ years old. As I always say, do the math. Mid thirties? 1926? Cynical, insolent, and flippant? I own my character.

A thing I don't do is appeal to authority. You have no reason to believe me at all. I instead propose the Scientific Method- are my results repeatable? Draw your own conclusions.

That said, my readers have no excuse to intrude on my personal life. Once someone burns a Cross on your lawn the kerosene never comes out and you have to re-sod (a fun prank is to mix up some Miracle-Gro and yellow food color in a squeeze bottle and write something rude in the snow, they can shovel it off but next Spring it comes back).

I would think my style sufficiently distinctive to distinguish me though I have adopted others specifically for socking and been remarkably successful and undetected. This is the closest to my true voice- vain, arrogant, and condescending.

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES! I'm more Alan than ELIZA. How does that make you feel?

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Oh, I also have a peculiar sense of humor.

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riverlover's picture

Tax bill receipts? DL and passport? Are we all virtual except to the IRS?

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

@riverlover The laziest is simply to post under your real name. I could, but it would be useless- I'm far more notorious as ek than I ever was as a human.

But the other ways are consistency of writing style and posting history, as well as multiple social media accounts (I don't Twit and my Facebook persona is a sock, good luck with that).

They suggest a utility bill. With my name and address on it?! Look, I admit I'm kind of stupid but not that kind.

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@riverlover I'm not joking about that at all. And crossing the border in Stockton costume? The shirt was different and the mirrored shades darker. I didn't even have to take them off.

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riverlover's picture

@ek hornbeck At our northern border, passports out, shades off. Rabies vaccine records as well (they never asked for mine, and I was a human vaccinee). I rarely wear shades now, driving only in the Interior Heartland (gag).

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

@riverlover I'm mostly harmless.

Mostly.

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Meteor Man's picture

This was buried near the end of the long Counterpunch article:

Whatever was going on here, it was nothing to rival the CIA’s own grand manipulations of the press in the 1950s and 1960s, where it once had as many as 200 journalists and editors doing the Agency’s bidding. They called it Operation Mockingbird, an idea conceived in the early 1950s by the CIA’s Frank Wisner and his best friend, Phil Graham, publisher of the Washington Post. The Operation Mockingbird writers were two-way players. These journalists wrote CIA-approved stories and they also spied for the Agency while on assignment overseas, sharing their notes, impressions and photographs with their CIA handlers back in Langley. Some of the news organizations actually allowed CIA operatives to work as reporters in the field. The

This was the first time I heard of this CIA operation:

New York Times, Carl Bernstein reported in 1977, “provided cover for about 10 CIA operatives between 1950 and 1966.” Similarly, the CIA also recruited journalists to actively work for the Agency as operatives. In 1973, CIA director William Colby admitted that the agency had “some three dozen” reporters on the “agency’s payroll.” Most of these operations were conducted with the consent of the publications’ publishers and top editors, including Bill Paley at CBS, Arthur Sulzberger at the New York Times and Henry Luce at TIME.

This joint operation of espionage and propaganda extended until at least the mid-1970s and probably much longer. Under intense pressure from Langley, the final report of the Senate Church Hearings into CIA domestic spying buried their own explosive findings about the true nature of the Agency’s cozy relationship with the press. And the papers and magazines, who well knew the truth, never told their millions of readers that many of their stories through the Cold War had been secretly approved, if not written, by the CIA.

Is there any way of knowing whether or not the CIA is up to it's old tricks? Here's the link from eh's essay again about the curious case of Alice Donovan:

https://www.counterpunch.org/2017/12/25/go-ask-alice-the-curious-case-of...

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"They'll say we're disturbing the peace, but there is no peace. What really bothers them is that we are disturbing the war." Howard Zinn

@Meteor Man But then I'd have to kill you.

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Meteor Man's picture

@ek hornbeck @ek hornbeck
I will choose to remain breathing in a state of blissful ignorance of the possibility that the CIA generates fake news with the assistance of MSM publishers.

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"They'll say we're disturbing the peace, but there is no peace. What really bothers them is that we are disturbing the war." Howard Zinn

Pricknick's picture

@Meteor Man
I too choose to do so.
I picked a great week to go off lsd.

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Regardless of the path in life I chose, I realize it's always forward, never straight.

Shahryar's picture

"the vast Russian Cyberwarfare/Troll conspiracy (for which, don't get me wrong, there is now at least some evidence...)"

I always find myself asking "what are the Russians supposed to have done?" Unacceptable answers are "they influenced the election" or "they hacked the election" or "they helped Trump". Those are nothing answers. So what, exactly, did they do?

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@Shahryar It's not really so much what Russia did (which was act in their own self interest, something all nation states do) as what Trump and his team did, which was obstruct justice (he confessed on national television for goodness' sake), violate the emoluments clause (still happening), launder money from criminal enterprises (pretty much proven also), violate a raft of election and neutrality laws (might be litigated but I'd indict), and lie under oath (you know, those signatures at the bottom of the forms are testimony).

And that's just the superficial stuff.

I think there's a pretty clear case for impeachment unless you think the only "high crime and misdemeanor" is a consensual blowjob by an intern (admittedly skeezy but defining "is" is the kind of thing lawyers make their money from).

Now does Hillary have her own baggage? Sure. Fairly clear that she and the DNC jobbed Bernie in the primaries (don't let Wasserman-Schultz and Brazille off the hook either) but the email and Libya or for that matter Uranium One and the Foundation are a big nothingburger of distraction and obfuscation.

Now be careful what you wish for. To dump Trump and not take out Pence and Ryan at the same time doesn't serve my (and I assume your) interests. The beauty part of The Donald is he's an ineffective fool. His policies are pure Republican orthodoxy and objectively terrible.

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Shahryar's picture

@ek hornbeck

Trump obstructed justice. By ....?
violated the emoluments clause. Well he wasn't made a Russian nobleman so it must be "received gifts". Like....?
Laundered money. No doubt. He's a crook.
violated election laws. Like took a bullhorn to a polling place and campaigned? Something like that? If something else, what?
Lied under oath. No doubt. He's a liar.

But basically you've listed general assertions, which is, as far as I've seen, all we've heard about "Russiagate". If we're dropping the Russian angle, which you brought up but ok, we'll drop it, we're left with Trump being a crook and a liar, which he is and which isn't generally something leading to impeachment. After all, Nancy took it off the table with Bush Jr. and nobody took it seriously with Obama.

Unless there's something like "he did [name the crime]" you can't expect any action.

As for Hillary, I notice you're dismissive of everything she did, calling all of those things which are as crooked as Trump "nothingburgers". She had a private server and deleted 30,000 emails, claiming they were personal. And that's ok? let's say 6 years of having the server...that's 2191 days. So about 15 "personal" emails a day. I believe, as Secretary of State, she wrote a lot of emails but as a private citizen? Do you send out 15 emails a day to your friends? So maybe it's questionable, which makes it NOT a nothingburger. Some kind of deal in the Ukraine...that's a nothingburger but an unnamed action by Trump (who's a crook and a liar) is impeachment-worthy? Large donations to the Clinton Foundation that have dried up now that she's lost the election and that doesn't concern you? You don't make the connection between those donations and "having influence"? Does this mean the speeches to Wall Street bankers is also a nothingburger? But Trump (crook/liar) is going to or should be impeached because he "violated a raft" of elections laws? That aren't listed?

What I'm saying is that if anyone is going to impeach Trump there can't be assertions, there must be specifics. If anyone says Russia interfered there must be specifics.

For the record, the statement (unproven but definitely stated!) is that Russians (not necessarily the Russian government) spent $150,000 on Facebook ads against Hillary. Compared to the $1,200,000,000 that the DNC spent on Hillary's behalf, which is 8,000 times the alleged Russian expenditure and yet the Russians tipped the balance. As if no one notices the raw vote was still in Hillary's favor, just as the pollsters predicted, but lopsided because she forgot or decided not to campaign in Wisconsin and Michigan. As if the Russians caused that.

Anyway, specify. What did the Russians do? They didn't hack the voting results. My opinion is they had zero effect. What has Trump done? Probably a lot and that's where the focus can be....if it's specific.

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@Shahryar And Mar-el-Lago. Emoluments proven. He filed false papers (ones in which he and his campaign lied) to the FEC. There's your election law violations.

Like you I discount the idea that any "fake news" or propaganda distributed by Facebook or Twitter had a material influence on the outcome of the election except to the extent that the mainstream media is a bunch of idiot stenographers. That's on them.

Ditto my dismissal of Russian actions. They're a sovereign nation, of course they did that, we and everyone else do too- not material.

About Hillary- 15 emails a day, both sent and received, is not unusual. Do I get that many? No, but I'm a Luddite. The fact she used a personal server? Litigious, but I'd doubt you get a conviction because of technicalities. Ask The Donald how using the GAO provided tools is working out.

Donations to the Clinton Foundation have not dried up and is Hillary a Neoliberal tool and her Bankster speeches deeply corrupt? Sure, no argument from me.

Nancy Pelosi is an accessory after the fact to War Crimes and should suffer the rest of her life in prison (not a big fan of the death penalty). She looks likely to repeat that with Trump and should be defeated in 2018 regardless of the cost.

I too think the Russians a lame excuse for more fundamental failures by the Democratic Party and don't quite understand where we disagree except on minor details. I think as you do the focus should be on Trump, Pence, and Ryan and their crimes and complicity, but there is no doubt impeachable acts were committed. Russians are Russians, I'm moderately disturbed they could potentially use their knowledge of this Administration's crimes to compromise our National Security but it's not my primary concern.

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@Shahryar He told Lester Holt on fucking national television he fired Comey to shut down the investigation of Flynn!

Case closed.

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Shahryar's picture

@ek hornbeck

and everyone knows it except the thumping-est of bible thumpers.

Even when he accidentally tells the truth he's lying.

Anyway, wonderful to see you here. I've been away for almost the whole year, it seems so it's almost disturbing to return and, at the same time, see you and hecate and jvolvo and jekyllnhyde. It's not like we were all hanging out at the city dump (that's dkos) and were excommunicated and needed a new gathering place. But here we are.

This Russia malarkey is my hot button. It gets pushed and I get hot!

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edg's picture

@ek hornbeck

Nothing about Flynn.

In an interview with NBC's Lester Holt, Trump said he planned on firing Comey regardless of what Rosenstein recommended. And he suggested the Russia investigation was a reason behind the dismissal. "When I decided to [fire Comey], I said to myself, I said you know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made up story."

Source: Trump Interview With Lester Holt: President Asked Comey If He Was Under Investigation

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@edg So Flynn was not the object of the conversations Trump had with Comey where Trump specifically said that Comey should go easy on Flynn? He was not the object of Yates' warning that Flynn personally was vulnerable to blackmail by the Russian FSB?

Hmm...

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edg's picture

@ek hornbeck

Bullshit and propaganda are unwelcome here. Either stick to the facts and document your claims or stop making them. It's simple, really.

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@edg And who are you to make such threats exactly?

I've been banned from much tonier places and I think I'm not the one with a reality problem here.

Why so confrontational? Do you really think Trump should remain in office? If so, why?

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Deja's picture

@ek hornbeck
I didn't read any threats.

I read that your unsubstantiated propaganda is "unwelcome here."

I, for one, don't want the idiot in chief impeached and removed from office because Pence will bring on his bible thumping Armageddon. And frankly, if W and Cheny, et al, Dronebama and Killary, et al, can't be tried for war crimes, not to mention ripping off the public and kicking the global economy in the balls, then Trump shouldn't be tried for unsubstantiated bullshit. He's an idiotic ogre, but that's not a crime.

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Bollox Ref's picture

HRC will begin blaming Alice Donovan for her election loss.

With a special addendum for 'What Happened'.

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Gëzuar!!
from a reasonably stable genius.

@Bollox Ref Neoliberalism is like Conservatism that way. It can't fail, it can only be failed.

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Wink's picture

any of your references I just take it on faith that you're old. As for how it makes me feel, it doesn't, pretty much mox nix.

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the little things you can do are more valuable than the giant things you can't! - @thanatokephaloides. On Twitter @wink1radio. (-2.1) All about building progressive media.

@Wink I have taken the pledge-

  • To be peculiar in the most unusual way I can cook up
  • To write excellently, or more especially to be known to write excellently
  • To master bards of old and bards anew, or at least never give on that I haven’t
  • To advance in gestures of my own and not in the stirrings of a majority, except where money is at stake
  • To be perceived as morally suspect, no matter what the truth
  • To sniff at adulation and pooh-pooh honors no matter how much I crave them
  • To obey whim and eschew duty, or at least appear to
  • To rove ruffian-like across continents of poems with ease, or at least make them think so
  • To engage in ridiculous arguments, all hot and sweaty for my own position
  • To be judicious only in the judging of my own merits and mean about the others
  • To die young, or if I linger, to be ignored and abused well
  • To write tons of crap for every good poem I do write, and obfuscate the difference with rhetoric
  • To suck up to important editors with honeyed words, and cuff the assistant editors often
  • To bemoan the sorry state of poetry in my country and do not one damn thing about it
  • To speak so incoherently that everyone thinks I am a genius
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SnappleBC's picture

Why on earth would I care who "Alice Donovan" is? If Jehovah appeared in front of me in the form of a burning bush and told me something political or economical I'd want to see externally verifiable evidence. Same goes for Alice.

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A lot of wanderers in the U.S. political desert recognize that all the duopoly has to offer is a choice of mirages. Come, let us trudge towards empty expanse of sand #1, littered with the bleached bones of Deaniacs and Hope and Changers.
-- lotlizard

@SnappleBC "Some people have to have a world of evidence before they can come anywhere in the neighborhood of believing anything; but for me, when a man tells me that he has “seen the engravings which are upon the plates,” and not only that, but an angel was there at the time, and saw him see them, and probably took his receipt for it, I am very far on the road to conviction, no matter whether I ever heard of that man before or not, and even if I do not know the name of the angel, or his nationality either.
...
And when I am far on the road to conviction, and eight men, be they grammatical or otherwise, come forward and tell me that they have seen the plates too; and not only seen those plates but “hefted” them, I am convinced. I could not feel more satisfied."

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@SnappleBC by Mark Twain

The boys used to tell me I ought to get one Jim Blaine to tell me the stirring story of his grandfather’s old ram—but they always added that I must not mention the matter unless Jim was drunk at the time—just comfortably and sociably drunk. They kept this up until my curiosity was on the rack to hear the story. I got to haunting Blaine; but it was of no use, the boys always found fault with his condition; he was often moderately but never satisfactorily drunk. I never watched a man’s condition with such absorbing interest, such anxious solicitude; I never so pined to see a man uncompromisingly drunk before. At last, one evening I hurried to his cabin, for I learned that this time his situation was such that even the most fastidious could find no fault with it—he was tranquilly, serenely, symmetrically drunk—not a hiccup to mar his voice, not a cloud upon his brain thick enough to obscure his memory. As I entered, he was sitting upon an empty powder-keg, with a clay pipe in one hand and the other raised to command silence. His face was round, red, and very serious; his throat was bare and his hair tumbled; in general appearance and costume he was a stalwart miner of the period. On the pine table stood a candle, and its dim light revealed “the boys” sitting here and there on bunks, candle-boxes, powder-kegs, etc. They said:

“Sh—! Don’t speak—he’s going to commence.”

I found a seat at once, and Blaine said:

“I don’t reckon them times will ever come again. There never was a more burlier old ram than what he was. Grandfather fetched him from Illinois—got him of a man by the name of Yates—Bill Yates—maybe you might have heard of him; his father was a deacon—Baptist—and he was a rustler, too; a man had to get up ruther early to get the start of old Thankful Yates; it was him that put the Greens up to jining teams with my grandfather when he moved West. Seth Green was prob’ly the pick of the flock; he married a Wilkerson—Sarah Wilkerson—good cretur, she was—one of the likeliest heifers that was ever raised in old Stoddard, everybody said that knowed her. She could heft a bar’l of flour as easy as I can flirt a flapjack. And spin? Don’t mention it! Independent? Humph! When Sile Hawkins come abrowsing around her, she let him know that for all his tin he couldn’t trot in harness alongside of her. You see, Sile Hawkins was—no, it warn’t Sile Hawkins, after all—it was a galoot by the name of Filkins—I disremember his first name; but he was a stump—come into pra’r meeting drunk, one night, hooraying for Nixon, becuzhe thought it was a primary; and old deacon Ferguson up and scooted him through the window and he lit on old Miss Jefferson’s head, poor old filly. She was a good soul—had a glass eye and used to lend it to old Miss Wagner, that hadn’t any, to receive company in; it warn’t big enough, and when Miss Wagner warn’t noticing, it would get twisted around in the socket, and look up, maybe, or out to one side, and every which way, while t’other one was looking as straight ahead as a spyglass. Grown people didn’t mind it, but it most always made the children cry, it was so sort of scary. She tried packing it in raw cotton, but it wouldn’t work, somehow—the cotton would get loose and stick out and look so kind of awful that the children couldn’t stand it no way. She was always dropping it out, and turning up her old dead-light on the company empty, and making them oncomfortable, becuz she never could tell when it hopped out, being blind on that side, you see. So somebody would have to hunch her and say, ‘Your game eye has fetched loose, Miss Wagner dear’—and then all of them would have to sit and wait till she jammed it in again—wrong side before, as a general thing, and green as a bird’s egg, being a bashful cretur and easy sot back before company. But being wrong side before warn’t much difference, anyway, becuz her own eye was sky-blue and the glass one was yeller on the front side, so whichever way she turned it it didn’t match nohow. Old Miss Wagner was considerable on the borrow, she was. When she had a quilting, or Dorcas S’iety at her house she gen’ally borrowed Miss Higgins’s wooden leg to stump around on, it was considerable shorter than her other pin, but much she minded that. She said she couldn’t abide crutches when she had company, becuz they were so slow; said when she had company and things had to be done, she wanted to get up and hump herself. She was as bald as a jug, and so she used to borrow Miss Jacops’s wig—Miss Jacops was the coffin-peddler’s wife—a ratty old buzzard, he was, that used to go roosting around where people was sick, waiting for ’em; and there that old rip would sit all day, in the shade, on a coffin that he judged would fit the can’idate; and if it was a slow customer and kind of uncertain, he’d fetch his rations and a blanket along and sleep in the coffin nights. He was anchored out that way, in frosty weather, for about three weeks, once, before old Robbins’s place, waiting for him; and after that, for as much as two years, Jacops was not on speaking terms with the old man, on account of his disapp’inting him. He got one of his feet froze, and lost money, too, becuz old Robbins took a favorable turn and got well. The next time Robbins got sick, Jacops tried to make up with him, and varnished up the same old coffin and fetched it along; but old Robbins was too many for him; he had him in, and ‘peared to be powerful weak; he bought the coffin for ten dollars and Jacops was to pay it back and twenty-five more besides if Robbins didn’t like the coffin after he’d tried it. And then Robbins died, and at the funeral he bursted off the lid and riz up in his shroud and told the parson to let up on the performances, becuz he could not stand such a coffin as that. You see he had been in a trance once before, when he was young, and he took the chances on another, cal’lating that if he made the trip it was money in his pocket, and if he missed fire he couldn’t lose a cent. And by George he sued Jacops for the rhino and got jedgment; and he set up the coffin in his back parlor and said he ‘lowed to take his time, now. It was always an aggravation to Jacops, the way that miserable old thing acted. He moved back to Indiany pretty soon—went to Wellsville—Wellsville was the place the Hogadorns was from. Mighty fine family. Old Maryland stock. Old Squire Hogadorn could carry around more mixed licker, and cuss better than most any man I ever see. His second wife was the widder Billings—she that was Becky Martin; her dam was deacon Dunlap’s first wife. Her oldest child, Maria, married a missionary and died in grace—et up by the savages. They et him, too, poorfeller—biled him. It warn’t the custom, so they say, but they explained to friends of his’n that went down there to bring away his things, that they’d tried missionaries every other way and never could get any good out of ’em—and so it annoyed all his relations to find out that that man’s life was fooled away just out of a dern’d experiment, so to speak. But mind you, there ain’t anything ever reely lost; everything that people can’t understand and don’t see the reason of does good if you only hold on and give it a fair shake; Prov’dence don’t fire no blank ca’tridges, boys. That there missionary’s substance, unbeknowns to himself, actu’ly converted every last one of them heathens that took a chance at the barbecue. Nothing ever fetched them but that. Don’t tell me it was an accident that he was biled. There ain’t no such a thing as an accident. When my uncle Lem was leaning up agin a scaffolding once, sick, or drunk, or suthin, an Irishman with a hod full of bricks fell on him out of the third story and broke the old man’s back in two places. People said it was an accident. Much accident there was about that. He didn’t know what he was there for, but he was there for a good object. If he hadn’t been there the Irishman would have been killed. Nobody can ever make me believe anything different from that. Uncle Lem’s dog was there. Why didn’t the Irishman fall on the dog? Becuz the dog would a seen him a-coming and stood from under. That’s the reason the dog warn’t appinted. A dog can’t be depended on to carry out a special providence. Mark my words it was a put-up thing. Accidents don’t happen, boys. Uncle Lem’s dog—I wish you could a seen that dog. He was a reglar shepherd—or ruther he was part bull and part shepherd—splendid animal; belonged to parson Hagar before Uncle Lem got him. Parson Hagar belonged to the Western Reserve Hagars; prime family; his mother was a Watson; one of his sisters married a Wheeler; they settled in Morgan County, and he got nipped by the machinery in a carpet factory and went through in less than a quarter of a minute; his widder bought the piece of carpet that had his remains wove in, and people come a hundred mile to ‘tend the funeral. There was fourteen yards in the piece. She wouldn’t let them roll him up, but planted him just so—full length. The church was middling small where they preached the funeral, and they had to let one end of the coffin stick out of the window. They didn’t bury him—they planted one end, and let him stand up, same as a monument. And they nailed a sign on it and put—put on—put on it—sacred to—the m-e-m-o-r-y—of fourteen y-a-r-d-s—of three-ply—car – – – pet—containing all that was—m-o-r-t-a-l—of—of—W-i-l-l-i-a-m—W-h-e—”

Jim Blaine had been growing gradually drowsy and drowsier—his head nodded, once, twice, three times—dropped peacefully upon his breast, and he fell tranquilly asleep. The tears were running down the boys’ cheeks—they were suffocating with suppressed laughter—and had been from the start, though I had never noticed it. I perceived that I was “sold.” I learned then that Jim Blaine’s peculiarity was that whenever he reached a certain stage of intoxication, no human power could keep him from setting out, with impressive unction, to tell about a wonderful adventure which he had once had with his grandfather’s old ram—and the mention of the ram in the first sentence was as far as any man had ever heard him get, concerning it. He always maundered off, interminably, from one thing to another, till his whisky got the best of him and he fell asleep. What the thing was that happened to him and his grandfather’s old ram is a dark mystery to this day, for nobody has ever yet found out.

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@ek hornbeck I could call it my own except it's so well known. At that it's not his best.

When he ran out of money (which was frequently) he would hit the lecture circuit. In his tour de force he opened a large folder of paper, thumbed through it, raised his arm as if to declaim, then hesitated and thumbed through it again.

He'd do this for an hour or two and retire from the stage to vast applause, having never said a word.

And that's why they call it the Nutmeg State.

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lotlizard's picture

@ek hornbeck  
in today’s dollars, each time, for that “nothingburger” of a speech, because “That’s what they were offering”?

We’ll have to agree to disagree about the salubriousness, or rather the moral dishygienic effect, of one Hillary Rodham Clinton.

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@lotlizard You have to think of it like a Stephen Colbert or Amy Schumer tour. His house in Hartford is fabulous. What he hated was being away from his family, so he didn't do it unless he was skint.

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