Proof that Anyone is a Russian Government Hacker

This is an exercise in syllogistic logic, a method of deductive reasoning where one compares two or more propositions to reach a conclusion. My 1st proposition, A, is this:

Russia hacked the US and and also the French elections.

This has been almost universally proclaimed to be true by the media.

My 2nd proposition, B, which is also based on news reports, says:

The hacks of John Podesta's email account and the DNC were generic and incredibly simple.

The 3rd proposition, C, comes from a report yesterday filed by the Associated Press.

In an interview in his office Thursday with The Associated Press, Guillaume Poupard [head of France's cyber security agency ANSSI] said the Macron campaign hack “was so generic and simple that it could have been practically anyone.”

In other words, proposition C says:

The hack of the French election was so simple and generic it could have been done by anyone.

If propositions A, B and C are all true, that is, Russia hacked the American and French elections, and that those hacks were so generic and simple that anyone could have performed them, than the only logical conclusion one can draw from these statements is that:

Russia is Anyone and Anyone hacked the US and French Elections.

Of course, it could be that Russia was not behind either the hack of the American and/or the French elections. However, we all know that cannot be true. Why? Because The New York Times, The Washington Post and lots and lots of other American corporately owned media outlets (too numerous to mention) are the definitive sources of all truth on this planet, and they all say that Russia was responsible.

So now we know that Russia = Anyone.

I feel better already.

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Comments

Arrow's picture

You caught me!

There's no reason to deny it any longer....I am a Russian Hacker!

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I want a Pony!

PriceRip's picture

....I am a Russian Hacker!

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@PriceRip
Now can't we all get along?

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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

the Macedonians and their highly important role in this enterprise.

Can't stop the Macedonian signal.

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

CB's picture

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal
They run highly sophisticated troll farms paid for by Putin himself.

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dervish's picture

@CB as well, I'm told. I guess this is so because nobody would criticize Her for free?

This from a woman who has had thirty years of criticism (free), and who invented the term "Right-wing Noise Machine". She knows very well that no one needed to be paid to criticize her, and they didn't need to go as far as Macedonia to find people willing to do it.

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"Obama promised transparency, but Assange is the one who brought it."

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@CB Were they run by David Brock too?

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

dervish's picture

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal

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"Obama promised transparency, but Assange is the one who brought it."

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@dervish Poor Erin. Her brother is an asshole!

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

CB's picture

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal

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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@CB @CB They looked a little like this:
davidevilandroid.jpg

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal downright racist to not recognize their role in the US election!

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dfarrah

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@dfarrah ROTFLMAO

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

thanatokephaloides's picture

..... hacked herself, if you apply the contents of this Essay to her! She is therefore exclusively responsible for her own loss in the 2016 Presidential election!


By anonymous medieval illuminator; uploader Carlos adanero [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons source

Smile

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"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar

"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides

Centaurea's picture

I'm a hacker, they're a hacker, we're a hacker, wouldn't you like to be a hacker too?

(Sorry, couldn't resist. That "Pepper" jingle started an earworm in my brain. Crazy )

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"Don't go back to sleep ... Don't go back to sleep ... Don't go back to sleep."
~Rumi

"If you want revolution, be it."
~Caitlin Johnstone

CB's picture

by a trusted informer.

The hacks were done by Megyn Kelly's 3 year old daughter.

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dervish's picture

and hacks revealed were the actual words of people in the DNC and the Hillary campaign. Some were moderately scandalous, but the vast majority were benign. Few would have changed anyone's mind, except possibly those who already held a deep mistrust for Hillary.

I should know, I read nearly all of those e-mails, it took weeks. I spread some of the better ones far and wide, including this site and a dozen or so others. I worked hard at getting the word out. I should get some of the credit for costing Herself the election, more than Putin anyway, who apparently didn't have much to do with it.

In all seriousness though, this line of thought is insane. They aren't saying that any votes were flipped, only that people were persuaded, by truthful information. If that is the standard for "hacking" then any salesperson who concludes a sale is also "hacking". Any political speech, campaign commercial, brochure or ad is "hacking" by definition, so therefore all elections have been hacked, everywhere, since the beginning of time.

If you agree with this, I've hacked you.

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"Obama promised transparency, but Assange is the one who brought it."

lotlizard's picture

@dervish  
are hacking into our minds to rig our innermost thoughts, feelings, decisions, and behavior!

“Madison Avenue”? Macedonian Avenue, you mean — and that avenue is a twelve-lane highway leading straight to (horrified gasp) the Kremlin!

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dervish's picture

@lotlizard Yes! Now we're getting somewhere! I see it clearly now. This is the piece of the puzzle that Bernays missed, it's a vast Macedonian conspiracy, involving mind control, body-snatching, hacking, trolling and worse.

Somebody needs to post this at TOP, they'll eat it up.

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"Obama promised transparency, but Assange is the one who brought it."

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@lotlizard We gonna rock down to Macedonian avenue
And then we'll take it higher!

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@lotlizard "This ride might be connected to Russia."

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

gulfgal98's picture

may be one of my favorites here in a long time. Biggrin

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Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@gulfgal98 It reminds me a little bit of the essay at TOP many many years ago, before the place got toxic.

That shithead Gonzalez had said in front of Congress that "President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson and President Roosevelt have all authorized electronic surveillance on a far broader scale than George W. Bush."

This led to great hilarity and snark, because, well, if Washington were doing electronic surveillance on a mass scale, that experiment of Franklin's with the kite and key must have been something.

Ah, the good old days, before the assholes ruined the place.

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver